Hi Ladies, have been reading all your stories...what a bunch of brave and determined young ladies we have here. You all soooooo deserve your
BFP's.
I read Carolyn's questions and your replies with great interest. With regards to telling people, most of my friends know we did IVF but only my sister and my brother know we used DE. Maybe we have bowed to peer pressure, I don't know. Most people seem quite OK with the concept of IVF as it is, unfortunately, common and well known. The idea of using DE is maybe one step too far for some. I don't know, I really didn't want to get into deep conversations as to why we went down this route. I don't feel that I need to justify my decision to people who probably wouldn't understand, even closest friends.
As for telling Matthew , we fully intend to talk to him when he is older and tell him how special he is!
With regards to donor information, I was quite happy to let the clinic pick the donor based on physical characteristics.....but I must admit that Matthew having brown eyes whilst
DP and I have blue has raised a few eyebrows amongst our friends and family! I couldn't care less and wouldn't swap him for the world. We have managed to answer any probing questions by saying that there must be recessive gene in the family...we looked it up on the internet so it is plausible! As for the medical history I think we have to trust the clinic and the selection procedures.
As few things for you ladies to think about for when you get your BFPs.....
When family and friends say Matthew looks just like me it feels very very strange, as I know that it is impossible. I wasn't prepared for this at all, don't know why!
During pregancy the drs/midwives ask a lot of questions about family
medical history. It did get very tiresome explaining the situation over and over again. (I was also very put out when, due to my age, the hospital office stamped a huge red sign on the front of my file saying HIGH RISK. A reminder everytime we went for an appointment!..but that's another story.)
When Matthew was born I really couldn't be bothered explaining our situation to all the midwives and health vistors and just answered the questions about family medical history etc...as best I could. I didn't lie, but for example if they asked 'is there any history of asthma/diabetes/heart disease in the family?', I would just say 'not to my knowledge'. It seemed to do the trick. I hadn't realised how much they would ask and how awkward I would feel answering, a constant reminder of the DE situation. It's all over now as he is thriving and no-one seems interested in medical history at the moment, I daresay I will be asked questions again in the future. But I think I will be more prepared then.
Anyway, just to say here anytime for you guys, will be reading and following your journeys, even if I don't post that often. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
PMA to all, wish we'd had this thread when I was going through tmt, it's a fab idea.
Bye for now
Hugs
Anna x
PS Kim, go to photobucket, password and username 'IVF group' and Matthew is there with his date of birth (23/3/07)