
I was hoping maybe anyone out their can tell us how they deal with all the pain. What are some reall things we can do to get through this no matter what our decisions maybe. How do we go on living. How do we get to your point. How do we carry on
Luellie wrote:Hi. I haven't been on the boards since a failed treatment in December. Since then I've been having problems with my old friends. I'm OK with my newer friends, it just seems to be my long-term good friendships that are getting difficult.
One friend in particular had a baby in January and is pregnant again already, and although she knows what I've been through, just kept bombarding me with baby photos through the post and letters and texts with nothing but her new baby on her mind. While I was on my 2 week wait she sent me an email listing 50 great things about having children. The final straw was when I texted her to wish her happy birthday and got a message back asking if I could think of any names for her unborn baby girl. A week later it was my birthday and she sent me a card she'd made with a photo of her baby on it and lots of photos of her baby inside. In the end I couldn't take anymore and texted her to say I was finding all her baby photos etc a bit much to take given my circumstances. I haven't heard from her since.
Other friends ring me and I just can't bring myself to answer the phone because I can't face having conversations about their children/babies/problems with babies/. I regularly speak to my oldest and best friend on the phone, she doesn't have children, is waiting for the right man to come along. She tries and mostly manages to be kind and tactful but even she sometimes upsets me by saying things like 'when I have babies you can feed them and wipe their bottoms and babysit while I go out' and I just think I really don't want to wipe your babies bottoms thanks, if I'm not getting the chance to wipe my own baby's bottom and enjoy the nice bits as well what makes me think I'd want to do the elbow work for yours?
I'm sorry to rant on but needed to get this off my chest somewhere as nobody else seems to understand. I feel like some kind of social pariah these days as none of my friends have been through what I've been through so they can't understand me and it's bad enough not being able to have a child of my own without feeling like I'm losing the closeness I once shared with my friends as well.
Ellie xx
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