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hurts

Postby ogr » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:05 pm

i was doing pretty good. but i just hurt inside. it is just so full of emptyness...there is such a longing inside that i cant fill.<br>yesterday was i month that i lost our son. it all just hurts.<br> becky
cleaning out my old desk and found a cd that had a bunch of stuff on it and one of my old names and password was on it and it worked.. hopefuly i can find my first name that i used..
nick there is hope
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Postby caz1 » Wed Aug 06, 2003 7:51 am

O becky - I just dont know what to say to you. You poor poor thing.<br>You musnt rush yourself - it WILL take a while for you to feel anything like your old self again - and you CANNOT beat yourself up by thinking you HAVE to feel good again quickly. It would be odd if you did feel normal again so soon. Am no expert - but I do think humans (especially women!) are amazingly resilient and you WILL feel better again. And when you get your strength back you will be abe to think so clearly about the future. On the positive side - you did get SO far.... If you DO decide to try again ever(and it really to early to talk about this) the docs will be totally set up to look after you. You WILL have what you want. I know it. <br><br>But I know that doesnt make up for what you have lost and how lost you must be feeling now - <br>Becky, just KEEP talking. To us, your dh, coucellor, family, friends, priest...whatever , just keep talking and crying. Dont try and be brave - why do that? You just have to focus on healing yourself. If you feel guilty about off loading on others , DONT. Offloading will help you to get better and therefore make people around you happier. Am I making ANY SENSE?!<br><br>Are you talking to anyone at home, a coucellor perhaps? Let us know how youy are doing please.<br><br>All love<br><br>Cazx
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Postby caz1 » Thu Aug 07, 2003 7:56 am

Becky - may I suggest you put this message on the main chat board I think more people look and will have many words of wisdom and help.......if you want to do it, I would def paste it on<br><br>Take care<br><br>Cazxx
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Postby Tracey S » Thu Aug 07, 2003 12:19 pm

Becky<br><br>wanted to pop over here as I knew it was a month since you sadly lost moses craig...... i just wanted to say a day does not go by when I don't think about you and I listened and read your e mails so I don't dwell on all the negativity - I just think about you. Sadly a friend in the village had waited for her baby for 5 years - (this time around) more in total and had several m/c's - she has just lost baby trinity at 32 weeks to the cord strangling her and buried her on saturday. I thought of you and realise I must just take each day as it comes and try to remember all the happy tales.<br>My thoughts are with you and Craig as always and I know you are still experiencing emptiness. I truly wish I could help - I can't but am sure this is "normal" - whatever normal can be and in time as you are such a special person this void will fill with something positive and happy to remember Moses by.<br>with special love<br>Tracey<br>xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
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Postby Loonpants » Thu Aug 07, 2003 9:19 pm

Becky<br><br>Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. My baby would have been due in two weeks time and as it gets closer I am also hurting. Let's take strength from each other and help each other through these feelings. We have been through so much and I think it is normal that we have good days and bad days and really crap days.<br><br>Don't forget you have friends on here who are willing to listen and to support you especially at the most difficult times. <br><br>Love as always<br><br>Lisa(Loonpants)<br>xxxx
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Postby ogr » Sun Aug 10, 2003 11:12 pm

you guys are all so wonderful. i dont know what i would do with out all of you.<br>the hard thing with everything is that because of my childhood.my birth father was a very awful person.he took away my child hood and know he took away my parent hood. it had done more damage inside then what they had thought.<br> but i hold on to the fact that we will see are son and purfect twins again some day and they will be perfect and they will never have any pain.. i will be able to hold them and rock them..<br>lisa i am so sorry about your loss. our twins would have been born last month.<br> caz what is the main chat board?and thank you for all of your wonderful words.<br> tracey as always thank you and are you drinking all of your WATER!!!!!!!!!! and are you feeling any better?<br> love becky
cleaning out my old desk and found a cd that had a bunch of stuff on it and one of my old names and password was on it and it worked.. hopefuly i can find my first name that i used..
nick there is hope
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Postby Jo Locker » Mon Aug 11, 2003 1:15 pm

Becky I'm just writing to send you my love and let you know that I often think about you. With regard to your sadness I'd just say one thing - don't expect to get over the loss of your child cos personally I don't think that parents ever could, I don't think it's possible. You talk about your childhood and I think that this is the cruelest part of all.<br><br>The best thing you can do is think what your son would want for you and your husband - he would definately want you to have the happiest life possible, you know that for certain cos it's what you'd want for him had things been the other way round and he'd lost you.<br><br>I always mention you in my prayers Becky, as I bet do loads of the other girls.<br><br>Jo.XXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Postby caz1 » Tue Aug 12, 2003 8:33 am

My god you are amazing Becky. You must the strongest person I have ever come across. HAng on in there babe.<br><br>By main msg baord I just meant the "general forum" - I think more pwoplw look at it. that is...if you fel like chatting to a bigger group. JUst a thought.<br><br>Take care<br><br>Cazx
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