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2 miscarriages - hope required

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2 miscarriages - hope required

Postby lolajones » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:21 pm

Hi ladies

Sorry to bring such a negative thread.
I found out today at my 12 weeks nuchal scan that my baby had died. This is my second missed miscarriage. I am numb and all cried out.

Does anyone have any stories of women of my age where they had multiple miscarriages but went on to have children? A ray of light would be really welcome at the moment.

Best Wishes

Lola
me 39 dh 41
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
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Postby kholtan » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:37 pm

I am soooo sorry for what you are going through. There aren't words to help you feel better but I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Some hopefully helpful words are that one of my dearest girlfriends had 5 miscarriages before now having 4 children. Luckily they found the reason(her body didn't make enough progesterone) and fixed it but she never gave up hope and I hope you don't either.

You will have your babyone day so stay positive and lean on all of us!

Take care~
Kimberly
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com

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Postby JustinesBaby » Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:28 pm

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Last edited by JustinesBaby on Sun May 11, 2008 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby FionaA » Thu May 01, 2008 5:02 am

Lola I am so very sorry for your loss, it is truly awful.

I can only say that I have a couple of friends who have had two miscarriages before succesfully giving birth. In both cases there was no reason given for the miscarriages. Just one of those things.

I have in the past looked up the stats and I think it is pretty well accepted that multiple miscarriages do not greatly reduce your odds of carrying a baby to term. There are just so many factors involved with miscarriages that there may not necessarily be an underlying problem stopping you carrying a baby to term but rather a problem with each preganncy so far. As far as I know the problem usually chromasomal which is something that happens in heaps of pregnancies for women who go on to have healthy children.

Once again I am sorry for your loss and i hope that you can summon up the resources to try again.

Fee
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Postby Vickyp » Fri May 02, 2008 11:56 am

Hi Lola

I have responded on the November thread as well. I am so so sorry for your tragic loss. I have had two MC in the last 9 months and have read loads about this but everything I have read seems to say the same - that no one really knows why this happens. I have spoken to several people who have had multiple MC's and have been investigated but the results have not shown any reason for this. I am now of the opinion that in most cases either we are not yet medically advanced enough to be able to detect the problem or that it is indeed just very bad luck and there has been something genetically wrong.

I have also met 2 ladies who both had 4 miscarriages and followed by 1 and 3 children respectively.

I am now 7 wks pregnant again and am feeling very apprehensive. My consultant is Stuart Lavery at Hammersmith (same as you I think). I went to see him after my second MC (both of these pregnancies were incredibly natural) to see if he had any ideas - he said he wld not recommend testing until after a third. I asked whether he thought I should/could take progesterone supps if I got pregnant again (I have read that this can be a cause) - he said it certainly wouldn't do any harm. So this time I asked my GP to prescribe these and we'll see what happens.

I know nothing can make you feel better at the moment but this is not end. I am sure that this does not necessarily mean that you have some underlying problem and you are great at getting pregnant. Take Care of yourself and have a break and I'm sure that you will have a baby soon. Love Vicky
Me 35, DH 36
4 X IVF, I X FET - positive - baby boy born April 06
2 x MC in 2007 at 6wks & 12wks
Nat preg Mar 08 - Girl

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Postby nicaliw » Fri May 02, 2008 8:24 pm

I'm so sorry about your losses. I have endured the pain of only one very early miscarriage so I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are going through. I'd like to offer a a story of inspiration.......
A good friend of mine went through multiple IUIs to become pregnant and became pregnant for many of them but miscarried 8 times before becoming pregnant with her now 2 year old son. What's more interesting about her story is the fact that the successful cycle wasn't with her RE just with her regular OBGYN and her doc recommended cancelling the cycle because there was only one follicle. Well, it turns out that one little follicle became her only child. Its also because of this friend that I went ahead with my most recent cycle despite being adviced by my RE to cancel the cycle and did get a BFP.......however I am very cautious after already having 1 misscariage just 5 months ago. Anyway, anything is possible.
I wish there was some way to ease your pain. One day you will hold your baby in your arms then all the times you picked yuorself back up and started again will feel worth it.
FET April 18th
1st heartbeat 6w3d 115bpm, 9w2d hb 171bpm
MATTHEW ARRIVED DEC 19TH....8 lbs 9.7 OZ
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Postby Tracii » Sat May 03, 2008 6:27 pm

Lola - I am so, so, so, so sorry. I know no words which will help - except to never, ever,ever give up. I have a friend who had 5 miscarriages and then gave birth to a beautiful girl. I also had nightmares of cycles - with also 2 follicles after 28 days of stimulation with sucess. - I was the one who shoveld snow (and lots of it!) after transfer because I had no hope. Your dreams will come true and keep fighting.

Big, big hugs, Traci
Traci
me37,DH49
IUI 01/05:-
1. IVF - 04/05: -
2. IVF -cancelled -preg nat-m/c 5w3d
3. IVF -success
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Postby Smita » Sun May 04, 2008 5:07 am

Lola,
I'm really sorry you are going through this nightmare..I can only send you hugs over cyberspace.
Its really not fair.

Many hugs,
smita
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
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Postby lolajones » Mon May 05, 2008 10:15 am

Hello

Thank you for your replies.
The last few days have been so strange, I'm so tired and a bit out of it really.
You are right, the stats are good for up to 2 miscarriages.
I had all the tests after my first m/c last year. It showed that dh has a chromosomal abnormality (we call it the super hero gene). We saw a geneticist and his parents also had tests and the outcome was that, on balance, this issue would not necessarily cause m/c or foetal abnormalities but it could (no definitely in this world). Therefore they didn't recommend PGD or invasive foetal testing. Now this has happened again, maybe the advice will be different. I had an ERPC on friday and asked that they test the baby (karyotyping) so at least it will give more information and help us decide what to do next.
Vicky - I have everything crossed that you'll be fine this time. I'm also with Mr L.
Nicaliw - I hope everything works out for you, look after yourself x

All the best
Lola
me 39 dh 41
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
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Postby Cla » Tue May 06, 2008 10:48 am

Oh Lola,

I've only just seen your post and am absoluted gutted for you. Would love to say something to make you feel better, but I'm not sure what that is. Just know that there are lots of people here thinking of you and sending their love.

Take care.
Cla
xx
Me: 35 DP : 38
1st time IVF - Aug/Sept 05 -ve
FET - Jan 06 - BFP!!!
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Postby sharishu » Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:10 pm

Lola,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but know that it will all get better. My sister also had 2 miscarriages, and she had the problem of low progesterone plus hypothyroidism which was left undetected. After she corrected the thyroid issue, she went on to have 3 healthy children (she also required progesterone supplementation to support the low amount she produced naturally). Something you may want to check, once you feel up to it. I also have a good friend who has four kids. She had 5 miscarriages altogether. The point of me telling you this is just to let you know that you can definitely undergo multiple miscarriages and still go on to have healthy children. May all your future pregnancies be successful ones! Take it easy, and I hope you feel better soon.

Shari
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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