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Baby prefers sleeping in arms

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Baby prefers sleeping in arms

Postby wannababy1229 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:19 am

My daughter is almost 7 weeks old. Trying to get her to nap during the day is a challenge because she prefers sleeping in the arms of whomever is holding her. Once she is asleep and I try to place her down, she wakes up, most of the time screaming. Consequently, she cat naps ALL DAY LONG! By late afternoon, she is incredibly crabby. This only seems to be a problem during the day. At night we are currently trying to establish a night routine which we are emphasizng self soothing. She still fights the idea but we are trying to stick to it.

I dont know how to handle this arm sleeping issue. How do I break this habit? I'm afraid that this problem will begin to effect her nighttime sleeping. Please help!
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Postby elliecat » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:46 am

Hi Wannababy i have an 8 week old and seem to be in the same position as you. Isabella is happy to go back to sleep for a morning nap in her cot but after that she wants to be in my arms or she falls asleep on my breast, when i put her down she wakes up after 10 mins. You are not alone and i am interested to hear what others suggest.
Ellie x
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Postby bella-s » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:05 am

Hi there...

My daughter Lucy is now 9 months old and she was a TERRIBLE sleeper early on in her life. Unfortunately, there are no easy solutions, and only 'sleep training' seemed to help for us. I would put her in her bassinet, and she would cry... i would lie on the floor so she couldn't see me and wait for 30 seconds or so to see if she would stop (it felt like 5 minutes!!!). If she still cried, I would start to rock her bassinet, or pat her bum...anything that would calm her EXCEPT pick he up. When she stopped crying, I would stop whatever I was doing. If she started crying again, I would do it all over again and again until she finally fell asleep. The key is to not pick her up unless she gets hysterical and inconsolable. It used to take me sometimes an hour, but it was all worth it in the end. Now I put her in her cot and that's it. I think the earlier you try these things the better.

Here are some other tips I was given when I went through this...

1. try putting a hot pack in the cot before she goes to bed. that way she still feels warmth after she's been in your arms when you lay her down.

2. put a t shirt that you have been wearing over her bassinet mattress so that she can smell you.

3. even though it's not a recommended sleeping position, babies apparently settle better on their sides. someone told me to roll lucy on her side and pat her etc. to settle her, then when she was asleep, gently roll her on her back. (we found rolling her onto her back woke her, so lucy always slept on her side from 3 weeks old).

i hope some of these work for you. good luck!!!

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Postby wannababy1229 » Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:04 pm

Thanks Bella for your suggestions. If my below routine doesnt work, will give your ideas a try! How long did it take for your baby to get used to this?

I discovered something that may be of help to Elliecat.....

I tried laying the drowsy baby down b4 she went to sleep. I positioned her boppy pillow next to her so that she felt the warmth of something next to her. I then continued by patting her tummy until she fell asleep and for about 10 minutes afterwards, even she she appears to be in a deep sleep. I figured this out yesterday and it seemed to work. Hopefully it will work again today. The next step is to try this in her crib instead of her sleeping on the couch. Wishme luck
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Postby jomae » Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:46 am

hey there
I thought i'd post as i experienced the same thing with my Ds he slept very well through the nightt but cat napped for 5 to 10 mins at a time ocassionally throught the day and the rest of the time he cryed due to being so tired I had made the mistake of putting him in a vibrating bouncer while bouncing it maually to try and get him to sleep and looking now it was the worse thing i could of done at 2 and a half months and at my wits end it was suggested i tryed controlled crying to help teach him to self soothe and it was the best thing along with having an obvious sleep routine such as playing rest music or singing a song just before bed i also use to get out the bed bear which only makes visits at bed time i basically put the music on put bear in next to ds gave him his plug said good night rest time and left the room if he cryed i went back into his room and gently patted until he began to settle and then i left again basically you leave them for 2 mins to begin with and then work your way to ten minutes of course at the beginning he cryed and cryed and the whole process could take up to an hour or so to get him off tp sleep but after 3 days he he was taking 5mins to settle and now all i do is lay him in his bed he gets his own dummy and bear and of he goes. keep in mind though some babies like my Ds would become more stimulated the longer your in the room I found i had to do those things i mentioned and just leave the room i would still go in every 2, 4, then 6 mins gradually increasing the time but the stroking or being in the room didn't work i just let him see me and put his plug back in and left as qiuetly as possible. the other trick is to look for the tired signs and get them to bed before they become over tired things to look for could be becoming wrestless change of cry usually higher in pitch jerky movements, increased sucking actions and of course the obviuos signs yawning lots of blinking rubbing eyes. like i was told you basically want to set the sleep patterns you want the to have for the next few years and for all situations shopping, visiting friends and so on for example you don't want bub to become depenedant on things such as vibrating bouncers like we did to go to sleep when you know its not practical unless you intend on not leaving the house for the next few years you need as little tools as you can thats why i use the teddy i can take it anywhere and it can be a constant for him. Maybe you also need to look at where your putting bub down during the day is there to much going on too much noise can you darken the room they need to differentiate between play and sleep time have you considered if bub has colic my Ds had it and it was another makor reason for his lack of sleepit's was essential to make sure he was burped properly for him to to settle. I always thought you could just put the baby down and of to sleep they would go but in fact some babies need to be taught to go to sleep hence the good routine that give clear signals that its sleep time. Good luck i hope something i've said helps and remember you'll soon fall into a routine and things will be better and then you can really start enjoying being a mum.
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Postby EYCI » Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:40 pm

Hi -
Here's how we handled the sleeping... with this advice, take it or leave it :) By the way, for those who do "controlled cyring" or "self-soothing" I think that is perfectly fine if that is your choice. Everyone does what is best for themselves and their family and I totally support that method, even though it is completely opposite of my approach.

We always held the baby until he was in a deep sleep (would take 25-30 minutes) then would lay him down wherever to sleep. During the day, it was on the floor, in his bouncy chair, or in his basinette. At night, he was in his basinette next to us for the first 6 weeks. However, I moved him to his crib at 6 weeks because he was a very noisy sleeper. Any little noise and I would wake up. Once I moved him, I got some better sleep.

As for "attending" to him day or night, if he woke up either crying or even fussing a little, we picked him up. At that point we would feed or rock him back to sleep and wait the 25-30 minutes for deep sleep to over take him. Then we would lay him back down. Granted, he often took 2-3 hour naps in our arms too when we just wanted some snuggle time. When we did lay him down, he would wake up often... sometimes after just a few minutes and we'd go back to the holding/rocking to get him back to sleep. There were times when laying him down would wake him up no matter what, and during those time, we just held him/slept with him. There were many early mornings that both DH and I would lay in bed propped up with our baby asleep on our chest. Some would argue that this isn't safe, but we were comfortable with it.

Around 3.5 months when he started to be more predictable, we'd lay him down in his crib awake at nap time and most times he would drift off to sleep on his own. If he cried, then we'd rock/soothe him to sleep. Now at 11 months, he goes down for naps and bedtime wide awake, and falls asleep on his own. We also have a fisher price aquarium in his crib that can play music, has lights and bubbles, which has helped to distract him from the idea of mommy and daddy leaving him.

This routine is what worked for us. For me, I think it helped to build a trusting relationship with our baby. He didn't fight naptime/bedtime because he knew we'd be there if he needed us. I don't think picking him up or rocking him spoiled him or made him unable to "self soothe." He was sleeping through the night by 5 months for 11 hours straight (by age 2.5 months he only got up once for a feed). Even now, when he once in awhile wakes up in the middle of the night... I just go in pick him up and give him a hug and snuggle for a minute and he relaxes and I can lay him back down again. He must like his crib a lot, because when he wakes in the morning, he'll lay there for a good 45 minutes talking to himself before he gets whiney and wants us to come get him. I don't know if we just got lucky, or if it was our "method" that got us a really good sleeper after a few months. Looking back, I don't regret a minute of the time I spent just holding and cuddling and rocking with him. In fact, I wish I did it more as now he is so "independent" that he only likes snuggling and rocking at night just before bedtime. The rest of the day he is too busy playing to just sit snuggled up with me.

At 7 weeks old, your little one is nowhere near capable of self-soothing. She loves her mommy and wants to be with you! Don't worry about sleeping with her, or always holding her... there will be plenty of time later to change the routine as she gets older and is more trusting of your bond and her environment. As for getting stuff done around the house, I just tried to remind myself that the baby doesn't care about laundry being done, the dishes washed, or if the house is picked up. But the baby will care if mommy is tired and cranky... so try to sleep when she does and forget everything else except keeping yourselves rested and fed. Also, you may want to try a sling or baby carrier, as she may fall asleep in that while you are still able to go about doing stuff. Hendricks often fell asleep in the baby bjorn while I was vacuuming or doing laundry.

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Postby buckeyegal » Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:41 am

hi wannababy! I think I remember you from other boards! Congrats on your baby! Have you heard of the book babywise? A friend recommended it to me, and it sooooooo helped my twins sleep better! I found it on Amazon. It's worth a try.
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