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only child topic - hope I didn't offend

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only child topic - hope I didn't offend

Postby zoegirl » Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:11 pm

Hi there - I hope I didn't offend anyone with my question about coming to grips with having only one child when they wanted more.

I know that many folks choose to have one child and are tired of being criticized for having only one, being asked when they are having #2 . . .

I also hope I didn't offend anyone who is themselves an only child . . .

Sometimes it is hard to put into words what you want to say in just the right way.

Zoe
Me 39, endo, high fsh, DH 41 ("super sperm")
One DS from IVF #1, born 10/23/07
EDD 9/1/11 but of course, we expect them to arrive early
Passed 1st tri screen w/flying colors! Level II went great! Fetal Echo on 5/9/11
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Postby Vickyp » Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:08 am

Hi Zoegirl

I'm sure you didn't offend anyone - I just had a look back at your originally message and see no one responded. I think there are just less replies on in this area as everyone has children so are too busy to respond as much.
I was really worried that I mioght only have one. I am lucky enough now to be pregnant with my second child but I spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if I could only have one. I did/do feel sure that only children do make close friends who compensate for not having siblings but lke you I was really keen to have at least two so they would have each other. Ultimately I realise that all of this reasoning is totally 'pie in the sky' as even if we could have children till the cows came home we still have no control over whether they will - get on with each other, live into adulthood etc.
I think I am now just trying to comes to terms with my ridiculously Idealistic mind and just be happy with with what I have now. I was always adamant that I would adopt if I only had one and even now may consider this. I would love to give a child the opportunity to be brought up in a happy family environment. I think it's just one of those topics where you have have to challenge your pre-concieved ideas - not easy I know! I wantedto respond as I didn't like to think of you at home feeling that you had offended anyone - I hope you're well and happy. Love VIcky
Me 35, DH 36
4 X IVF, I X FET - positive - baby boy born April 06
2 x MC in 2007 at 6wks & 12wks
Nat preg Mar 08 - Girl

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Postby zoegirl » Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:16 pm

Dear Vicky,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. It is much appreciated! I'm glad you think I did not offend anyone. Congrats on your pregnancy - not far to go now -- I wish you the best of luck.

You are right - even if we have as many as we want, there are still so many things we can't control . . . I want to focus on the good things I have now.

Zoe
Me 39, endo, high fsh, DH 41 ("super sperm")
One DS from IVF #1, born 10/23/07
EDD 9/1/11 but of course, we expect them to arrive early
Passed 1st tri screen w/flying colors! Level II went great! Fetal Echo on 5/9/11
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Postby tryw8 » Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:29 pm

Aw ... nah ...

I wasn't offended. My DH and I have been married for 5 years.
My DH and I are at peace with having our "miracle baby". We've come to grips that we were career oriented and we settled down later in life. I am 40 and my DH is 44. DH is planning to retire in 14 years.

We have been blessed with our one and only son. It took a long time to get there but we are truly happy.
Failed IUI
hysteroscopy/laparoscopy 1/07 (blocked tube,endo)
IVF 5/07 BFN
FET 11/07, BFP 12/07
07/31/2008 (508am) --> our son was born!

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Postby sweetmomi » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:04 pm

I am an only child and so is my mother. I did not mind too much growing up. However, now, I wish I had siblings, at least 1. Life gets lonely sometimes.
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Postby woodcliff » Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:15 pm

We had twins in April, so fortunately we don't have to face the question of an 'only' child...but I think that for so many families, finally having that one baby is such happiness that people generally don't get too hung up on having 'only one' ... they are happy to HAVE one! ;)

That said, if I were younger (I'm well into my 40s) I'd probably give it another go...

Best to all of you
8/17: BETA 475
8/20: BETA 1,680

TWINS!
Born April 3, 2008
37 weeks...
GORGEOUS boy and girl
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