IVF-Infertility.com home

HELP - inconsolable 5 wk old twins

Forum for those who have undergone successful treatment, and wish to share their experiences of parenthood.

HELP - inconsolable 5 wk old twins

Postby hhb » Fri Nov 23, 2007 12:35 am

Our B/G twins turned 5 weeks yesterday, but they were 4.5 weeks early so adjusted age I guess is actually 5 days.

My daughter Brooke started "raging" at around one week old, a rage that I would associate with the colic-type screaming but was not in a daily a pattern that early. About 1-2 weeks after, my son Camden started doing the same. Now they both do have a pattern of screaming anywhere between 3pm-9pm, usually for about 2 hours at a time. They are absolutely inconsolable: nursing or holding them doesn't calm them down, rocking them, trying to feed a bottle before they're ready. Their pediatrician was afraid to label it colic last week at their 4 week appointment. If for some reason we do get them to calm down and/or sleep, the rage will come out at a different time of day.

The thing is, they are rarely truly ever content. I read the Babywise book and we're trying to do some of the things from the book, such as the order of eat, waketime, naptime, etc. except for at night. I know they're young but even their awake time turns into screaming, laying down for a nap turns into screaming, etc. They are just so hard to handle at times that my husband and I are getting depressed.

I know we are both sleep deprived (I'm nursing 99% of the time so he's getting much more sleep than I am) but their crying is just wearing on our own nervous systems. Does anyone have any experience with this at such a young age? I'm not sure if it's because they're preemies or not. We're trying our hardest not to over-stimulate them and their awake time is pretty calm. I just need some positive reinforcement. Today was tough - they had a hard time going back to sleep after their 4AM feeding and it's impossible to nap while they do because one of them is always crying to try to fall asleep, and when he/she does, the other one inevitably wakes up.

I'm sorry to sound like a drag - we're just desperate to get passed this stage and I need to talk to someone with a similar story whose babies are not raging anymore and are actually happy.

Thanks in advance, and Happy Turkey Day.
-Heidi
PS - their health is fine, they left the hospital with me, no medical intervention or issues, etc.
Me 36, DH 37
6 year old son
Boy-girl twins born 10/17/07
hhb
Member
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 4:51 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Sponsor
 

Postby kholtan » Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:17 am

Heidi~
I am so sorry you are having such a tough time of it! I don't know how to help you but please feel free to call me anytime if you need to talk. I won't mind the screaming baby in the background either if you won't mind mine! :?
The only thing I can think of other than what I already wrote to you is that maybe you should try a bit of formula more often? Are they gassy? If so Mylicon drops work well. I hope someone can help you more than I can. I'm so sorry. It will pass but taht doesn't help you now.

Also, find help! You sound like you need a break dear and no one is going to give you one but you. Let me know ifI can help in anyway!

Good luck!
Kimberly
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com

http://lilypie.com]Image

http://lilypie.com]Image
kholtan
Valued Contributor
 
Posts: 1114
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:52 pm
Location: Boise, Idaho

Postby hhb » Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:09 pm

Thanks, Kimberly. You are so sweet and caring and it does make me feel better.

We do give Camden the Mylicon drops with almost each feeding and that seems to help. I truthfully just think it's their fussy time and we just have to deal with it, but it is so hard.

I'm also having a hard time with the nap thing, but I know they are still young so I'm just going to keep trying. Camden didn't want to go back to sleep after the 6AM feeding this morning - Brooke was out like a light - so my husband just kept offering the binky and he finally dozed for about 20 minutes. They ate again at 8:45 and after awake time I put them in their crib - they've been crying on and off since 10:00 and it's 11:07. I know they're both tired (Brooke has been great with the naps lately but today not so good). They should be due to eat within the half hour so I'm just going to feed them now. It just stinks because I know they're tired and if they fell asleep now I'd have to wake them in a half hour anyways, and that's just not enough sleep time for my liking. We give them a bottle sometime between 7-8pm and then I nurse. I've tried a little test with him to see if he won't fall asleep during the day becuase he's hungry. I thawed out 3 oz of breastmilk the other day and he wouldn't take it, so I don't think it's hunger.

Oh well, it feels good to get things off my chest and I love hearing from you and other girls who have been through it. Last night was a decent night so I'm feeling a little better today (until tonight....!)

Thanks again for your support. I'm so glad to have this site!

-H
Me 36, DH 37
6 year old son
Boy-girl twins born 10/17/07
hhb
Member
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 4:51 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Postby kholtan » Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:50 pm

Heidi~
You sound like us. . Last night was great but what about tonight?AGH!
It will be like that for while. We still aren't super steady on the sleeping time either but we always have a goal so we know where we are going.

I know it's not babywise but we started putting music on at night for the babies and it really helped. I think right now they are stuck on a Norah Jones CD and it just makes all the little noises that could wake them go away. It's not a habit I really want to create but I figure once they become better sleepers we can slowly remove the tunes. I usually turn it off after the 2 am feeding. IT's peacful as well. The other thing I do is bathe them at night. I think it has helped to establish a bedtime routine and they are getting to know that that means nightime is around the corner.

Nursing two is a challenge! I am actually going into the LeLeche gal at my hospital next week to see if we can't get my babies to latch better because they crack and blister me. I do not want to get an infection so it's just a must! Do you have a place to go to where you are? I understand they really help. Nursing is pretty painful for me as well but nothing like you describe. OUCH! I hope you get some relief soon.

Can you seperated them into different rooms so they don't wake each other when they are alseep? Do they like vibration? Do they like going out in the stroller? Mine fall alseep in their stroller so we bundle up and head out in the afternoon. If we have to we'll stroll the mall this winter!
Does laying on their tummy help? Mine hate tummy time but some babies love it! Try bringing their feet into their chest and holding it. This helps my Dd get the gas out but my ds hates it.

Also, do you have a twin group you could join? My twin group will come help new moms when needed and also give tons of helpful tips. They also have "Getaway" nights for parents in need.

I feel so bad for you because I know just how you feel. When mine first started their no sleep phase I just wanted to scream some nights. . .and did! Thank God it passes! Hang on just keep doing what you are doing. If I think of anything else I'll write ya a note!

Take care of yourself first and foremost Heidi. I'll be thinking of ya!
Kimberly
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com

http://lilypie.com]Image

http://lilypie.com]Image
kholtan
Valued Contributor
 
Posts: 1114
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:52 pm
Location: Boise, Idaho

Postby cmoscar » Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:46 am

Heidi

I do not have twins, but I do have experience with your problem. My daughter is the love of my life, but she had major colic. As it turns out, she has reflux, but she was colicy until she turned about four and a half months old. Keeping her on a schedule (for sleeping, going out) that is not restrained by time helped. When she gets up in the morning, she is fed, than given a bath. After her bath we go for a walk. The times are based on her, but she knows what to expect in terms if order. It was hard for us and the depression did happen. At one point, I cried so much, DH thought I was losing it.

My daughter is my third child, but she was the only one that was colicy. It is hard t handle, but once it is over, they become normal happy heathly babies. My daugher is now five and half months old and she has settled down and is very bubbly. Try to take turns, do not take it personally, and just keep crossing off the days, one at a time.

Good luck with everything. If you have any questions, pm me or post here. I have used most of the remedies available over the counter and some that are perscription. Time is really the only cure.
Racheal Matos
1st IVF - Oct 06 - BFP It's A GIRL!

ImageImage
cmoscar
Regular
 
Posts: 375
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 2:43 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby cmoscar » Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:47 am

Duplicate posting
Racheal Matos
1st IVF - Oct 06 - BFP It's A GIRL!

ImageImage
cmoscar
Regular
 
Posts: 375
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 2:43 am
Location: Houston, TX

Postby LauraLou » Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:56 pm

Oh sweetie, I completely understandf! I also had colicky twins. They cried every day from 4:00pm to 9:00pm. It didn't matter what we did, they cried anyway. It was so frustrating and exhausting. The only thing I can say is that they will grow out of it. Mine did about 12 weeks.

My pedi said colic is common among preemies; mine were 35 weeks. One of my boys had reflux, but the other didn't. The dr said that there was nothing physically wrong with them, i.e. they weren't crying because they were in pain. It's just an immature nervous system, which will get better with time.

To be honest, there is no magic trick that will make them stop crying. Sometimes tight swaddling helped, sometimes it didn't. I would take a heating pad, turn it on low, cover it with a towel and lay a baby with his tummy over the pad. Again, sometimes it helped, sometimes not.

The most important thing is that you get some rest. I know it's hard when your babies are crying, but you have to sleep. Put them in their crib, close the door, turn off the baby monitor and sleep for an hour. I couldn't imagine doing that in the beginning, but after weeks and weeks of getting no sleep, I learned to do it.

They won't come to any harm crying in their cribs and they will cry whether you are there listening to them or not. There really is nothing you can do and if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of them.

Their first 3 months were the hardest of my life. I really questioned why I had gone thru IVF and struggled so hard to have them, just to be miserable and unhappy. Then they turned 3 months, stopped crying all the time and slept thru the night. Suddenly I was so happy and so were my babies. Now they are smiling, laughing and such a joy to be around.

Please hang in there and know that it will get better. You will sleep again, be happy and enjoy your babies. People who don't have colicky babies really don't understand. So please don't let anyone make you feel bad, like you are doing something wrong. Let me know it I can be of any help.

Laura
Me 38, DH 52
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
Image
LauraLou
Regular
 
Posts: 397
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:18 pm
Location: Texas

Postby hhb » Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:22 pm

Hi Laura -

I just printed off your post to show my husband, and to read and re-read! Everyone has been so supportive on this board and your experience sounds so similar to what we're experiencing. They'll be 6 weeks on Wednesday, so we'll be counting down the next 6! My son's colic stopped at 12 weeks also, and we thought it was hard listening to him - two is just a nightmare, but I'm so glad to hear that your babies grew out of it at that time (mine were born at 35.5 weeks).

I, too, questioned my choice of doing IVF - why did I do this to my nice little family of three? Why couldn't I just be content as a mother of one beautiful, happy boy? But it's refreshing not only to hear that you felt that way, but that you no longer feel that way and that you are enjoying your babies. I love them, but I'm not loving life right now - I keep telling myself, "This, too, shall pass..."

Thank you, thank you, thank you! All of you!!!

-H
Me 36, DH 37
6 year old son
Boy-girl twins born 10/17/07
hhb
Member
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 4:51 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Postby Tracii » Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:03 pm

My daughter also did not have colic - per midwife and doctors...but after months of screaming - and I mean screaming...we were finally told she has reflux...my doctor did not want to give Isabella drugs - nor did I want to give them to her...but switched formulas to an anti-reflux formula. She stopped the screaming at around 4 months...but she gets bouts of spitting up...still does every once in a while. I thought those 4 months were horrible to be honest and when I think about a 2nd child I just remember the agony my daughter was having and me too! Hang in there - you have a lot on your hands with twins and a 3 year old.
Traci
me37,DH49
IUI 01/05:-
1. IVF - 04/05: -
2. IVF -cancelled -preg nat-m/c 5w3d
3. IVF -success
Image
Tracii
Valued Contributor
 
Posts: 1039
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:23 am
Location: Munich, Germany

Stop eating dairy and wheat!!!!!!!!!!!

Postby Mazy++ » Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:50 pm

Just a quick tip if you're breastfeeding - we had terrible screaming and crying problems with our son but I cut all dairy and wheat gluten out of my diet and he is a COMPLETELY different baby. He is calm and happy. No more reflux. It's amazing. It's not as difficult as it sounds either - I would do anything to stop him from crying and this worked!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mazy++
Member
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:37 pm

Postby Toni » Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:23 pm

Hi I know this tip isnt always recieved very well, but have u tried white noise? U can buy white noise players and we got one. It was just a tape player - like a walkman? - but it had a speaker on the outside instead of a hole for headphones to go into, and came with a selection of tapes. It really helped as mine too had trouble settling at times. Try putting the hoover near them, or putting them near the extractor fan in the kitchen.

Hope this helps.

Toni x
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Toni
Regular
 
Posts: 360
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 8:27 am


Return to Parents after treatment

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests