Hi Ellie, thank you so much for starting this thead. I can relate to it so much!
I met my husband five years ago and moved from Manchester to Germany to be with him. Up until then, I had a lot of friends without kids, or older ones with older kids. Then I move to Germany, get married, find out about my problems conceiving, and the worst thing is, that EVERYBODY we know, has kids, is currently pregnant, or is planning to get pregnant. Noone seems to be having, or has had problems. I've been very open about my circumstances, but noone seems able to cope with talking to me about them. I've had to get used to the silences, awkward questions and being shut out of conversations. Its my fault too, that I've shut myself off. You just feel completely detatched from civilisation, because everywhere you are, you see families, babies, pregnant women, and you dream about joining their club as it were, so you can stop being "the freak".
I just had my second negative yesterday, so its great to get this off my chest. Here's a heart-stopping experience: whilst I was going through the usual emotions, crying fits, feelings of inadequacy and wanting to give up etc, I was texting my close friends (who arent pregnant!). In the middle of it all, I get a text from a friend's husband telling me that she had had her second bundle of joy at 9am that same day. Can anyone beat that?
It is a very difficult business. I'm just glad I have still have a couple of friends that arent pregnant yet, and a few gay ones, that arent likely to!!
Me and DH: 42
2006: 2 ectopics
2007-08: 2 IVFs, 4 FETs: all BFNs
approved for adoption
2009: IVF 3 - BFP!
Adam born 26 April 2010
5 frosties left
2012: FET - BFP! miscarriage at 8 weeks
2 remaining frosties didn't survive
Gearing up for foster care