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My very long story.

Forum for those who have lost their babies through miscarriage, neonatal or stillbirth.

My very long story.

Postby Faith0710 » Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:16 am

I got married when I was 19 years old, just a few months after getting married I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying since a few months before getting married and I had gotten a little exhausted with it and given up for the holidays. It was close to christmas when I found out and I was so happy. I was very paranoid the whole time but felt relieved when I passed the 12 week mark. I had a few complications while I was pregnant.
On May 1st 2004 I went out to eat and noticed the baby was jumping, something similar had happened once before and the doctor said it was hiccups and that was a good sign. A bit later she settled down and I went to sleep. The next morning I awoke and ate breakfast, she normally went crazy after this but no movement. I immediately became scared but my ex-husband informed me I was paranoid. I felt no movement the rest of the day and around 6pm I couldn't take it anymore, I called the doctor and was informed to go to the hospital. My ex-husband refused to go because he insisted I was over-reacting. When I arrived at the hospital a heartbeat could not be detected using a doppler, nor a mobile ultrasound machine. One of the nurses was palpatating my abdomen and said she felt the baby kick, I went into hysterics because I already knew things were all wrong and I hadn't felt a kick. They moved me into a ultrasound room where they did a detailed ultrasound and took photos, the nurse then informed me that the baby's heart was not beating. This was the hardest moment of my life. I have never felt so much pain inside before or since. I was given medicines to sedate me and start contractions and dilate my cervix. The next day marked week 28 and sometime around 1pm on May 3rd 2004 I delivered a still born baby girl I named Izabella Grace. She was 14 inches long and weighed 1lb 14 ounces. She had my nose and my big feet and was going to have her dads ears. The following sunday was mothers day and I didn't leave the house. I didn't leave the house for 2 months because I didn't want to explain to people who didn't know what had happened. The month before the 1st anniversary of her death I found out my husband was having an affair with my older sister. I found out October of '06 they had a baby boy and then on Christmas of '06 I saw him breifly, he looked like my baby girl. I don't understand sometimes why things happen the way they do but I understand that everything has a reason. God loves babies and those of us who have lost them were chosen by God. I try to believe that we are all part of a special angelic group, theres only one soul that could love our babies more than us and thats who is taking care of them now. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone!
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Postby DeniseM » Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:37 am

Hugs and prayers. That sounds like a very painful story. I hope you find your silver lining.
IUI twins ~ July 2006
IUI singleton ~ due Jan 15 2009
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Postby tris22 » Fri Aug 08, 2008 9:40 pm

I wish the best to you!!!!
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Postby amysbabies » Sat Aug 09, 2008 12:49 am

I'm so sorry that you had to experience such a terrible thing. I can't imagine how you must of felt at the time.... I hope you are well now and doing better. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage to fight through something like that, and reading your story I feel like you have that strength.
Sometimes God takes us down a bumpy, scary path and I believe there is always a reason why...everything happens for a reason because he has a plan for us all. All we have to do is trust in him and not be afraid.
IVF1: BFP 02/08 - Chemical 4 wks.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.
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