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Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

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Postby ogr1 » Fri Nov 07, 2003 9:05 pm

i dont know where this came from but i have it printed out so i can read it often.<br> <br> A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst <br>of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere <br>the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or <br>struggling to hold on. <br><br>Your tears begin to subside, you shudder once or twice; you blink back your <br>tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your <br>awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to <br>change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the <br>next horizon. <br><br>You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming <br>or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale <br>endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily <br>ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is <br>born of acceptance. <br><br>You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone <br>will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and <br>that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn <br>the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a <br>sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval. <br><br>You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you <br>(or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really <br>count on is the unexpected. <br><br>You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what <br>they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that's not <br>always about you. <br><br>So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the <br>process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. <br>You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they <br>are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the <br>process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. <br><br>You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around <br>you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been <br>ingrained into your psyche. <br><br>And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you <br>should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you <br>should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should <br>make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should <br>marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your <br>parents, family, and friends. <br><br>You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And <br>you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand <br>for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to <br>discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have <br>bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your <br>instincts. <br><br>You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there <br>is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring <br>through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. <br><br>You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated <br>ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation <br>upon which you must build a life. <br><br>You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the <br>world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish <br>between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries <br>and learning to say NO. <br><br>You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry <br>and that martyrs get burned at the stake. <br><br>Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to <br>stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as <br>they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control <br>people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean <br>lonely. <br><br>You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings side, smoothing <br>things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement <br>are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for <br>the things you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. <br>You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, <br>kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. <br><br>And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to <br>care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, <br>drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired <br>fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. <br><br>And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take <br>more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get <br>in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a <br>self-fulfilling prophecy. <br><br>You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that <br>wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it <br>happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you <br>need direction, discipline and perseverance. <br><br>You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to <br>risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the <br>greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and <br>through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it <br>and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own <br>terms. <br><br>And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a <br>cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't <br>always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things <br>happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not <br>to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to <br>answer your prayers. It's just life happening. <br><br>And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -- the Ego. You <br>learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be <br>understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and <br>poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are <br>wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. <br><br>You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple <br>things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth <br>can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm <br>bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for <br>yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray <br>yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. <br><br>And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. <br>And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open <br>to every wonderful possibility. <br><br>Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a <br>stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to <br>live as best you can <br>please know that each one of us are wonderful people and that you are loved. love becky<br> <br>
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Postby Alison » Sat Nov 08, 2003 9:09 pm

Hi Becky - thanks for posting this, there's a lot in there to really take heart from. Love<br><br>Alison x
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Postby fi » Wed Nov 26, 2003 10:03 pm

this is called the rainbow i think and i have had it in my 'journal' for years, i read it periodically mostly after failed ICSIs!!!! it gives me strength, well done for putting it here, hope it gives you strength to get through Becky,<br>love fi
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Postby Traci » Sun Nov 30, 2003 10:13 am

Wgat a long read!!! But very much worth it <br><br>Thanks <br>Trace x
1st cycle own eggs Neg
2nd cycle own eggs Neg
3rd cycle cousins eggs Neg
4th cycle unknown donor eggs Neg
Going to have sisters eggs Feb 06
NEVER GIVE UP!
Traci
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Postby sam1 » Sun Nov 30, 2003 12:54 pm

That is quite a brilliant piece of writing! Im sam and I havent posted on this site before. Im on my 4th IVF attempt, in midst of injections and sniffing at the moment. It's so hard to know when to give up trying. But I think that Im heading towards it now. Im so hoping this one will work. But reading that brought tears to my eyes. It's so, so true. It is all just life happening and it isnt personal, even though it really feels like it sometimes. I really believe life is a hard struggle and not an easy ride! <br><br>Anyway, thanks for that, Im so glad I read it all.<br><br>Sam<br>x
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