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Need advice !!!

Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

Need advice !!!

Postby nicolad » Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:21 pm


I Was an avid user of this site, oh nearly 4 years ago when me and hubby where going through the IVF process, we where given the painfull news that i could no longer continue with the treatment as i wasnt responding well , more that my egg suppy was very low, they managed to get one on the 1st go, but that wasnt good enough, then half way through our 2nd try it was stopped by the doctor, will just explain my postion, i had a kidney txp 25yrs ago and at the time of the tmt i think this was putting pressure on the kidney and after a year after stopping ivf my kidney failed and im now back on a txp waiting list, which is even harder than doing ivf as i just dont know when that call will happen, been on the list over 12mths now, anyway im sure i will get lucky again but i wanted to know is that i did make enquires about adoption and was told i would have to wait until ive had the new kidney and a year after that, well im 41 and half now and im so desperate, well both me and hubby are so ready to be parents as you all have experienced when friends and family inform you that they are to be parents each one like a knife through your heart, also being married 6 yrs.
Has anyone had a medical condition and been told a similar thing, what i dont understand is why cant we go through the 1st but of it, get on the books so to speak, i know i spend 3 times a week on a dam machine, but i also spend 5 mornings a week at work, i can fend for myself, cook clean look after a house and a husband, ha ha !!! take care of my dog which has becomme our baby and have turned him soft, im not bedridden or been very ill, i feel its so unfair, any advice will help me enormously.

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Location: cheshire


Postby Alette » Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:55 pm

Hi Nicole,

I am sorry, I do not have advice, but I want to let you know that I think it is really UNFAIR that you may not be on the list.

I slightly understand why: your condition could worsten. But this reason is so unfair and not right.

Every time, this struggle, this struggle for 'treatment', this struggle for what you think is right... what ís right...

Can you ask the specialist why this rule is?
Can they motivate?
Can you give motivation back?
Will they reconsider?

I know this timepressure....

I am sorry about your kidneycondition, hope there will be a transplant soon for you.

All the best!!
after lots of IUI, 4 FETs and 5 IVF's
a babyboy!
Posts: 286
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 12:51 pm

Postby Vickyp » Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:58 pm

Hi Nicola

What a dreadful situation to be in - and I agree how ridiculously frustrating! I know very little about adoption but I did look into it at one point though and I was going to ask whether you have been told this by your local adoption society (I believe you can go through the council) or whether you have called other adoption agencies such as the Catholic Children Society. I wondered if different groups have different rules. As you say it seems crazy that you can't at least get the admin part of it over paricularly as I believe this can take up to a year.

Sorry not be of more help and good luck with your treatment and your adoption process. Love Vicky
Me 35, DH 36
4 X IVF, I X FET - positive - baby boy born April 06
2 x MC in 2007 at 6wks & 12wks
Nat preg Mar 08 - Girl

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Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2005 1:44 pm
Location: Devizes

Postby nicolad » Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:11 pm


Just want to say thank you for your replies and support, im in the proceeds of trying a few adoption agencies to see if any differ in there recommendations to adopt, life is so unfair but it does get me mad when they are crying out for people, i know that my condition could get worse but im getting good treatment and if i keep with the same outlook on life then i can stay well, just been with all my family last weekend at a cousins wedding and some had not seen for a long time and everyone was telling me how well i look, which is quite frustrating as when i sit there hooked up to a machine for 4hrs i dont feel it, anyway blah blah.
i will keep pushing and hopefully my hard work will pay off, it has to !!!

good luck to all
nicky xx
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Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:06 pm
Location: cheshire

Postby nicolad » Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:55 pm

Well i made enquires about adoption in my position and only one came back and said they would do a telephone interview, most of them said the same, that with my health the way it is they cant consider me, no great big shock but still hard all the same, now feel like im going back wards, one agency said that i have to wait to have the transplant then wait a while longer to see how i do, god that could be, well there is a 2yr wait, have been on the list 14mths already but all depends on the match but there is big chance it could be a lot longer, why is life so cruel, its times like this i question who is really up there !!!!

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Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:06 pm
Location: cheshire

Re: Need advice !!!

Postby Shiella » Sat May 17, 2014 3:52 am

I know how it felt, before I discovered the natural way on treating infertility. I am a mom too and we are now planning to have our second baby. And I know how stressful being infertility is and now I am 29.And yet I can’t afford to take infertility drugs because I am afraid of their side effects and money tight. As much as possible I would like to use natural method on dealing my infertility. I got luck when my friend introduces to me this http://bit.ly/1lxtMqe.And its working on me. I am now in my 2 months pregnancy.

Hope that this is helpful to you.
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Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 2:51 am

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