ive just come across your post and am amazed but also not completely surprised.
i'm amazed that your dh has been so blunt, uncaring, selfish and hurtful!! i really am....we're all in this together and need to stick together!! but i will say that on the other hand i'm not totally surprised. (i am at his behaviour but not at the fact that he's thinking about leaving) i think the emotional, physical and financial turmoil of infertility, IVF, pregnancy, birth, etc is immense on couples and its not surprising that some couples dont make it. ive been lucky enough and had an extremely supportive and loving dh throughout my cycles and pregnancy. but after our second ET, i got up one morning, packed my bags and just left. dont ask me what came over me but i'd just had enough (bearing in mind this was after ET as well and not even a BFN, quite the opposite, it turned out to be a BFP). i'd had enough of everything that had gone on and just needed time out. the whole thing is a trauma and sometimes its too overwhelming and you just need a break. luckily enough i realised how stupid i was being and after a couple of days returned. but i needed that get-away. i can now say that at the time (even if i didnt know it) and certainly now, ive never loved my husband more and we are stronger than ever.
as for the sex side of things...yes, that went down hill when the whole infertility thing started. when you are trying to conceive, sex turns into "another-chance-at-a-baby" and it becomes very mechanical. then, when going through ivf, its the last thing on your mind as you're so drugged up. then throughout pregnancy, ive found it difficult to relax....not only am i worried (its taken us a bloody long time to get to this!!
) but its also not comfortable any more. yes, we've done it a couple of times but its not been great because we're both worried and cant relax. and no doubt, once the baby is here, it will still be the same....i'll be tired, etc. I've worried that dh might feel neglected or frustrated and ive talked to him about it. and he's been honest with me and said yes, it can feel frustrating for him, but at the same time, he can completely understand why it is the way it is/has been and he loves me non-the-less. and sex isnt everything!!!
so what i'm trying to say is that its completely normal that your sex life and personal life is affected. and its also completely normal to just want to run away sometimes as its a trauma we go through. but what i dont understand is that your dh hasnt got the decency to stick by you and work it out. its not going to be easy but then if it was, everyone would live happily ever after and we know thats not life!! he should not have treated you like this, abandoned you like this and made you feel like this.
i hope you have sorted it out and maybe he had a mad moment like i did that time and has come back already and you are sorting it all out. if not, then i'm really sorry but you're worth so much more. you know where we are if you need us.....
2nd IVF/ICSI - baby girl Elliana born 21.4.08 weighing 7lb 6.5ounces; 7 frosties left...
[img]http://dl3.glitter-graphics.net/pub/471/471593nd9346hthf.gif[/img] to all!