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The next step

Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

The next step

Postby Lizzie » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:30 pm


Have not posted for quite a while but log on every now and then to read other people's experiences. Makes me feel a bit better that I am not the only 1 going through this.

After 6 years - 2 failed vasectomy reversals, 7 DIUI's, 1 ivf treatment and 3 superovulated di's, resulting in 1 ectopic pregnancy(June 2003) and 1 missed miscarriage (May 2005) (all self funded because of husband's vactectomy) my husband and I decided after last failed attempt in August 2005 that we could not afford any more treatment or heartache.

Looking into adoption but this is a very long, drawn out process. Social worker visited us in October 2005 and said that she would give us a positve recommendation but the adoption course does not start until May 2006.

In between all of this I still did not want to accept that I would never have my own child and in a last desperate attempt to try and get some nhs funding I was referred to my local gynocologist in November 2005 who suggested that because of my medical history that I probably would never have been able to carry a baby full term. She performed an HSP to find out if this was the case. HSP showed that my uterus was extremely small and so chances of carrying a baby full term was highly unlikely.

Wow so after all this cost, heartache, emotional roller coaster etc I cannot understand why this was never mentioned to me when initial laparoscopy was performed back in Dec 2002.

Feel that somebody has made a major error here and have been advised to write to Chief Executive of hospital trust that dealt with me.

Just wondering if anybody has had any similar situation and could offer any advice.

Trying to write the letter to the trust has opened up old wounds as I have had to go back to letters etc about treatment not working etc. Also looking at old invoices and seeing how much money we have literally wasted. It was hard enough to even become pregnant without knowing at the time there was little chance of ever getting a baby at the end of it.

As you can imagine this is not the easiest of times. Also to add insult to injury my stepdaughter had a baby at beginning of January. 3 weeks after mine should have been born if I had not miscarried.

Trying to keep sane - not always easy!!
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Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:38 pm

Postby Alison » Wed Mar 01, 2006 7:36 pm

Lizzie - gosh, what a lot you've been through, and no wonder you're finding it tough at times.

On the specifics of writing to your hospital (and trying to seek compensation) I don't have any experience, but its something I've considered but not pursued so I thought I'd share my thoughts. Nearly 20 years ago I had what I think now must have been pelvic inflamatory disease. I was in severe pain for several weeks, and the doctors made a number of different diagnoses before I was finally admitted to hospital where I had an emergency appendectomy, but even after that they said that didn't seem to be the cause of my pain, but it went away. What none of them picked up on was that I told them all (sheepishly) that I had just gone on the pill - at one stage they thought it might have been a side effect of the pill but no-one considered it might be an STI (sorry, probably far much TMI!) And I've had vague thoughts ever since that I might try to sue the health service for the cost of my treatments, all of which we've had to pay for privately.

I've not pursued it, partly because I wasn't really sure that I had a good case - certainly the medical aspects of it are speculation - and partly because I felt "moving on" was more important than looking back. In my non-expert opinion your case sounds much more cut and dried than mine, and only you can decide about whether it might help you move on/ reach closure. I guess your thinking about adoption is also a factor; social services may want you to have finished that before considering you, on the other hand some extra money may come in handy....

So, no answers, but wishing you luck and strength whatever you decide.

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Location: London

Postby Lizzie » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:33 pm

Hi Alison

Thanks for the reply and kind words. Glad to know there are people who we can talk to and understand!!!

Hope you are OK in whatever you are pursuing at the moment.

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Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:38 pm

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