Freaking out

[crescendo97]

Okay, ladies I'm officially getting freaked out about the twins. I'm thinking how I'm going to care for two little babies. Is anyone else getting scared at the prospect of having two babies at once? Dh is only taking one week from work and my mom coming for two weeks after so I will be on my own when they are three weeks old!!!!!!!!!

[sugabeanzs]

Crescendo97: I was there with you a few weeks back. After my girls got out of the NICU it was a whirlwind!!! I have reccomendateions for you! Get this book...NOW! It is called "Ready Or Not, Here We Come! An Experts Guide to first year with twins" By Elizabeth Lyons. You need this book! It is a life saver!

I will not lie, once everyone is gone it is hard. Really hard. But after awhile you get in a routine and it is better. If you need any advice I can do my best from what I know. Go on the thread Double Trouble on pregnant after treatment. Lots of help there. Also, if you are going to bottle feed I would try the Podee bottles so you can do them at the same time or prop holders for Boppies. It is hard to do babies when they are tiny like mine were and they did not have a good suck so I still have to do them one at a time for the most part.

It does get easier. You will not get a lot of sleep but you get used to it...kinda lol. It is such a joy though and they are lots of fun. Plus you get to brag to people with just one how much of a super mom you are! It will be ok!!!!

[woodcliff]

You WILL need help.
So, if anyone wants to give you a gift, or a baby shower, request 'help' ... find an agency people can give you $$$ toward using.

Seriously

baby stuff can be gotten cheap online or other places, but help? Hard to come by.

If your friends can't help, or you don't get the $$$ as a gift (but, I repeat ASK for either $$ towards a night nanny or $$ toward a food delivery service)...THEN, find a 'mommy's helper'
That is a high school girl or Jr high school girl you pay $10 or so per hour to...
Again, you WILL need help...so prepare now.
g'luck

[sugabeanzs]

lol you are probably more scared now! It is ok! I agree it would be nice to have help but I did not really have it minus one week. You kinda just get used to doing it on your own....it does get easier once you establish a routine.

[crescendo97]

Thanks ladies!!!!!!!!!!I'm trying to calm down but reality is crashing down.

[sugabeanzs]

It will be ok! Trust me! But really, go out and get the book and it will help you a lot! I know it did me and made me laugh at a few things also. It is possible to do on your own as I have to with my husband at work and he works 3AM-2PM shift so really when he is home he is still dead. Gotta love UPS lol. So it is possible and you work something out with a routine and you stick to it!

[beachbaby]

Hi Crescendo, hugs to you, take a deep breath and relax. As suga says once you are on your own you just get on with it and manage. The key is to get a routine which suits you and the babies from early on.
I was very poorly after having my twins and spent 10 days in hospital, the babies were released with my DH at 4 days old, bless him he was fantastic on his own all night at home then brought them to the hospital to spend the day with me all day.

I had help every day for 8 weeks but this was due to me being so ill as i was not allowed to lift anything, not even a bag of sugar, but from 8 weeks i just got on with it. We have a good routine and stick to it, even if we leave them with family they adhere to it and everyone is happy. My Sil has a single baby 6 weeks older than mine and my Mil hates looking after him as he has no routine, and he will just fall asleep at night with no warning due to this then they complain as he wakes in the night hungry!!!

Good luck to you and cherish every minute, they grow so fast.

beachbaby

[boobooday]

I had twins and we had no help, I have no family or friends nearby and and my husband took two weeks off but as I was in hospital for the first 10 days, I had to go it alone after 4 days. Then when they were a month old he abroad for a course for a week. As they were premature, they were on two hour feeds!

First and foremost YOU WILL BE OK, it may not seem like it at the time but you will manage. My tips would be:-

Newborns sleep around 18 hours a day.

Learn to ask and learn to say no. People will offer to babysit TAKE THEM UP ON IT. You don't have to go out, ask friends or neighbours to sit with the twins whilst you have a nap (chances are you won't be able to nap when they do - I've never met anyone who could) or have a long bubble bath. Learn to say no the relations who want to turn up when you are trying to settle them into a nap or want to wake them as they want to iss rush hour etc. If people offer to change or feed them, let them with twins an extra air of hands is always a help.

I would get as much organised now, so you don't have to make any of those daft trips to the shops for extra muslins or nappy cream or colic meds etc. when your husband goes back to work. Once you feel more confident you'll be bombing down the shops at the drop of a hat but those first few weeks are nerve wracking.

If you cannot afford full time/maternity help ( I couldn't) maybe you could afford a cleaner for a few hours a week. Its not so much money but it will make you feel on top of things, just budget for the first few months.

Don't bother dressing the babies, for the first 4 months my two lived in romper suits, easy to get on and off, sling them in the wash. Outfits for newborns are very sweet but oh so time consuming.

I only bathed my newborns every other day - they don't dirty and its less stress at the beginning. In factg I did one a day. As they got older and bigger and I got more confident it became every day as I could put them both in the bath. Now its a massive part of their evening routine and they love it.

If you are in the UK there is an organisation called family support (nothing to do with social services etc) which your health visitor can put you in touch with. I know of one lady, she has a 13 month daughter (not walking) and has just had twin girls and she is a single parent. They arrange simple things for her like helping her around the supermarket etc.

Good luck

Twins are hard work but just wonderful

[woodcliff]

wow, what a fabulous organization in the UK!

Seriously, if someone walks into your house, let them know they'll have a baby in their arms, a bottle in their hands, and a dirty diaper to eventually change.

If ANYONE asks what you want?
food
seriously...if people visit, tell them ahead of time that you'd like them to bring a meal. Could be a sandwich, could be a salad, could be a full-on casserole...

Bottom line: People serve YOU, YOU don't serve people during your post-baby days...g'luck