Donor Insemination

by **Janice** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 7:59 pm

Our second ICSI failed two weeks ago. I knew it had failed before I went for the PG test at the centre, so I was able to ask some questions that I wouldn't have done until our 6 week review. Basically my eggs don't like to be injected for ICSI but DH's sperm can't swim well enough for IVF. We are considering donor insemination very seriously as a way forward. Does anyone have any experience of it?

by **ogr** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 11:48 pm

i am so sorry for your heart ache.. i truly feel that it doesnt matter where the eggs or the sperm come from.what does matter is the final out come.once you have that baby growing inside of you you dont think of anything else.it becomes apart of you.. good luck and my prayers are with you. becky

by **alice** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 5:24 pm

hi janice, I did post a reply, but its gone and i'm not sure whether or not you read it. I had donor insemination for all my treatments 8 IUIs and IVF IVF/ ICSI, but none of them worked. Frozen sperm has less chance of working than fresh sperm and although may help you probably won't be the miracle you hope for. This sounds really blunt I know, but I wish someone would have told us that from the beginning. If you want to chat more let me know, but with the problmes with the site I don't want to write any more in case it goes. alicexxx

by **Janice** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:08 am

Alice, Thanks for your reply. I need people to be blunt with me right now, so thanks. I don't know whether to put more time, effort and finances into treatment or to head down the adoption route straight away. We have used DH's frozen sperm for our ICSI tmt and we had good fertilisation but then the embryos don't grow well because my eggs react to being injected. I am sorry to hear that you have been unsuccessful 8 times - twice has been hard enough - so I admire you. Thanks for your advice, we'll keep thinking.

by **alice** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 1:57 pm

Hi Janice, just to say that using donor sperm never created good embryos either. Now I'm not sure whether that was my eggs or the sperm? Its all a bit of a mystery really isn't it? the real cure for infertility is making them stick! We are going the adoption route and I have to say is the best thing we could have done. There truely is light at the end of the tunnel and this time next year I really could be a mum. Its all now a mtter of time rather than ifs and buts. Hope you work out the right solution for you alicexxx

by **caz1** » Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:00 pm

WOW Alice- I am considering using donor as a back up in next ICSI (after first just failed with DH sperm only). I hadnt really realised that it was so tough - but of course what you say makes complete sense - frozen aint so good. Maybe doing it via IVF/ ICSI helps. Dunno?? I have found choosing a donor incredibly difficult as the clinic doesnt seem to think that I should really care about who the donor is. Well I do! Its not just physical stuff- but I kind of care that they have a good mind too, and I know its not a perfect way of doing it, but what their job is probably gives me a good idea of that. Last time I got offered a train driver , whos hobby was wrestling!! I ahd to laugh, HELP!!!! It Sounds awful of me to care about what job they do - its irrelevant really but it just give me a BIt more info as to what sort of qualities a donor has.... thats just the way it is for me. Consequently its been MUCH harder than I expected to find a donor.... apparently there quite a shortage.. DH and I STILL in massive dilemna about whether we would ever tell ANYONE. I am increasingly falling into teh keeping it VERY private camp. MAybe I would tell the child when they were old enough to keep it private too.. What do you all think?? I just think that being open about it , potentially causes more problems than it solves. and all it actually achieves is MAYBE making me and DH feel better (like a confessional I guess)- which isnt really the right reason for being open about something is it?? Dunno. REALLY TOUGH. Would love to chat Janice sound like we are in similar boat, and Alice - I knwo we've chatted before on this - but as always any thoughts ?? - am very grateful!! PS does anyone know about the potentail changes to the regulations on DI that are coming in quite soon? I have lost track Cazxx

by **Lisa_P** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 2:34 pm

Hi there Caz, Alice, Janice and Org I was interested to read your threads on DI. My dh and i are just about to embark on our first DIUI treatment, sometime mid September hopefully. My dh has a donor child from his first marriage and we're going to be lucky enough to use the same sample. At the hospital the other day we were told all of the negatives and the possihble positives of having a DI baby.To be honest I've nown this was going to be our way forward since I met dh and i've come to terms with it. As far as telling the child, we're all for it. We think it's only fair to the child that they are aware of their origins. We believe the basis of any relationship is trust and honesty and to bring up a chld without that would be devastating to the child / young adult if they ever found out. So many chldren these days grow up without their natural fathers and many grow up in step families. Surely honesty is the best policy. The donor conception network web site has some great articles that you may find useful www.dcnetwork.org . Good luck and all the best Lisa x