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First IVF resulted in miscarriage - How do I do it again?

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First IVF resulted in miscarriage - How do I do it again?

Postby *Ert* » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:41 pm

Hi,

I recently had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks and everything looked good. Then we went back after a week and there was no longer a heartbeat. It was devastating because it was so unexpected. We thought everything was good. I had to get a D and C which went fine. I have not had any cramping just bleeding. My husband and I are taking a week trip to get away from all this. Eventually we are going to have to talk about what is next. Right now it scares me so much to think about going through all that again and having the same thing happen. I did not have any embryos left over to freeze the first time. I just need support and stories of hope. Is it just time I need to feel ok to get back on the roller coaster and try it again?
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Postby kerpupples » Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:05 pm

If you're like me you'll be ready to try again after you've given yourself time to heal from the m/c. Ours was truly devastating. I didn't get AF for 3 months after the m/c which gave me the time I needed emotionally.

And now....we'll have our DD home with us in less than 2 months!

In hindsight it's easier to see how common m/c is....but I know that doesn't help you know. Time is truly a blessed healer in that regard.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby *Ert* » Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:50 am

kerpuppies,

Thank you so much for your response. It is nice to hear that you will have a daughter after all you went through.

My husband and I just got back from a last minute trip we planned to Florida. It was nice to get away and be together. Although coming back and having to go back to work tomorrow feels terrible. I just want to be with my husband and I get so upset when I am away from him.

We will not be able to do anything for 2 months so I hope that gives me time to build up the courage again. I am not worried about the whole process of going through IVF again because I can do that it is the outcome I am so scared of. I am so scared this can happen again. Where you scared of that too?
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Postby bdantonio » Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:11 pm

ert.. I am not gonna lie i was scared everytime i got a bfp to when it would end in bad news. To me the best day of it all was when i delivered.
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Postby nancy1 » Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:08 pm

Hi guys,

I miscarried one of my twins at week 6 after having some bleeding.
I had an u/s the next day and my ob found a heartbeat but confirmed my m/c and put me on bedrest. Now, every time I feel any type of discharge
(and I get a lot of it because of the progesterone vaginal capsule), I have to go check in the restroom.... I had another u/s today and there still was a strong heartbeat but needless to say, I don't know which one was beating faster, mine or the baby's...

The whole IVF process is a long emotional roller coaster ride:
- How many eggs do I have
-How many eggs will get fertilized?
-How many embryos a re good to transfer
-How many embryos are good enough to freeze?
-The 2 week waiting game for the beta results
-the different ultrasounds
-Amnio and will the baby make it through it...

Easier said than done but I am now trying to adopt the attitute that you can only do your best (follow the MDs directions, take care of yourself as best as you can) and the rest , if you're a believer, is up to God!
So I am truly sorry for your loss and wish you all the best in your next trial. And ultimately, I found, this experience has brought me closer to my husband than ever so I really happy that you are able to lean on him for support!
Have a wonderful week!
Nancy1
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Postby karenvancouverisland » Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:20 pm

i'm so sorry for your loss also...i had a m/c after my 2nd IVF, it was devastating. but i also knew that i wasn't done trying. somehow i managed to scrounge up some hope and determination, and try again, and now i'm 6 months pg.

i've been a poor responder to treatment, and was recommended to go to donor eggs. but somehow i persevered, stuck with my own eggs.

but i have worried alot about another m/c. ('alot' may not quite cover it)..but the stress of another 'failure' didn't compare to the stress of not trying again. it's been well worth it.

i wish you peace and hope during your recovery from this very difficult time. and to share 1 more thing- what gave me hope to try again, more than anything, was the fact that i had gotten pg, had a viable pregnancy (as was yours- seen on u/s with heartbeat)...so if your body can do it once, why not again?? miracles happen all the time- why not you?

i had to do another fresh cycle also as i only produced 2 big follies my 2nd cycle. and i don't know if you have insurance or what- but here in canada, it's all out of pocket..so not only was it an emotional risk, but a big financial cost to keep trying..but again, ALL WORTH IT.

hope you find what's right for you, karen
38 yrs. DOR, TTC since '04, recommended DE but didn't listen
3 IVF's & 1 FET: 1 cancellation, 1 m/c @ 12 wks, 1 chemical, 1 miracle boy & miracle 'natural' PG right now while waiting to cycle (WTF?)
feb 21 hb 154
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Postby kerpupples » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:04 pm

Oh my goodness, I was so terribly scared of another m/c! DH was I think even more so. The day we had our 6 week u/s this pregnancy was one of the most nerve-wracking we've ever been through. But as Karen said, I was also heartened by just knowing that I could actually get pregnant. I have seen women here who had 2 m/c in a row and my heart just breaks for them. It helps a little bit to know that the odds don't lean towards that happening for you though. Most miscarriages are not recurring.

It's a great sign that you and your DH are so close through this. Your mutual support will help both of you know when you're ready to try again. And you will be ready!
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby *Ert* » Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:21 am

Hi Ladies,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. It is so much easier to listen to and appreciate it when it comes from someone who has been through all this. I have had some people tell me "oh, you are young you will get pregnant again" It is just so annoying because they have no idea how much we went though to get pregnant. Being young (we are 30) does not mean everything is ok and will be easy for us.

Karen,

How high was your FSH? When I was doing my IUI's they tested each month and I think out of 4 months there was one month were it was a 12. Otherwise it was around 6-7. My doctor said that even though it was high for just one month that is still a red flag. She wants it under 10. I too was a slow responder. They retrieved 8 eggs but only 5 were mature. 4 fertilized. She knew all along that only five were mature and said we had the option of canceling the cycle and starting over with a different protocol. Obviously we went through with it. We had two embryos transferred and then the other two did not make it to the freeze. When I think of all that it scares me too. Out of the best eggs and sperm they could get from us none of them were strong enough.

I do agree with you and kerpuppies that it was a good sign that I got pregnant and on my first try. I am in a better place than I was 2 weeks ago. Each day is getting better and I am not so emotional.

Did you guys have a D and C or naturally? It was 2 weeks yesterday since my D and C and I am still bleeding. I bled for about 8 days then it stopped for about 3 days and then started up again. Does this sound normal? I go back to the doctor next week for post surgery check up. I am just ready for the bleeding to be over because that is a constant reminder all day.
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Postby bdantonio » Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:30 am

sounds normal ert
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Postby karenvancouverisland » Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:01 am

hi ert.... our histories are similar, my FSH was only tested once, on day 3 of my cycle, and then day 10. day 3 was ok at 6.6, day 10 was high at 11.2. my clinic's cut off is 12, so i scraped by.

my first ivf, i didn't respond at all...was cancelled. 2nd ivf was flare, highest dose of meds. only produced 2 large follies, they recommended cancelling and doing donor eggs next cycle. my gut told me to go to retrieval..both fertilized and were good grade, both implanted...got PG (clinic thought i was a miracle!).. single PG, seen on u/s at 7 wks. at 12 wks i m/c'd...they did d&c, and figured i'd m/c'd around wk 8, but fetus had stayed inside me (missed m/c).

it took 9 weeks for me to have another period...i took advantage of the break and took DHEA for 2 months before cycling (NY clinic for human reproduction website has lots of DHEA info- is good for women with high fsh/ diminished ovarian reserve)...this cycle produced 7 large follies, and another 4 mid-size ones.

in the end, they implanted 2, and froze 2. this result for me was great (although for others these are measly numbers), and i got PG! singleton again.. it was so hard with all the worry about another m/c, but here i am.

my clinic did not approve of me taking DHEA, but i researched the hell out of it, and did it anyways. this is expensive, i'm getting older and running out of $...so we just did it and i believe it helped.

i hope this story helps you.. i just so want to spread some hope to others after such a hard journey we've been through. feel free to message me anytime if i can provide you support. karen
38 yrs. DOR, TTC since '04, recommended DE but didn't listen
3 IVF's & 1 FET: 1 cancellation, 1 m/c @ 12 wks, 1 chemical, 1 miracle boy & miracle 'natural' PG right now while waiting to cycle (WTF?)
feb 21 hb 154
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