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Happy New Year

Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

Happy New Year

Postby Lorraine » Sat Jan 03, 2004 1:08 am

So how was it for you??

We have just got back from spending christmas with my family - I am glad to say it was better than I thought. My family were their usual kind and loving selves and I think they understood that sometimes I smiled and sometimes I cried!

New year ripped my heart out as I knew it would. I have spent too many New years praying that this year will be the one - so I knew having to face another would be upsetting, I knew this one would be worse though, knowing that there is no more treatment planned and that all hope for a baby is now gone was too depressing for words.

But still this is a new year and so I hope there will be a new kind of hope.
DH and I have made a different wish list this year - we have made promises to one another and made new goals but this time at least we know these are achievable and ARE within the realms of possibilty!

There is still so much to conquer (battling this depression and getting back to work wpould be a start!) and this road is so very long but at least today I have a "new start" kind of feeling and I hope that it lasts!

I have been thinking of you all and wondering how the holidays were for you. I lit my candle for you at mass on Christmas eve, I said a prayer looking at the crib and wished us all HOPE.

I look forward to seeing you all back on the board. I love the updated site - its so much more friendly!
Lorraine :wink:
Married to my darling husband for almost 8 years - ttc for same.
Me - severe PCOS & Hubby - low sperm/poor morphology/antibodies.
Usual investigations/drug Tx then 3 IVF cycles - all negative.
Have chosen not to have any further Tx.
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2003 3:19 pm
Location: Kent


Postby Lorraine » Sat Jan 03, 2004 1:13 am

oops - note to self - only send message once!
Looks like I need a bit of practise with the new layout sorry guys!!
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2003 3:19 pm
Location: Kent

Postby Tracey S » Sat Jan 03, 2004 10:23 am


Happy NEw Year - good to catch up on your news. I truly hope you and DH conquer your wish list this year and go on to find different happy experiences.
I am not in the same place as you so can't pretend I know - I can only imagine.... We said goodbye to baby Oliver on 19th December and would have been due in 3 weeks....... so another milestone to pass which helps by being pg.
I wish you all the happiness you deserve
Tracey S
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2175
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2003 7:48 am
Location: Lincs

Postby Lorraine » Sat Jan 03, 2004 4:09 pm

Thank you Tracey
Despite being happily pregnant I know your grief for little Oliver will remain painful. My best friends daughter died almost exactly a year ago at 6 days old and they are now pregnant again too - but the desperate pain will never be resolved even though there is still much to be celebrated. Whilst they are looking forward to their new arrival some days they are rigid with fear and I feel sure you must be the same. I have never experienced the kind of loss that you have but I have witnessed it through my friends - and I sincerely wish you peace and a safe arrival for your baby.
Despite never having even got pregnant I have not been able to stop myself following the events I might have experienced had we had that positive last time - and I dream about being six months pregnant and looking forward to our baby in March.
As you say they are all milestones to be overcome. So we just keep on going - one breath at a time.......one foot in front of the other..................blah blah blah!...........
With Love from
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Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2003 3:19 pm
Location: Kent

Postby Alison » Sat Jan 03, 2004 4:51 pm

Hi Lorraine - happy new year to you too (twice!!) Thank you for your thoughts and prayers to friends here and glad to hear you looking forward.

My Christmas too has been better than I'd hoped (I didn't have high expectations!) and I've had a good time with friends and family. Like you, I really couldn't deal with new year though - as you say, you keep thinking, "this will be the year" and yet this year we aren't. I'm taking the line that this year's going to be different and it can't be worse than last year! But I'm doing better now the year's actually started - the sales have helped!

Speak soon, much love

Alison x
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Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 12:48 pm
Location: London

Postby Grace » Sat Jan 03, 2004 5:12 pm

Hi Lorraine
Good to hear from you. I have enjoyed Christmas even though I did n't go back to Ireland this year. It was good for us to spend some time together. I must admit to feeling pretty horrible before Christmas but it was okay. Mostly spent time with just DH and of course Oscar the Westie.

I usually hate New Year this year we had a couple of friends around and actually were chatting so much forgot the big count down which suited me really as it all gets a bit emotional.

Over the last few days have been having a few scary moments like keep thinking I am going to me 37 this year and not sure where to go from here really. I think we will have one more go in the Spring and that is it. Although part of me is thinking why bother why don't we just get on with our lives so that might happen too. I don't feel confident about it any more, my heart is n't really in it and am coming around to the idea that my life is going to go in another direction.

I am going to start looking at retraining. The future is scary in one way but I feel I am slowly beginning to turn a corner. I am sure there will be times when I feel like I am going backwards. You are right though though about hope that is what we all need in plentiful supplies.

Wishing all my friends a very happy 2004

Posts: 230
Joined: Thu May 01, 2003 2:42 pm

Postby Lisa Ch » Sun Jan 11, 2004 12:03 pm

although I feel like a bit of an intruder coming over here I always read your posts and think what strong determined women you all are.

I wanted to say that I hope this year does bring new things for you and that you each find your own way by whatever path or means that may be.

Take care, with love
Lisa xx
Lisa Ch
Posts: 294
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:12 pm

Postby Traci » Sat Jan 17, 2004 7:15 pm

Cameron and I have decided to have more tests done which would have cost £575 but the doctor said he would sort it for us , couldnt believe it SOMETHING FREE! :shock: so when I have had 2 x FSH one for Jan and one for Feb also all these tests results we will know wether or not we are able to go for my own eggs again , We have booked a fantastic holiday in Mexico in September so if we are allowd TMT before then if it works we cancell the holiday but if it doesnt then we have that to look forward to on the other hand if the out come on feb is that of using donor , we will have the holiday first and think long and hard about going for it , its tough to make the final decision to give up and I so admire all of you that have done so , I feel like I really want to give up now but my head is saying not yet , its so difficult. I went through a rough time when my last partner left me 8 weeks before our wedding and I was suicidal I gave him 150% as a strong person I never dremped I could get so low but I got through it and am a bit frightend I suppose if I give up too quick when Im not 100% sure then I would have that to face again , bit of a coward really but I think you know when the time is right .

Hope all you girlies are ok and I often read the threads but Im not really good at writing thoughts down serious cause I go to pieces but I am here for you

Trace x
1st cycle own eggs Neg
2nd cycle own eggs Neg
3rd cycle cousins eggs Neg
4th cycle unknown donor eggs Neg
Going to have sisters eggs Feb 06
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