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Help me decide what to do with my embryo's.

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Help me decide what to do with my embryo's.

Postby Xrayem » Sun Jan 28, 2007 2:54 am

Hi,

After my first round of IVF, I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant with twins. I still have 9 grade 1 embryo's in the freezer. My clinic will store them for free for 1 year then we have to pay for them and can store them for up to 10years.

So far my pregnancy has been tough with severe morning sickness and if we are lucky enough to have a boy and a girl, we may not have any more children. I can't bear the idea of letting my other 9 embryo's die and would prefer to see them donated, but would only like them to go to a loving home with a mother and father.

Can I put stipulations on my embryo donations? I know that this is not an entirely politically correct view and apologise if I upset people. Your frank advise would be appreciated.
TTC 5yrs - Unexplained Infertility
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08
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Postby white » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:50 am

hi nobody can tell you what to do. they are yours.

i my self are a donatour of eggs and please no one email me arsking for them. i go of the top of the list which is hear in australia 3-5 years.
you can't sell them hear which is good. michel jakson could pay it but whould i wont to sell them to some one like that im happy not choseing.
i hate seeing the eggs wasted 2, but i have no rights over the pepol that get them, so if they had enof kids they can throw them away :shock: .
my family think im stuped for doing it and one of my sisters thinks that im giveing away my kids her neces. but i beleave that they won't look like us. as the porson that has the eggs in them will fead it difrently from there body and there heath will way in with the looks to. we wont eat the same thing so the milk from mum wont be the same to.

do you won't more kids ?

my fear is did i give good eggs. will they hate me if they don't take. am i doing the right thing. i will never know .

i hope in giveing eggs to some one to make them happy. how meny times can you give some thing to a stranger that you know they troly nead and will make them happy and they will remember for the rest of there life. :D my kids are teres so i might be infliting pain to :lol: :lol:
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I think all the women on here are good mothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Postby Henrietta » Tue Feb 13, 2007 6:44 pm

Therefore, anyone of us would be good to our child. Some of us like me have been trying for 10 years or more.
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TTC 1 year
1st IUI Jan 07 BFN
2nd IUI Feb 07 cancelled
3rd IUI April 29, 07 2ww=BFN
TTC ICI again Mar 08
TWW Test April 8th resulted in BFN
2nd ICI April 26, test on May 10.
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Postby AuntyPebbles » Wed Feb 14, 2007 4:44 pm

Em hey there wow your really far in your pregnancy now,

I have never been blessed with frosties but me and Hubby did discus what we would do should we be in that situation and like you we didn't want to throw them away when we know there are couples who could love them...can you do an open adoption?....with someone you know who could really use them, we looked into adopting embies but its a real money maker now maybe if you choose for yourselves the couples who get your embies? cut out all the so called charities making money off peoples situations

it would be an amazing gift to someone ....

lots of love Debz
Me 42 ,DH 45 ...3 IVF's BFN
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)

Now on Face Book pm me for information..
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Postby Kat » Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:31 pm

Hi xrayem
Difficult question - here are my thoughts -
All the forms we get to fill in ask us if we give permission for embryos to be used for research/stored/destroyed but never having been lucky enough to have frosties we have never been in the situation to donate them. I really don't know how it works with donating embryos. Nowadays if you donate eggs you have the chance the child would want to contact you (in the UK) - don't know if the same would go for if you donated embryos.
Interestingly, we were asked if we would accept a lesbian egg donor (we said yes) so if our clinic was required to ask us this, then maybe clinics are required to donate your embryos with conditions imposed by you.
Not sure of that helped at all, sorry, the best thing to do, as always, is to ask the clinic outright.
love
Kat xx
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
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Postby nicolamark » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:34 pm

Donated, embryos sperm and eggs are the greatest gift anyone can give, I would keep half of your embryo's and donate the rest, but at the end its your choice.

I am donating half my eggs, and recieving donated sperm, I think to donate is the kindness thing man can do!!!

All the best, but honey dont stress over this. You have at least 10 yrs hey!!
TTC 9yrs...lots of IUIs all BFN
1st IVF cancelled OHSS
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise
3rd IVF down regging now, EC expected 1st wk of sept.
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Postby ogr1 » Tue Feb 20, 2007 10:39 pm

donating is the only way some familys well ever beable to be parents
it is a true gift that men and women do..
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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Postby nicolamark » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:12 pm

Emma did u decide yet?? xx
TTC 9yrs...lots of IUIs all BFN
1st IVF cancelled OHSS
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise
3rd IVF down regging now, EC expected 1st wk of sept.
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Postby wandamorales » Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:23 pm

Emma you are very lucky to have embryos left over. I am 47 my husband is 46 although I have a son from my first marriage my husband has none so we decide to do egg donor. For my husband to become a father is the most precious gift I could do for him. However after my embryo transfer in which I had 4 implanted into me none took so I would up with a negative pregnnacy. It cost us $25,000. Egg donor, embryo sharing it is all expensive. I am considering looking into an embryo donation from some one myself and as I still which to fullfill my dreams of having a child. So good luck with your decision you are lucky you have embryos I don't . Best of luck to you.
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Postby nicolamark » Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:38 pm

Have u decided yet emma??
TTC 9yrs...lots of IUIs all BFN
1st IVF cancelled OHSS
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise
3rd IVF down regging now, EC expected 1st wk of sept.
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Postby Welshgirl38 » Tue Apr 03, 2007 6:02 pm

Hi Ladies,

I was lurking and came accross this thread. I hope u dont mind me nipping in and giving my two penneth.

Em: When we did ivf, we collected 12 eggs, but had already made the decision to only fertalize 2 - because we didnt want to be in the same situation as u are in now.
Dont get me wrong, its great that u have all these frosties, and all these chances - but we felt for us, if it had worked first time, (having already got 2 children from my first marriage) i didnt want to have to have a hoard of children well into my 40's, which we wouldnt be able to afford, and which i feel i wouldnt be able to cope with!
So either we freeze the other 10 (had they been grade 1's) and go on and give them away (The embryos) or dispose of them.
Im sorry to the ladies in here who rely on donated embryos - but i couldnt bear the thought of another woman carrying my DH's child - im sorry if that offends some ladies here, i know that it more than likely will.
The 2nd sinero was to dispose of them - which no way was we prepared to do that - so we came to the decision to only fertalize 2.
As i am passed the age of donation, i wasnt allowed to dontate the rest of my eggs - which again, i dont think i could have done - i think i would find it hard not knowing the woman envolved, and letting another woman bring up my child.

So i understand completly what u are going thru, and i hope u dont find it too hard to come to the decision - like someone said earlier, u do have 10 years to decide, but i can fully understand why it is on ur mind. I wish u well with ur twins, and hope ur feeling better soon (ur so lucky it worked first time for u), by the way, our 2 eggs went on to develop into embryos, but unfortunatley didnt stick - ironic isnt it, that ur's stuck and u got frosties, yet mine didnt and i have none!
But it was a decision that my DH and i felt strongly about, and ur situation is the reason why we decided it. I wish u all good health & happiness :D
Good Luck in ur decision .....

Becky xxx

1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP :) m/c @ 8 wks :( 4 IVF=BFN
We must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..

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Adoption course starts March 19th
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Postby jonandsteph » Mon May 21, 2007 5:04 am

It sounds like you still have a few months to consider your options. I think this is a VERY personal matter. Also, these are you and your husband's embryo's; I am pretty sure you CAN stipulate what type of family to donate them to, if you choose to donate. You can decide whether or not you want a little or a lot of contact with the family you consider donation to.

Congrats on your twins! How wonderful that it has worked for you. So sorry to hear that the pregnancy is a tough one, though!

I am just starting to find out more about Embryo Donation. My brother and sister-in-law are looking at their fertility options, and are actually on a waiting list with their RE, for embryo donation. I and my hubby may consider it in the future. (We have 3 adopted children, and are considering adding to our family...and looking at the different options, since we, also, have fertility issues.)

Good luck, and keep us posted!
Stephanie
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Embryos.

Postby elianabab » Tue Aug 21, 2007 3:44 am

Hello,

we`re a loving couple from Arizona,in our 40`s,we do have my son from previous marriage but our family isn`t complete and we`re craving for a child/children,we would love you to donate your embryos so we can all be a happy family,we just purchased a gorgeous new home and can`t wait to share it with new family members,thank you and god bless you.
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Postby megs » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:34 am

Hi,

Congratulations on your twins.

Considering how difficult your pregnancy has been (or sounds to be), maybe waiting to decide is possible? Just a thought.

Australian law is different than US law, but in the end, the idea of an open adoption that would allow the children a sense of history and roots is really worth considering if it is possible. You would get to control who adopted them (I do prefer the term adoption since I view frosties as fully-ensouled humans), and then you get to hear about any children born and know how they are doing, and they get to know you and why your created them (out of love) and why you placed them (because you couldn't transfer them and loved them too much to destroy them).

I found this study that might be useful/interesting/useless... http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/178 ... 29_fm.html

Good luck to you and your family.

Best,
Megs
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