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Hello old friends! I'm back with adoption update.

Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

Hello old friends! I'm back with adoption update.

Postby beckym » Sat Apr 24, 2004 11:37 am

Hello Traci (thanks for the message!), Grace, Alison, luce, Rachael and everyone else I know. Sorry if I've forgoten essential names but it's been a long time!

Thought I would update you on how we are getting on with the adoption. We contacted Kent CC at the beg of Jan and had our consultation training day in mid-Feb. We have our first prep group (of 3) on Monday and have finally had a phonecall from our SW to say that she wants us to meet up on 6 May to start homestudy process!!! This is a big event in the adoption process and will take about 6 months, before we go to panel. Then, if we are approved (cross fingers!) papers go to DFES in London for 3-6 months and then over to China for 7-9 Months (currently) before we get a referral (when you get the picture of your baby and our invited to travel out there to pick her up-god, that will be so exciting!!). The whole process from initial enquiry seems to take about 2 years but at least we feel we are finally moving. I was starting to get really despondent because although we seemed to get off to a good start things ground to a halt for around 7 weeks at the beg of March as we had to be allocated a new SW because of work-loads. Also in mid-Feb all the feelings about the mc seemed to hit badly - delayed reaction - so Feb and March were not nice months, but seem to have got over that now, though do have the occasional weepie moment!!

Next couple of weeks will be so busy as I am also starting work as an LSA at a special needs school down the road next week full-time. A bit of a change from what I used to do and pay is a third of what I made in town, but I love the environment and the kids there and feel very fulfilled at the end of the day which i certainly couldn't say about being a lawyer!! .( I volunteered at the school whilst I was doing my second round of IVF and at the beg of this year).

Just to say hope you are all well. Also, this website has been amazing for meeting people. I have met Becky (yes another Becky) who lives close to me and is adopting from the UK and we now meet up when we can and chat away on the phone at least once a week!! Traci, I still mean to catch up with you when I come up to see my sister-in-law - haven't been up yet this year!!

If any of you are considering overseas adoption there is a huge amount of support (and chat rooms!) out there for you. It seems a huge step to take as it is such a long process, but there is a lot to read up on and once you are on the ladder as we now seem to be (pray god, we don't have major delays) you get really caught up in the excitement of seeing others in front of you heading out there to collect their babies and finding out more about China etc. A true adventure. I think now this was meant to be for us as I livedin HK for 3 years, so maybe someone up there thought a little person in China needed us more than our own biological kid would have done. That's the way I like to think of it. Sorry for ranting, but you all know what I'm like when I'm on a roll.

Lots of love and hugs to my buddies (maybe some of you will join me as adoption buddies!)

beckym xxxx
Posts: 318
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2003 7:50 pm
Location: West Kent


Postby Nick » Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:34 pm

Dear Becky,

Just had a quiet moment to read the boards while DH away on work..
I don't get to use the computer as much as he is working a lot from home et.c..

So pleased you are well into the adoption process, and I am sure the time will fly. I know what you mean about the m/c bouncing back at you, when you think at what stage you would be at now. People at work, are getting pg all over the place, and I just feel more inadequate daily - and growing old.

Going through the buserelin for a fourth time - don't we just put ourselves through the mill..........argh.

Can I say hello to Grace too, if you are on the board. Hope everything OK with you too.

Glad there is lots of chat rooms for the adoption process too and a NEW JOB! Great fun, and a lovely change. Good for you to inject all that energy.

Love Nicky :P
Posts: 57
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2003 1:59 pm

Postby beckym » Thu Apr 29, 2004 8:04 pm

Hi Nick. Good to hear from you. I wish you all the best for this go. Here's hoping we'll both be mommies next year!

Posts: 318
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2003 7:50 pm
Location: West Kent

Postby Grace » Mon May 03, 2004 11:24 am

Hi Becky

Great to hear form you. You sound incredibly well and positve and exited. I know the process in long but it is moving in the right direction and you know there will be a positve outcome at the end of it all which is fantastic.

Good news about your new job too. I remember you told us you were doing voluntary work there. I am sure you must have been a great hit with all the children there.

I think it is very interesting that you say that you belive that perhhaps this is what is meant for you. It certainly sounds like that Becky and it does somehow make something postive come of all the sadness and hertbreak you have suffered.

I am doing fine. It has taken me quite a while to get over my last negative. Probably because it was such a good cycle and I thought surely this must be my turn....but it was n't. There have been alot of changes in our lives over the past few months though, which I think will all be for the good in the long term. We are planning a nice relaxed holiday at the end of the month and then I think we will try again. We both still think about adoption quite alot though I think we do need to talk alot more though.
Perhaps if you get a chance you could let me have the addresses of any websites that might be useful?

Hello to Nicky too, we seem to have cycled around the same time a few times. Will be truly hoping everything works out for you.

Where are all my other friends over here?? everyone is very quiet. I guess sometimes there is nothing much to say you just have to get on with it don't you??. Do think of you all though.
Bye for now
Posts: 230
Joined: Thu May 01, 2003 2:42 pm

Postby Dagny » Mon May 03, 2004 5:00 pm

Dear Becky

Just nipped over to say how pleased I am for you and your DH that your adoption plans are going well. I know the process can take time but there is so much more to it than you think and I really admire your courage and determination. That special little girl will have wonderful parents.

I am slowly getting to grips with our loss. Each day is a struggle and my heart is completely broken. I miss my little girl so much it hurts :cry: What we put ourselves through is incredible but I think it makes us better people and never take anything for granted.

It's good to here from you again and I know you don't post much but I just wanted to give you my love and support.

Take care love Dagny xkx :wink:
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1661
Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2003 3:43 pm
Location: Redhill, Surrey

Postby Alison » Fri May 07, 2004 10:46 pm

Hi Becky, its really good to hear from you sounding so positive and looking forward with your life. You always have been one to throw yourself into everything with so much energy and enthusiasm! Keep us in touch with your progress, and wishing you lots of love and luck

Alison x
Posts: 491
Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 12:48 pm
Location: London

Postby Lisa Ch » Tue May 25, 2004 9:11 am

Hi Becky

Thanks for the update, I often wonder how you are getting on with the adoption process. So pleased it all seems to be moving forward and hopefully you will not have to wait to long for the endless rounds of red tape to be completed and have your new child.

Your job sounds great, all positive steps.

Keep us updated and take care of yourself and dh (by the way, hope he hasn't had anymore accidents recently!!)

Love Lisa xx
Lisa Ch
Posts: 294
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:12 pm

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