Good to hear from you all. I really appreciate being able to share my thoughts and feelings with you all. You are all a great support.<br><br>I have had a S**t morning at work. I am not on top of things at all. I ended up bursting in to tears about something really stupid. I know I was not crying about that, but crying because I failed my last cycle. I know failed it not a nice word but that is how I feel an utter failure. My boss brought me home. I have just phoned
DH at work and that has made me feel alot better he is so good. <br> This is all so hard, I just feel everything is out of control.<br>My rational side is telling me that it is normal to through all this after everything but it is just so hard. I am the kind of person who on the outside seems fine but deep down I am not. At least I can come on here and say exactly how horrible this is and how hard and how unfair that we all have to through so much pain when we are all such nice people and deserve so much more.<br><br>My little dog gets so upset when I cry and as I am sitting here he presenting me with all his toys, he always does this, and have to say it does make me smile. He is a great comfort.<br><br>We are going to and see our consultant again in December. I think
DH wants to try again. I am not sure. I mean I had defintely thought this was it. Now I am mixed up. I am worried because I don't want to become addicted to it and maybe all we are doing is putting off the fact that we must face up to the reality that we will never have children. I am worried that
DH might only be saying that he wants to try again as he really can't bear to see me in such pain and so hopeless. I can't tell you how mixed up I feel about it all. I wish I could be 100% one way or the other and then just move on but I just don't know. Does anyone else have these doubts?<br><br>Sorry for going on but as you can see I am having a bad day, or week really. I am going to take doggy out for a walk in a bit that will help.<br><br>Hope you are all doing okay. Thanks for being there, I really, really mean that. There is noone else whom I can say all this to.<br>Big hug to you all. Love Gracexx<br><br>PS Lisa, of course you are not a fake coming on here. You like us all have been through so much and it is important that you can share things with us.x.