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twin advice needed

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twin advice needed

Postby Susan L » Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:29 pm

Hi all

Dont really get much time to get on here any more but im in need of some advice my13 month old twins are always fighting it can be over toys or both wanting my attention or just sitting to close to each other its not like they dont like each other its more like they are trying to show who is boss they can be both as bad as each other but at times i feel my little girl can be worse they bite and pull each others hair i have to watch them all the time otherwise it lools like they have been pulled through a hedge as they scratch each others faces...

i have tried playing with them both at the same time with the same toy amd most of the time it ends in one getting stessed and throwing the toy i have tried sitting in the middle of them woth different toys and playing but one will climb over me and claim the other ones toy they always want what the other has i have been told that the toy thing is quite normal with twins but is all the rest ...

would be grateful for any advice as im in need of a plan of acrion

susan
Me 27 DP 28
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
Susan L
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Postby Susan L » Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:36 pm

sorry for all the typing mistakes forgot to check it till after i submited it
Me 27 DP 28
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
Susan L
Regular
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:02 am
Location: W London uk

Postby Toni » Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:12 pm

Hi sue

long time no speak. and blimey what a nightmare you seem to be having.

Im sure its just sibling rivalry and most likely just a phase they are going through. Do you have a play pen or anything where u can seperate one from the other? that might help?! we have 2 travel cots up all the time (one full of play balls) in seperate rooms.

Do they get much interaction with other children? Maybe a nursery so they can learn about sharing and interacting with other kids? im dreading putting mine in but its gotta be done sooner or later.

I know what u mean about them wanting each others toys tho. Charlotte is always stealing from Tom - he needs to learn to stand up for himself!!

Let me know how u get on and Good luck!

Love as always

Toni xx
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Toni
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Postby Toni » Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:48 pm

Hi Sue

how are u getting on??

Toni xx
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Toni
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Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 8:27 am

Postby Susan L » Fri Aug 11, 2006 11:46 pm

hi toni

thanks for the reply they are still no better i have got a play pen which im thinking of putting up in the babies room because if i put it up in the living room it would not leave much room for anything else they dont really get to play woth children there age most are a little older i thought they would be to young for a nursery at this stage though it would be nice not just for that reason but also to get a couple of hours to myself..

i find myself at the moment forever saying no to them you cant have that and you must not do that

are charlotte and tom walking yet? my two are not though dont think it will be long before kirsten is as she is getting braver every day

how are you getting on do you feel its getting easier or harder coping with twins?

must go and get some sleep will speak soon

take care

Sue
Me 27 DP 28
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
Susan L
Regular
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:02 am
Location: W London uk

Postby Juliana » Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:45 pm

Hi Susan,
I wish, with twins a year older than yours, that I could have some great helpful piece of advice for you, but I don't, I can just share my experience and tell you you are not the only one. Mine are also quite competitive except they don't get very often violent with each other, they mostly scream. However, small things that have helped me are: we have had two separate playpens for them for a while (yes it did fill completely the living room) and when they would misbehave I would separate them. Also, we tried to give them both attention by working with DP to make sure we cuddle them at the same time and take turn to hold each kid (although to be honest this has not prevented my son from clinging to me more than his dad). Still, Nadia tries to bite Alex when she is cross, which is failry often, recently. I must say like you I find this difficult but at the same time I guess I understand it is relatively normal, a way of carving out their own space in a situation when there is always two of them. I feel more for you, it is a pain to be fighting with them. Others on the boards have noted the stages they go through and these do pass one day when you have almsot lost hope - so I guess one of these days yours may just learn to live with each other and give you a break :)
in the meantime, good luck from
Juliana (and Nadia and Alex, aged 23 months)
Juliana
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Postby Toni » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:47 am

Hi Sue again

just a quick one. Dont worry about nurseries. Think of it this way - they will learn to mix with other kids before school, and will build up their imune systems catching all the childhood illnesses!

Thats what i tell myself to ease my guilt at abondoning them! :? Why not just start off at 1 day a week? or even one afternoon. thats what mine are doing - they start tomorrow. Aggghhh!!!!! I know they will absolutely love it tho as they are very happy and amiable kids. And they do all sorts of things there that i would not think of doing, or have the time to do, at home (such as painting - with brushes - at the age of 1!!??!!). and u could go shopping, or for lunch with a friend!! Freedom ........ hee hee!!!!

Let me know what u decide to do and how u get on.

love as always

Toni x
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Toni
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