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A Eulogy for my Baby Angel

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A Eulogy for my Baby Angel

Postby angel222 » Thu Feb 08, 2007 12:21 pm

Hi. I am new here. I recently lost my baby last feb 1. she was 15 wks old. i created a eulogy for my baby because i want the world to know about her. i just wanted to share it with anybody interested. writing it helped me ease the pain. thank you and good luck to all of us wanting and waiting for a child.

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Angel Luz

It is the most beautiful name in the world. It is the name of a prayer that commemorates the Annunciation; it is also the name of our beautiful baby.

Baby Angel was conceived thru invitro-fertilization. We know it is not the traditional way of conceiving a child. A lot of people may even think she was conceived by science, not by love, not by God. But we beg to disagree. We sacrificed and went thru so many things to have her– weekly ultrasounds, daily injections, blood tests. If that is not love, then we don’t know what is. Along with most of you, , we said a million and one prayers for the procedure to be successful. And with God’s mercy our Baby Angel was conceived. We’ve never been so happy hearing the words ‘Congratulations! You’re pregnant’. After 4 years of waiting, our dream finally came true.

It wasn’t an easy journey though. Two days after we were told of the good news, a downfall… My hormone levels didn’t increase as much as it should have. This could mean that our baby’s not growing. We prayed sooo hard for my pregnancy to continue. And with God’s grace, it did. My hormone levels increased and we were on our way to becoming parents.

It was an emotional rollercoaster from then on. The day after Thanksgiving, I started bleeding. I was sure I’ve lost my baby! But miracle of miracles, she was still there. God saved her… My baby held on. Weeks started to progress and the pregnancy looked good. What a joy it was to hear her heartbeat and see her first movements! But then I started bleeding again. I’ve been at the emergency room twice; one even involved a 911 call. There was a time we were told we lost her. That really broke our hearts only to be informed that our baby was still alive the very next day. We thought we would lose our minds. But at the end of the day, our baby was alive! That’s what mattered most. She was a miracle baby.

Our baby was a fighter. She held on to me as long as she could. She was 15 weeks old when I gave birth to her. At this point, we still don’t know why it happened. We don’t know if there is a medical explanation or if it simply was just her time… No words can express how much we want to have her in our arms. What we would give up to hear her first laugh, to see her first steps, to just embrace her and smell her. Only God knows. But God has other plans for her. God needed an angel. And even if it hurts like crazy, we have to let go.

Our Baby Angel is now in heaven. She has all the toys we can ever imagine. She has Tita Annie watching over her, Kuya Lee playing with her, and most specially God’s love surrounding her all the time. What more can any parent ask for? That’s what we are – parents.

We were able to hold her in our arms. We saw her beautiful face. She was sooo pretty. She looked so peaceful. It was almost as if she was born with wings. She was born an angel. I am a mother, Leo’s a father and nobody can ever take that away from us. Even if we have a dozen kids after this, she will always be special, she is our first born.

Baby Angel, baby Angel, mommy and daddy miss you so much. We know that you had a very good reason why you had to go. You saved us from more pain, from making decisions that we probably could never live with. Thank you Baby Angel. Just keep on playing, keep on laughing. We know you are happy and safe in Heaven.

Although Mommy and Daddy are hurting, we will always be thankful to God for giving us our Angel. We would never stop loving you. You may not have had the chance to live on earth but we promise to keep your memory alive. Your passing will not be in vain. We have become better people. You’ve taught us to be stronger, to have faith and to love each other more. That is your legacy. Fly Baby Angel, fly. In God’s time, we will be able to touch your face, smother you with kisses and hold you in our arms again…
angel222
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Postby adbwifey0804 » Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:12 pm

its beautiful.. it brought tears to my eyes...
IVF/ICSI#1 in Nov 2006!
BFP but sadly lost our baby at 8w4d...

March FET!!! 4 frozen 6 day blasts!
adbwifey0804
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Hi

Postby gori » Wed Mar 05, 2008 4:06 pm

Hi Angel222, what a moving eulogy! I cried a lot reading it. I could relate to all your sentiments. What a devasting experience!! May God give you the peace & inner strength to deal with this ordeal and move on. May your arms be filled with a beautiful baby soon. That might help overcome some pain, even though it can never go away. Just a question, you said, your angel was 15 weeks old when you delivered. Did you miscarry at 15 weeks of pregnancy or did your baby have a sudden demise at 15 weeks after normal delivery? The reason I ask is that I miscarried last year at 15 weeks of pregnancy. They did a D&C for me. I could not look at the baby or for that matter know if it was a boy or a girl? That could also be because I was told that I actually miscarried at 12 weeks but did not know until 15 weeks [my bleeding started at 15 weeks]. So if the baby was only measuring 12 weeks, then they could not have shown it to me [may be too small]. I try not to think about it too much as it brings back too many sad memories, but I would have liked to know if it was a boy or a girl & may be even see my angel one time.
Any info, would be great. Did you have a D&C? I don't want to ask you too many questions to bring back those sad thoughts, but would like to know.
Thanks! And again, you are in my thoughts & prayers!!
gori
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