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I want my baby back....

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I want my baby back....

Postby TansRN » Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:55 am

Well this is about all I can get out tonight. I just want my baby back again. I really miss her and I feel like no one in my world understands and I just want my baby back again.......tears....... :cry:
Tanya

IVF #1- 6/2006-DH had vasectomy
VERY SADLY ended in m/c of a beautiful baby girl at 12 weeks on Aug. 28, 2006.

FET 1/2007 -ive
#2 IVF/ICSI-4/2007 BFP!!! 1st beta 708!!!!
Sophie and Riley Arrived Dec. 10th 2008!!!
TansRN
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Postby DeniseM » Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:02 pm

Nothing anyone can say will make this feel any better. Go through, its the only way out. Know that you are not alone, many of us have been there too.

Prayers your way.
IUI twins ~ July 2006
IUI singleton ~ due Jan 15 2009
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Postby ogr1 » Thu Nov 16, 2006 9:12 pm

it is the hardest thing i have ever gone threw.
it has taken alot of work it ease the pain after our babies died.

still at times i get a pain when some one says something
how are you doing know after you lost your baby.
i just want to yell at them i didnt lose my child like i lose my car keys!!!!!!!

but i know that they dont mean to say it how it sounds.
i know i have even said it before.

i set time aside for me to cry or what ever i need to do to take the time to mourn.

every mc is very hard..
but i think it is even harder on us that go threw treatment.

i had to fight myself not to go out and un barry our son .. i just wanted to hold him again...
i do beleave that one day i will hold all of my children in my arms.
and that is what gets me threw the very hard and dark moments.
and like the nurse to elaine that the wound will heal but there will always be a scar...
if there is ever anything thing that i can do please let me know.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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Postby TansRN » Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:14 am

Thank you so much ladies. I really appreciate your comments and help. I am having a little better day today and I will be able to start BCP's this Sunday for FET and I am really looking forward to it. Nothing can fill the void that I have from my daughter and I know that you guys know what I am talking about but I sure would like a little one!!! I will have to keep you posted.
Tanya

IVF #1- 6/2006-DH had vasectomy
VERY SADLY ended in m/c of a beautiful baby girl at 12 weeks on Aug. 28, 2006.

FET 1/2007 -ive
#2 IVF/ICSI-4/2007 BFP!!! 1st beta 708!!!!
Sophie and Riley Arrived Dec. 10th 2008!!!
TansRN
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Posts: 554
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 7:13 pm
Location: Michigan

Postby souris » Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:15 pm

Hey Tans,

I just lost my baby, at 12 weeks as well. I had a D&C 2 days ago... The first thing I did when I woke up was to ask if it was a boy or a girl. I dont know if it was too soon to say, but no one answered. I guess I will never know. I feel like no one understand my pain, unless you have been through it. I had my baby for 3 months inside me, I loved it, I still do. I try to put on a brave face, mostly for my husband, but it is so hard. One day your are pregnant and the following day your not anymore... I will start another cycle as soon as possible, but I will never forget my baby, and I am so affraid for future pregnancies...

I wish you the best with your FET.

Love
Souris
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
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Postby TansRN » Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:42 pm

Hello-
I am so so sorry for your loss. I got tears in my eyes just reading your post because it hurt so bad. I know how bad it hurts. I know exactly how you are feeling. I was so depressed. I feel better because I have a plan. It helps to have a plan and to focus on the forward and not the backward. It is the only way I can function. I have a box that I put all of my u/s photos and my positive pregnancy tests in it as well as sympathy cards that people sent me. I still cant look in it but I want to keep it. My baby was so cute and so tiny. I just wanted her forever. I know how you feel and I am sooooo sorry for your loss. Please know that you are not alone and you will have good and bad days. It took me two weeks before I could really even start to move on-everyone is different. I had to really deal with the pain before truly moving on though. My DH was like you have to deal with this so that you can start the next cycle positive and happy. He was right. I needed to be prepared both physically and mentally for the FET. I am hopeful. What are your plans? If you ever need to talk please feel free to say anything. I went to a frief counselor and it is ok to feel whatever you want when you want for how long you want. Take care...
Tanya

IVF #1- 6/2006-DH had vasectomy
VERY SADLY ended in m/c of a beautiful baby girl at 12 weeks on Aug. 28, 2006.

FET 1/2007 -ive
#2 IVF/ICSI-4/2007 BFP!!! 1st beta 708!!!!
Sophie and Riley Arrived Dec. 10th 2008!!!
TansRN
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Posts: 554
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 7:13 pm
Location: Michigan


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