How long to wait for # 2??

by **almondeyes26** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:00 am

Just wanted to get some opinions on what others think is a good space between children. I'm kind of on a time crunch. My DS is 7 months old and I'm trying to think of when to start ttc again. Anyone have children close in age that can give me some insight?

Thanks

by **gina1234** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:48 pm

I DONT HAVE CHILDREN, BUT YOU ARE YOUNGER THAN ME. SO IF U CAN DO IT THEN GO DO IT, BUT IF U THINK U NEED A BREAK MAYBE U SHOULD WAIT.....I HAVE A BIG FAMILY & MY COUSIN WHO IS 30 HAD HER FIRST WHEN SHE WAS 25 & SHE WAITING AWHILE BECAUSE SHE HAD ALOT OF THINGS GOING ON WITH HER LIFE A NEW HOUSE, THE NEWBORN & HER FAMILY WHICH IS ALSO BIG... SO SHE WAITED FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS AND SHE WAS HAPPY SHE DID, BECAUSE HER SON WAS POTTY TRAINED & WAS GOING TO START NURSEY SCHOOL SO THAT DURING THE DAY SHE COULD SPEND TIME WITH THE NEW BABY & NOT IGNORE HE SON, (NOT THAT SHE WOULD) BUT TO HAVE A NEW BORN & ANOTHER LITTLE BABY WOULD BE ALOT OF WORK...SO GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT U DECIDE TO DO.....

by **almondeyes26** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:00 pm

Thanks for the opinion! I am young but dear hubby is not and I can understand him not wanting to wait long if we choose to have #2. It's a hard decision to make! I don't want to take away from my little man but I want him to have a sibling!! I have some thinking to do! :shock:

by **gina1234** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:02 pm

is there any problems with dh? because even through he is getting older he still has time because men are different then women...here look at it this why hugh hefner which i think is older than 65 has a child that is about 15 so & he had him around his 50 so if he could do it then anyone can i guess...plus a friend of my her and he dh had a child just recent & he is 48 she is 38.......anyway g2g back to work i will check to see if u posted anything back

gina

by **almondeyes26** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:27 pm

There are no problems with DH but he doesn't want to be "too old". I also think that losing his dad at a young age plays a role in this. I know Hugh Hefner has kids but I think it's different when your a millionaire and finances aren't an issue. I'm looking for some advice and personal stories, anybody out there??

by **gina1234** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:30 pm

i hope u didnt take the hugh heffer thing the wrong way...i was trying to help out if u did see i also said something regarding my friend that her dh was 48 & she was 38 they have a 3 yr old and a newborn & she said she was glad that she waiting because he is now potty trained & going into nursey school soon...anyways good luck in getting the advice u want & again if u took it the wrong way sorry...have a great weekend

by **Mandy J** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:57 pm

Obviously it would be hard work having two so close together, but is that such a bad thing? There are loads of marvellous women on here with twins and triplets...who manage and are totally exhausted and frazzled but are overwhelmed with love....why should it be any tougher than that?

As for age, my DH is 54 yrs and we would possibly consider another in a few years time, we are not mega rich, in fact we just get by at the moment, I think the amount of love he gives our little girl far out weighs any 'possibility' of not being around when she is older. At any age there are no guarantees in life, some people die young , some old its what we do with our life while we are here that counts.....

So therefore the issue is really would a 2nd baby fill your life more and make it more complete...or do you have all the love you need in your one lovely child.

Good luck with your decision

Mandy
x

by **almondeyes26** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:29 pm

I didn't mean to sound defensive, sorry if that's how it came out! It's just such a big decision it stresses me out! I also don't know how long it will even take to get pregnant this time. I'm just such a planner and not having complete control drives me nuts :roll:

Thanks for the input! I welcome more!!

by **Susie** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 4:22 pm

I have 2 children who are 5 years different in age. The age difference is good for me because I got 5 years alone with my daughter then when my son was born my daughter was at school so i got quality time with him too.
As far as the children go i dont think the age difference is good. They fight, there is constant jelousy, if my dd leaves anything lying around my ds breaks it. We have 1 TV in the lounge but they obviously cant both watch what they want. With hindsight i would have had them straight after each other. My DH is 49 now and although youthful i worry about what if my ds goes to uni, my dh will be retired!
My advice is to have 2 close together, but then again you may hear from someone who has 2 close in age that also dont get on.
Good luck whatever you decide.
HTH
Susie

by **riogirl71** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 5:15 am

I am going to try again when I am done bfeeding so at about 8 mos after having DS, but my DH has issues and I am older than you, 37. So I don't want to wait too long. It will be hard having 2 babies but worth it!

by **almondeyes26** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:22 am

Thank you ladies! I think we may start trying in January, that would make my son 19 months if it happened right away which I really doubt. If nothing happens by June we'll head on back to the fertility doctors. I really hope we won't have too!! Thanks again ladies!!! :wink:

by **hlloyd** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:08 am

Hi, just wanted to let you know that any age gap is workable! My DS was 14 months old when DD was born and although it is hard work I am sure we will get to a point where it will be fabulous having them so close together in age. Oh, and breastfeeding made no difference to our odds of becoming pregnant...DD was a surprise!

Best of luck to you.

Cheers
Heather

by **Warren Dew** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:26 am

For the children, I think any gap is okay; I'm 14 months older than my brother and my wife is 4 years older than her sister, and we are both very close to our siblings.

We're facing the same thing right now; we had our first child in June after four years of trying, and we don't want to wait too long for the second. She's 38 with endometriosis and IVF chances start going down pretty fast around 40; I'm 48 and wouldn't mind living to see grandchildren. For us, the hurdle is that she has to quit breastfeeding before we try IVF again.

by **teachertam** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:41 am

Our DS is 20 months old and we are going to try for #2 using our frozen eggs in December. We have 4 frozen eggs left from our last IVF. Since I am 44 and DH is 46, we feel it is either now or never. If I do get lucky and get pregnant using our frozen eggs, our DS will be 2.5 years old when the baby is born. Hopefully, he will be potty-trained by then.

Heather: Nice to hear from you. How are you doing? The kids are adorable. I am having the HSG x-ray this coming Monday and then we will proceed with the frozen cycle beginning around Thanksgiving.

Tammy

by **almondeyes26** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:55 pm

Thank you! It was nice to read all the responses. My DS is 8 1/2 months old and I think we have officially begun trying. It would make him at least 18 months old and really what are the odds that I'd get pregnant right away anyway! It took 4 years and 6 months of fertility treatments the first time. My plan is to wait till spring and if nothing happens then head on back to the fertility doctors. It was nice to hear encouragement as these decisions are always tough! Thank You all again!

How long to wait for # 2??

How long to wait for # 2??

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