Do's & Donts

[bekkie31]

Everyone is told different. Straight after they transferred the embryos - after they took the equipment out of me, I was told to stand up!!! Once I got home I kind of took it easy for a few days. My sister( who is now six months pregnant) was on her honeymoon in Thailand during her very early stages of pregnancy - and possibly around the time just before implantation, and was doing body-boarding, surfing, drinking alcohol, not getting much rest, having sex, jumping about etc...

I read everywhere - BED REST after transfer - but staright after transfer I had a 10 min walk to the train station, one hour on a train, 15 minute wait at a cold busstop, then a 15 minute walk from the busstop to my house. When my result comes back as negative, I know I will only blame myself and put it down to not resting immediately after transfer. But my clinic just said it was perfectly fine to move about.

Strange what we all get told hey?!!

Bekki

-TTC since around the year 2000
-Ectopic pregnancy resulting in a burst left tube Feb 2005 - cause was unknown - suspected minor birth defect of tube.
- No success conceiving after ectopic with one tube remaining (unclear if this is blocked or also affected by a birth defect )
-First IVF started on 06 October 2006 - now in 2nd week of the 2 week wait and waiting..

[Welshgirl38]

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[Terana]

Thank you, Becky
I am really touched by your support. I felt like you were with me all this time, in hospital, in my mind, living with me in the hotel room. I am sure that you are right and it is not our fault. Just amount of patients make doctors busier and colder. Maybe there should be a restriction and should treat 2 or max 3 patients at a time, then they'll think more about us:). Unfortunately now we have to take care of ourselves and get as much information as possible before anything we are going to do. Women are different and when somebody can give a birth easily on the way to hospital the other one has to do special exersices to get his body ready for that. I know a woman who didnt stop jogging during all her pregnancy and she was absolutely ok. In our case another minus is conditions in which we try to get the dreamt pregnancy. It is not a natural way, we get a lot of medications with a lot of side effects, we are stressed waiting for a positive result, we are fragile as my DH says. So if even doctors dont tell us we shouldnt forget about it. Yes, even staying in bed 2 weeks it sometimes doesnt work but at least that woman knows that she did everything right and it didnt work because it was not God's will.

[Terana]

Btw my flight back was the next day and it took about 4 hours and I dont blame myself or anybody because of that. I told girls from airways abt my treatment and they gave me 4 seats so I could sit or sleep as if I was home:) and I believe that it was ok to fly the next day.

[bekkie31]

It is definately not our fault if we get BFNs.

People are told completely different things. I do not believe it makes too much of a difference if we walk about after ET or rest. I think it is a case of just doing what your body tells you. Do not blame yourself.

I was also worried about having used a hot water bottle, also because of cramps, but then I read somewhere on the internet, that one reason for implantation failure, is because the stimulating hormones create excess fluid in the abdomen and makes the uterus cold!!!!!!! So I would have thought the use of a hot water bottle would help??!!... So basically I give up!! whatever we are told we should not do - it turns out we should do!! and everything we are told we should do turns out to be something we shouldn´t. So I should not worry!!! Main thing I reckon is healthy eating and plenty of fluids and basically being yourself.

One comforting thing that I did read (which will stop me blaming myself if I do get a BFN ) and have seen it mentioned on numerous websites, is that although the IVF success rates are around 20 -30% per cycle, a normal healthy couple trying to conceive NATURALLY also has only a 25 - 30% chance of pregnancy.

Hope it helps, Bekki



TTC since 2000 !!!!!!!
1st IVF began on 06 OCT - now in 2 week wait ...

[vicky77]

I read that IVF rates are 60-65%, and that is also what I was told by RE........

[bekkie31]

IVF rates are very vague anyway to be honest and not so easy to interpret - as there is not one standard person. It depends on things like the clinic (techniques used etc.. ), medication used in stimulation, age of woman, if there are genetic problems, sperm quality, bad habits (smoking ), type of fertility issue, ease of transfer, country IVF is done is (each country has different embryo laws etc.. ) etc.. etc... and the list goes on..

I was told to look at my treatment as positive as possible as I am relatively young and the doc said I was healthy.. he said my chances were 50 - 60 % looking at me as an individual and not at the success rate as a whole or globally. Unfortunately I got an earth-shattering BFN - I go back to docs on 21st November to discuss next steps etc..

If you have been told you have a good chance of 60 -65% and have also read this, then wow excellent and obviously I would not want you to get a BFN and suffer the way I am suffering right now. I pray for you.

Bekki xxx

[Welshgirl38]

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[bekkie31]

Becky thanks - there is nothing like support from people who have been through what I am going through.

It is devastating - I am torn to pieces at the moment. In a state of shock over the fact that it did not work - together with the huge financial loss. One of the bills we still have to pay also when we know it was a BFN. This whole experience with IVF was actually worse than the severe life-threatening ectopic pregnancy I had last year. I never thought I would be able to say that anything was worse than that, but now I can say IVF is for sure (atleast from my experience so far ).

Bekki xxxx

TTC since 2006

Feb 2005 - ectopic pregancy - unknown cause.
October 2006 - 1st IVF (which actually went well with no probs ) = BFN

[souris]

Hey girls

On my first IVF attempt, I was 23, no fertility problems on my side. I had 3 good embies put back. I stayed in bed for 3 days, did NOT shower, only washed myself with a flanel. Ate right, did not walk around etc... None survived... I also blamed myself. I did not know what I did wrong but none of my embies stayed.

And on my last attempt, I decided to live life as normal. After the transfer I sat down in the waiting room for 15 minutes, then had a walk to get back to my car, drove for 1and half hour. I was on holidays and had my 6 years old nephew to look after. Although I did not jump around or did crazy thing, I played with him, swam. I was very busy and it took things (as much as it is possible) off my mind.(which was great). I keep on telling myself that at that stage, noone getting pregnant naturaly knows that she should be carefull because her embies might be implanting.

And I am pregnant now! I do not feel guilty anymore for my 3 first embies. So many natural pregnancies end up before the woman knowing. I think it is mother nature way to prevent as much as possible sick or disable babies. That is what I believe anyway. I am pregnant with one baby, but I had 2 embies put back. So why only one made it? Because most probably the other one was "sick".
I strongly believe that when the embies want to stick around, not hot shower or fall on your but will harm it.

I wish you all luck
xxx
souris

[vicky77]

Bekki, I am so sorry about your BFN, I can imagine how devastated you must be.
Thank you for taking the time anyway to explain to me about the success rates, it clarified a lot of things.
Hope you have a BFP on the next cycle, never lose the faith!!!!

[bekkie31]

Thanks for comforting me about my BFN. After this first failed IVF attempt I have learned many things along the way. I just hope with everything I have learned, that it will help improve my success in the future.





Bekki xxx

[jemima]

Hi Gilrs....

Becky, Im so sorry about BFN. Hope your dream come true on next cycle.

Souris, Honey... Thanks for sharing your experince. I also did like your 1st one. People in my apt made me crazy. When i got AF, they said because i moved my body too much. I only went to accu twice a week!!! So next time, i hope i can do in normal way. Anyway, Im planning to ask you about this. I hope you don't mind. I remembered in Our Lovely Sept-Oct you mentioned about air traveling. How many days after ET did you do that? How long did it take? Thanks alot. I need this info. Im afraid my money is not enough to stay until HPT. Hope everything goes well with you... Enjoy pregnancy

Sticky baby dust to all of u.GBU

Luv, Jemma

[Xrayem]

Hi guys,

Just wanted to add to the advise. I am a very straight up and down kinda person and I decided after three failed IUI's that with my first IVF I would be as chilled as they come. I was and now I am pregnant with twins! Here is what I did:

* Immediatley after ET, I was told to rest in the theatre lounge for 30 mins where I was given a stiff brandy. The brandy is to relax you and is tradition at my clinic.

* I took the rest of the week off, not to stay in bed, but because I haven't had a holiday in 2 years and I thought a week lazing around the house would do me good!

* We were advised to abstain from sex for 6 days after ET but then we were back at it, enjoying each other like we did before ART took over our lives.

* I had a coffee or a glass of wine when I really felt like one. I still do.

* I ate chocolate gallore!

I am now 6 weeks with twins and they are doing well, as am I. I think the reason that this IVF worked was because I trusted in my body and accepted that I could not change the outcome. I was relaxed and so was my DH. We still are.

I wish you all well.
Em

[Welshgirl38]

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