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helped me

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helped me

Postby ogr1 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:59 pm

Eventually in order to help complete your grieving process in a healthy way, there are alot of things you can do to memorialise your baby. One of them is a memorial ceremony, often there are not baby remains left to buiry, so it is recommended you make your own personal commemoration of your baby and what he/she meant to you . It may also help to include close family and friends particulary if they feel they have lost the baby also. This is especially important for first time grandparents, first time uncles and aunts. Here are some suggestions i recommend utilising, I have not done all of these but i have read from credible sources that they do help.
Funeral - If you have the remains of your baby, it is recommended you buiry or cremate and give a funeral service, Include people you feel have the same or a sense a loss similar to yours. This will help people to aknowledge the short life and death of your baby and give loved ones and yourself a chance to say goodbye.
Naming your baby - this can help people to understand the signifigance of what the baby meant to you, Especially if you have other children... If this feels right, then do it. No body can tell you the right way to grieve, It does not matter how far you were or if you knew the gender .. It was your baby and thats all that does.
Anniversary - Have a small ceremony even if it means only you and your partner, on the anniversary of the conception or the date of loss. whether this means have a memorial night where you bring out the reminders or just have a glass of wine together to celebrate the time you did have with your baby.
Sending annoucements - This could be an easy alternative then having to go through the pain of telling everyone that knew you were pregnant. Although this may take some time.. sometimes it takes people a long time to be strong enough to letting people know... in any form.
Planting a tree - i recommend doing this around the time your baby was due, this way you have somewhere nice to go and sit and talk to your baby and also something to watch grow through the years as your baby would.
Keep or buy something special - This could be a piece of jewlery such as a locket or charm or possibly a birthstone ring, and wear it or keep it somewhere safe. This could feel as though you are carrying a little piece of your angel with you at all times.
Create a memory box - You could use this for cards or dried flowers as well as possible photographs from ultrasounds, toys or other items you had aquired during the course of your pregnancy.
Write letters/poetry - This could help you to express what the baby meant to you and the amount of love you have for the child. It could also help to keep a diary of lots of these things.. things you want to say to your baby but never had the chance.
Music - Listening to music that reminds you of your baby could help as this is a highly recommended healing technique.
Internet & other - There are so many ways you can memorialise your baby, It will hurt and bring back painful memories but it could also do alot of good through out your healing process. Sometimes although it hurts we need to cry and let it out.. There are many sites online such as this that have on-line tributes and memorials to angel babies.. This may also help .. If you have any other suggestions that you have found useful please feel free to let me know and i will include it, as we are always looking for a new way to remember our babies and the short time we had with them.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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