I am late to post but hopefully you may still see.
In the UK, we can only pay costs incurred to a surrogate, nothing more. Just reasonable expenses. It is audited after the birth to ensure that the surrogate has not done it for money. Know it differs by country.
We paid the costs of Frozen cycle as we had our own embies already. With all the drugs, scans and bloods it must have cost around £3,000 (but we are at the most expensive clinic in the UK). We also paid quite a lot of travel costs as we wanted my fab sister - who also happens to be our surrogate - to be treated at 'our' clinic in London. My sister does not work so we had no loss of income, but some people need to pay that too which can be the most expensive element of the process.
We have paid for councelling and legal fees too. People said to allow £10,000 but I think that in our case it could be less than £5,000.
Plus now - luckily - we are/will be paying for things like maternity clothes. Plus thank you gifts for my sister!
We have offered her help at home but so far she has refused.
PM me if I can help answer any more surrogacy questions as I know that we form a rather unique group of ivf-ers. It really is an extraordinary additional journey, on top of the ivf roller coaster.
I hope that your story gets the dream ending. My signature gives a sense of what he have been through & where we managed to get to thanks to a top clinic and my dear sister!!
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP