IVF over 40 Buddy Group........Membership Drive

by **Liam'sMommy** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:36 pm

Hello ladies, i would like to try and get a buddy group going for ladies over 40. I just found this site today. I have been on ivf connections but not a lot of activity among the AMA set.

I am 42 and will be starting ivf in Jan. I am going to SIRM in St. Louis and will be using Dr. Ahlering. I will be doing staggered ivf using CGH. There will be 3 retrieval cycles. Embryos that make it to day 5 for freeze will have their biopsies sent for CGH. It will take about 8 weeks for the results. I will do a FET sometime after my 3rd retrieval. That is if i have any normal embryos.

Dr. Sher told me that at my age i have 1/10 normal eggs. He also said that more than 50% of the retrievals will have all abnormals. It is a long shot but my husband and i have finally decided that we don't want to look back with regret because we didn't try. Now we just have to figure out how to pay for it. :shock:

I hope to have some buddies to go through this process with. Baby Dust to all.

Kelly

by **Renee Del Ponte** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:24 am

by **Liam'sMommy** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 1:28 pm

Good morning Renee, well it is morning for me. It is 8:20 a.m. I was so happy to see your post. So are you doing another retrieval/transfer cycle in Dec. or are you doing a FET?

Kelly

by **hackney** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 1:50 pm

Good Morning Ladies,

Not quite 40 but closing in on it quickly. I have been TTC for 2 years with no luck. I am currently waiting on my BETA for my 2nd round on IVF; I have my BETA on Tuesday and about to just lose my mind in this 2WW. I transferred 2 2BB blast on the 18th. I was able on this round to have 2 blast making it to the freezer. So, if by some chance I we get the BFN again, we will try again. Can't very well leave my blasts in that freezer alone - LOL.

So, let me ask since I have not really seen anyone discuss on the board, is the cost of IVF stressing anyone out but me? In the 2 years of TTC, we have spend out of pocket about 40k, the other day I just broke into tears when I added it up. The DH and I are totally going for broke. I guess if you get the BFP then the money doesn't matter and it is all worth. But my goodness it is still amazing.

Ok, I have rambled enough for now.

~Helen

by **NY4thtry** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:56 pm

Hi guys

Im in..currently undergoing number 5 on stims this week.. first US with DR Sher monday..

At this age its definately a numbers game.. i had my file reviewed by a very famous israeli Dr and he came back and said yu WILL get pregnant with IVF you just have to keep trying .. so here we are with #5

As for the expense. no kidding .. we are in over 100k at this point.. my insurance covers nothing

but it will be worth it in the end

I am with DR Sher in NY...my first cycle with him

NY

by **Much Hope** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:58 pm

Hello Ladies:

I am at Sher in NYC, this is our 2nd cycle, I am 41 and very excited this time around. Our last cycle was an LA10 protocol with 750 units of Gonal that only produced 4 follies none making it past day 3.

DH has low count and I have poor ovarian reserve so we decided to use a donor. We however did not go through the center, we found someone we new, she is 21 and has a beautiful 2 yrs son. Her 3 day FSH was 4.2. ER will be either 10/29 or 10/30. We are still however doing PGD to ensure healthy embies. So ET will be either 11/3 or 11/4. I will keep you posted.

I look forward to taking this journey with all of you wonderful wowen. It is so important to have people that understand what you are going through to talk too.

Much baby dust to all
Elida

by **natashamom** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:43 pm

Hi ladies!

I turned 46 in July and going for ivf in December with embryo from 24y.o egg.

I do have 2 kids,girl 21.boy,11.

Good luck to all of us!

Natasha,me:46,dh:52,AZ,U/SA.

by **Liam'sMommy** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 9:02 pm

Awesome to see you all. I didn't expect this many ladies so soon. I am very pleasantly surprised.

HELEN, your first beta is on Tuesday. That is so exciting but i know you are on pins and needles. I don't understand the grading system and i really have not tried to figure it out because i will be doing cgh. But from what i recall just surviving to blast is a great sign. Given you are still young and have a considerable percentage of good eggs left i think you have good odds. Since you are officially PUPO i am sending tons of sticky vibes your way!!!

NY, We have no coverage either. I think only a very lucky few do. Are you doing stagger with cgh or pgd? I believe the doctor is correct. It is just about finding a good egg before you run out of ways to pay for cycles. We are going to start putting the max we can in my husband's health savings account then use that to pay for part of the costs. So part of it will be paid for with pretax dollars. We are also going to get a no interest for 1 year credit card and charge the 3 retrieval/banking cycles package on that. Hopefully the stock market will have a brief upswing after the presidential election then we will cash out some other investments. If any body has any other tricks please share them.

ELIDA and NATASH, your transfers are both just around the corner. I guess you both are using donor eggs but your husband's sperm. That may be what i end up doing. But i may be so burnt emotionally and financially after this ordeal that i adopt instead. Only time will tell.

RENEE, hi again.

It looks like everybody i way ahead of me. I will be watching you all closely and cheering you on. More Sticky Vibes to Helen and Baby Dust to everybody else.

Kelly

by **NY4thtry** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:39 pm

i did pgd my first two cycles and more than 50% of the embryos were PGD normal so no we are not going to do PGD or CGH.. wont really improve our chances and with PGD they are manipulating the embryos so....

I am going to be interested to see how i respond this time since the protocol is soo different than what we did before.. I also had an intrlipid infusion.... and have been doing ap with electrical stimulation

first US monday cant wait to see how many follies.. i have my fingers crossed

by **Liam'sMommy** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 2:04 am

Wow, 50% normal. I would kill for that. But at my age it if a fantasy. So you would be doing a staggered cycle to get the uterus is prime condition for transplant or what? I know nothing. And the stimulation is for what and the lipids are for what? Sorry so many questions. I just don't have time to have my learning cycles on myself. I have to learn from others past cycles and try to get my doc to implement things that have worked for others if appropriate. I can't wait to hear about your results.

Kelly

by **natashamom** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 4:44 am

Hi Liam`s mommy,

No,this would be with 2 donated embryos so it won`t be with hubby`s sperm,we couldnt afford egg donor,too expensive.

I was on the embryo donor list for 5 years!!I did want same features as ours,blond/blue so needed to wait a little more...

The eggs from the embryos created are from a 24y.o donor that was proven success and the other lady that used this donor eggs got pregnant first time with twin boys although it was a fresh cycle and ours will be frozen.

Wish us all the luck!

Natasha.

by **Renee Del Ponte** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 5:14 am

by **lynniecat** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 5:51 am

Hi Kelly,

I am 42 and about to start IVF number 4. I have few follicles each round so its a numbers game for me. IVF 1 got me pregnant with twins. One only made it to 7 weeks. The other was normal by CVS, but I lost her at 14 weeks or so due to a massive lupus flare. So now its just about trying to get there again and being on the right meds to prevent a lupus flare.

IVF 2 was a total dud (IVF 1 and 2 were on the flare protocol). I had just lost the second twin and was on a lot of supposedly safe meds. Prednisone, plaquenil, two blood pressure meds and a pain med PLUS massive amount of Vitamin D! So maybe the meds caused the really poor quality ???

IVF 3 (Antagon) produced two perfect embryros, but a difficult transfer due to a very thick lining, and a BFN. Was it the transfer or the embryos, I do not know.

Anyhow, I am about to try a estrogen priming protocol. I personally believe with enough rounds I will get lucky again, but money is an issue here. The first three rounds were paid by insurance, but only three round are allowed. So its out of my very skinny wallet right now. I am trying to get on DH's insurance (I left my job so that qualifies for an open enrollment at his job). One of the other plans (not his current one) pays up to 10K for IVF. Not a lot but not zero!

If this does not work, I will likely try egg donation. No sisters, but 3 female cousins (37, 35 and 15). Obviously the 15 year old is too young and the others may be too old. I am trying to come up with a plan for the future so I do not freak with another BFN. I have not talked with the twp older cousins since I was 9!!! However, one of them looks just like me and the other shares a lot of my personality. DH thinks none of this matters and is fine with whatever we do (adoption, anonymous donors, known donors, etc). His sister was adopted and he has a very open mind to how children come into your life! My brother's wife has also offered, but she is 38 going on 39. Sigh, so still trying to figure it all out.

I am currently waiting for my LH flare...after that I count 10 days and start on an estrogen patch. Last time I though "3 times a charm", but this time I decided I can not count the first time since it really did work for getting my pg, so now I say its really 3 times a charm! So I hope this round is it for me! I just want to be having that baby already

So in a large nut shell that is my story! I think there are a lot of women our age doing IVF...I was married 8 years before we decided it was time to have children. Before that we were just enjoying life. But as we all know, its harder as you get older. I guess I just was not realizing how difficult this would be! We stared trying IVF last fall at 41.

Anyhow, here is to hoping all us gals have our babies really soon. And Kelly, I totally know what you mean about having regrets. My OB said that women who are on the fence about having kids and then do not almost always have regrets, those who knew they never wanted them do not have regrets. I always wanted kids, but not just yet. I pushed it to the limit and now I am dealing with my actions!

So after all that! Count me on in!

by **wishfull27** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 7:23 am

I ladies - I am 40 in a week - but am away on holiday from today :lol:

- so when I next log on I will be 40 so can i join the group please???

Have had two failed IVF - low response to stims and male factor - now just sorting out next cycle with ED - have appointment at clinic in Spain on 15th December and am waiting list at clinic in UK for ED.

Will catch up with all posts when i am back and officially '4'0' so allowed to join!!

We are off to airport now - got 2 weeks in Maldives as birthday present from wonderful DH - going to honeymoon island so you never know might come back with a natural BFP - highly unlikely but we can have fun trying :wink:

Love to all

Carolyn xxxx

by **Liam'sMommy** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 2:32 pm

Good morning everybody and welcome to the group lynniecat and Carolyn.

Lynniecat i am so sorry to hear about your devastating loss. I can't imagine going through that. This may be more than your SIL is willing to do but would she be willing to be the egg donor and surrogate. The only reason i say that is because of the lupus. I don't know what the odds are that you could have a flare during another pregnancy . I had my first child naturally without any effort when i was 40. That seems to pretty common from what i have seen. So i think she would still be your best bet since you really don't really know your cousins. Just brain storming. I hope i didn't offend you. Let me know if you want me to shut up.

Carolyn, i hope you have a wonderful time on your vacation and you come back a changed women. Pregnant with twins would be a nice way to top off a vacation i think.

I am going to type out a brief summary of where everybody. I will update it as necessary and repost it every once in awhile until we all get clear on where everybody is. I will probably get to it tomorrow.

Baby Dust to all !!!!!!!!!
Kelly