I dont mean to butt in, and I dont have any anwsers to ur questions, as i have never had the test done. I know this must be really scarey for u right now, and its easy for us to sit here and say 'relax' dont worry etc!
Can i ask you - would it make a difference to u if ur child was Downs? I know thats a really difficult question for many people and i dont expect u to anwser it if you do not wish to do so, there are lots of reasons why it would make a difference, and a lot of reasons why it shouldnt.
I'm not speaking from experience of living with a child with downs, but i do know of someone who does, and i also know of a family who's child was born with many many problems, but faced them head on and are stronger for it ... i read this once, it was sent to me by a woman who had given birth to a child with disabilities, and should i ever be faced with what u are going thru now, i will always revert back to this story:
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I sincerly hope that u will never have to get on that flight to Holland - but if you do, as the story goes - it can be as wonderful as Italy ...
Please let us know how your tests pan out, i would love to hear about your results - i do wish you luck, and every happiness with your family
P.S Under no circumstances have i tried to offend anyone reading this post, i did not set out to do that - i just wanted to share with you this (what i think is) wonderful story that always sticks in my mind ... xxx
1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP m/c @ 8 wks 4 IVF=BFN
We must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..
Adoption course starts March 19th