Hi to everyone,<br>I'm not sure if any of you will know me, i was posting a lot early part of this year when i had treatment.<br>I've just been reading this post and so much of it is ringing true for me and i had to reply to you all.<br>Briefly, I've had 6 clomid cycles and 1 IVF (ending in 12wk
m/c) over 3 years ago when i was married - my marriage then broke down, partly due to my obsession with having a baby and convincing myself it would make our marriage work out (how wrong i was - he & his new partner now have a baby and aren't happy either !)<br>I then met my soulmate and after 2 yrs together decided to fund ourselves for ICSI (not entitled to funding before 30yrs old) - i have PCOS and partner has v.low count. Unfortunately had a negative result but we do have 5 frozens. <br>I became very self conscious after failure and have decided to concentrate on feeling better both outside & in before trying again - partly due to the fact that it gets me down so much being 'large' - especially without cause (i seem to think that if i was pregnant i wouldnt care how big i got - it would be worth it !)<br>I know how you feel about socialising with pregnant people,babies, children. <br>I think my biggest problem is pregnant women, i envy them so much and it upsets me so much to think that Paul & I may not experience the pleasure of our own child growing inside me.<br>We now have funding available to us but are in the middle of moving house, so are hopefully going back next year.<br>We also have the frozen's, and after reading all the positives from FET - i now want to do that, until i think about it !<br>I wish you all luck whatever you decide to do and if any one wants to chat or e-mail, feel free to drop me a line.<br>On a plus note - i was adopted as a baby and had the most wonderful upbringing a child could ever want. my adopted mum is my MUM and i do truly believe that your parents are who bring you up. I do, as an adopted baby wish to have my own child so i can have a real blood relative - if that makes sense, To have a baby who would not only be loved and raised by us, but also look like us (poor thing !)<br>love to you all, take care<br>Becky xx