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Over 40s

Postby CarolineP » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:49 pm

Just thought I would start this thread in case there are any issue or information that are more related to the older parents.

Caroline P
Me 50 DH 57 - TTC 10 years
IVF July 04, Sept 04, Dec 04 all -ive
Mar 05 +ive - Amelia Leah born 30/11/05
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Postby children » Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:40 pm

Hi Caroline,

How is your daughter doing? I know that you are enjoying every minute with her.

I will be here with you, of course. We are getting more and more over 40 parents now and hopefully, they will join us soon.

we are currently doing potty training with our 20 month old daughter and she is doing great. She has been diaper free for two weeks now at daycare. I am going to write up a detailed post one day to share with everyone soon.

Other than that, we are expecting a son in three months. Will check back later, take care.

Yasmina
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
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Postby CarolineP » Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:32 pm

Hi Yasmina

We started potted training in mid July but DD was not intrested and stated very clearly that she wanted to keep her nappy. I was mortified and thought that I have waited too long to train her.

One day she asked to use Mummy's toilet, we invested in a padded training seat and foot stool and continued during the summber to get her dry/clean day and night. I used to keep the potty in the car for emergencies, which she would use if necessary.

It does all come together eventually, but there are a lot of mishaps (some very messy) along the way.

We have finally transferred DD into her 'big girls' bed - it seems all at once that we are losing so many of the baby things. To compensate she is giving no end of joy and laughter, we are currently making her outfit for her 1st pre-school Christmas play - she is a silver star!!

I do not get so much time to post, but it is nice to keep up with 'old friends' from time to time. Look forward to welcoming your son in the New Year.

Caroline P
Me 50 DH 57 - TTC 10 years
IVF July 04, Sept 04, Dec 04 all -ive
Mar 05 +ive - Amelia Leah born 30/11/05
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Potty training!

Postby children » Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:03 pm

Caroline,

We put our DD in her big bed at her 18-month and she loved it! Since she loved it so much, putting her to bed became the easiest thing to do every night. We just put her to bed, tuck her in, kiss her good night and say see her in the morning and then leave. She finds her best sleeping position (like a little dog) and sleeps right away. She has started to sleep alone in her own room since she was 4 months old and was never a fussing child anyways.

About potty training, my cousin's first daughter was potty trained before 2 years b'day, I believe. But the second one was not until almost 5! Everyone has his/her own pace and I know that you have already known this. I read online and the key is that the kid has to be interested in using potty and we cannot force them to do anything that they don’t like to do.

Having said above, I do want to summarize what we did for DD here.

1) Started to put DD on potty whenever we thought it’s time for a diaper change since she was 6 weeks! Yes, we did that at that early!

2) EVERYONE said I was crazy, but after seeing our DD peed and pooped most of the time I put her on the potty, they all shut up and did the same.

3) Take toilet adapter everywhere we go since she was 4 month old. She started to have a pooping pattern at that age, once/day in the morning, highly predictable. She RARELY had any soiled diapers since then except when she was sick of diarrhea at 5 month old.

4) She went to daycare at 5.5 month old, but she kept good habit of not pooping in her diapers. However, I had to admit she was not poop-free at daycare, we saw from her report that our effort of keeping her clean was slowly gone.

5) However, she VERY RARELY had any dirty diapers at home (I wanted to say NEVER, but just to be cautious, my memory could be wrong!) since she was 7 month old (see pics below.) As we kept the habit of putting her on potty chair or toilet and exclaimed each time when she did pee or poop, which was more than 95% of time.

6) At 13 month, we took her out of daycare for 15 days (traveling abroad.) During this time we kept her diaper free and bottomless whenever possible. When we got her back to daycare, she was able to keep the habit of being clean – rarely had dirty diapers at daycare anymore.

7) At 14~15 month, she was able to take the insert of her potty to dump the content to big toilet herself and would not like it if we tried to help.

7) By 16 month, she was able to take us to her potty while she was butt naked playing with sprinklers in the yard!

8) By 18 month, she was able to hold her pee and rarely had wet diapers at daycare.

9) At 20 month, daycare teachers suggested us directly go to regular panties. It’s been this way for whole 2 weeks now. She had accidents occasionally, but not daily and her accidents are controlled, meaning she does not finish the whole course of pee, just little bit wet by the time she tells the teacher. However, she always poops in the potty.

As you can see, we consider this whole potty training process easy and smooth. You can say we trained ourselves, not her. I agree, but I don’t see any difficulties for us to put her on a potty chair before we put her on a changing table. Sure, it took a little bit longer for a diaper change, yet none of us mind. The good thing to start putting her on the potty early is that she would get the habit of using potty before she knew to refuse to sit on it. It was part of the routine to her very early on! Another good thing is that she is able to clean after herself as soon as she walks!

That is it, no trick at all.

According to books and articles that I read and teachers at daycare that I talked to, the best and most efficient way is to put on regular panties when they show any signs of readiness to use potty. Remind your kid each hour or so to go. If they do, great, exclaim, praise. If not, not to push, let them get wet so they get feedback and put them on the potty even though you just find out they wet themselves. After few days, they should get the idea.

I am going to do the night training this way when she will be 24 months:

1) No diaper at night.

2) Take her to the potty before our bedtime (11 pm or so), 2~3 hours after her bed time (9 pm.)

3) Take her to potty at 4 am or so, as I will be doing the night feedings to our newborn anyways.

4) Eliminate the 4 am potty after 2 weeks.

5) If she wet the bed in the middle of the night, let her sleep in her wet bed, unless she fusses about it badly.

Will report how this goes later.

We are guessing that our second child will give us much harder time. My DH never fails to tell me how exhausting it could be to raise a son. Whenever he sees a boy jumping and running everywhere and the parents chasing after the kid, he would say “see that’s our son!” I am tired just to think about it! Can’t be that lucky every time, I know.

Sorry for this long post. I am waiting for my paper to get back from preliminary reviews at work, so I had some time to do this. It won’t be this long in the future, I promise.

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Last edited by children on Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
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Postby CarolineP » Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:52 pm

Hi Yasmina

You are very well organised and have a fantastic memory.

DD is nappy free at night - she had dry morning nappies within the 1st week of training and we dispensed with the night time nappy after 10 days of training - so far no accidents.

She sleeps from 7pm until 7am and will wake us up at night if she needs to use the toilet, normally after a swimming afternoon when she has drunk most of the pool! I have recently taken to putting her on the toilet when I go to bed at 10.30pm for a 'sleepy wee' on swimming days and that gets her through the night.

Good luck
Caroline P
Me 50 DH 57 - TTC 10 years
IVF July 04, Sept 04, Dec 04 all -ive
Mar 05 +ive - Amelia Leah born 30/11/05
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Postby children » Wed Nov 12, 2008 3:50 pm

Hi Caroline,

Looks like night diaper training is painless to you. That is great to know! I am quite encouraged now and I may even start earlier than planned! I believe our DD has better kidneys than I, as I was not dry until college, LOL!

Glad to know that we have another thing in common - taking the kid to swimming pool! We started to take our DD swimming with us (once a week only) at her 8 weeks age and she was able to swim by herself now (with the help of floating arms and suit.) It's cute to see her jumping into the water with no fear, whereas I am much more afraid of the initial shock of the cold water! She does not drink too much water, but I suspect swimming gave her frequent ear infections before her ear tubes were implanted, although her Dr did not think so. We are removing her floating gears progressively at the moment. She still cannot immerse her head in the water yet.

I hope that Tammy and Catharine and other over 40 ladies will join us soon! BTW, have you heard anything from Anna and Bev? Have not seem them posting much anymore. What about other gals?

Take care, Yasmina
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
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Postby CarolineP » Sat Nov 15, 2008 10:59 pm

Hi Yasmina

It was the dry nappies every morning for 10 days that gave us the confidence to try going without.

We swim with DD twice a week - DH takes her for a 30 minute lesson on a Friday morning and I take her for a playtime hour on a Tuesday afternoon. If time permits, we sneak in a weekend family swim which is the best time of all. She is a confident independant swimmer with armbands but does not like to jump in or go under the water. Swimming teacher says that this will all come together eventually.

CarolineP
Me 50 DH 57 - TTC 10 years
IVF July 04, Sept 04, Dec 04 all -ive
Mar 05 +ive - Amelia Leah born 30/11/05
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Postby teachertam » Mon Nov 17, 2008 12:44 am

Hello Yasmina and Caroline,

I wish that I was as motivated as you both sound regarding the potty training. Andrew was doing really well, but I got lazy and it seems that he has regressed a little. He does not want to sit on the potty chair every time that I try to get him to do so and he does not always pee when I place him on his chair. In the past, he seemed to always pee a little every time he sat down. He would even tell me sometimes that he wanted to go sit down on his potty. I heard that boys are more difficult to train than girls, but I do not know if that is true.

Take care,
Tammy
Me 46/DH 48 (12/05 & 3/06: IVF#1/#2: BFN)
6/06:Nat. Preg.-DS 2/07; 12/08 IVF#3 fet -BFN
5/09& 6/09 Femara#1/#2-BFN; 7/09 IUI with femara/GF BFN
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Postby children » Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:23 pm

Tammy,

About Andrew, I think he sets up his own pace now. It's still very early in my opinion. It's quicker to get it done with when you start at the right time when he is ready. The earliest potty trained boy that I know of is 2.5 yrs old (including night time!) Most of them get it done between 3~4. Since Andrew has already started to tell you that he wants to go now, I think that he is not far!

BTW, Eloise's doing well in her third week, only had two small accidents on Monday and the rest of the week was free of accidents. Teachers had to change her panties once on both Wed and Thurs as they were a little wet by the time they got the potty, both times she asked to go! So, teachers said consider it's done.

I have a feeling about the night time training though since she has not had dry diapers in the morning for long time. I think I am going to wait until I have some to start. Will let you know.

Caroline,

We did not send Eloise to swim school. My DH swim twice a week for training (he used to do Triathlon training in France) but I only swim once a week in this second pg. We usually take Eloise to swimming pool right after the dad finishes his weekend training program (11 am) and let her have fun with daddy in the pool for 30 min or so and I go for my weekly 1K swim to keep the baby healthy. Needless to say, I am not persistent nor fast swimmer, I do 1K in 30 min. When I am not pg, I run 2~3x week, 5k or 30 min each. That is it for me.

Take care, you two!

Yasmina
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
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Postby Catharine » Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:30 pm

Hey all-
I see this board has been inactive since Nov. I hope ya'll are still accessing it. I felt awkward constantly chatting about DD on the tmt over 40 board so I've moved over here to chat about her.

Mainly I'm looking for advice. DD is 10wks and not on a regular schedule :( For instance, 2 nights ago she nearly slept though the night, 11:30p til 6a [okay through the night]. Last night another story, she had had two long naps during the day then by night she would not go to sleep. Every time she looked drowsey she fought it off to a state of alertness followed by fussiness. Once she is fussy it is hard to get her out of the cycle. Any suggestions. Currently we are trying to be consistent with a bath between 8:30 and 9p then story then hopefully sleep. So far it's hit or miss with that sleep thing.

So any suggestions on things to try from just keep on with what we're doing to adding something? Please, I'd like to get some sleep in my own bed soon.

Okay I have it on good authority [my mum] that I was the same way. I never napped and ultimately slept for short bursts of time. This is a case of mum getting her wish true 'for me to experience a me' :lol:

All the best,
Catharine
Me 46 DH 46
ttc > 5y
1 IVF Feb08 BFP singleton born Nov, '08
1 IVF Nov09 BFN
1 IUI May10,Sept10, Oct10 BFNs

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Postby AuntyPebbles » Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:23 am

Hi Lady's can i join..mine is younger than all of yours but i think the support here would be amazing.

Hi Catharine...did you mean your DD is 10 months right not 10 weeks?

read you soon...Aunty
Me 42 ,DH 45 ...3 IVF's BFN
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)

Now on Face Book pm me for information..
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Postby CarolineP » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:15 pm

Hi to Aunty and Catherine you are very welcome over here.

Catherine, I started DD into a schedule at 6 weeks and by week 12 we had some of our life back.

I used the Gina Ford book for advice and followed her schedule, which although controversial (very strict) it suited our life style - I needed night time sleep and this schedule gave it to me.

I used the whole 45 minutes to breast feed to get as much milk into DD as I could during that time. This is the basics of my schedule:

06.45 wake up baby
07.00 to 07.45 feed & nappy change
07.45 to 08.45 play/wake time
09.00 to 10.30 sleep
10.45 to 11.30 feed & nappy change
11.30 to 12.30 play/wake time
12.30 to 14.30 sleep
14.30 to 15.15 feed & nappy change
15.15 to 16.15 play/wake
16.15 to 17.00 sleep
17.00 to 18.15 play/wake/bathtime/nappy change
18.15 to 19.00 feed
19.00 to 22.15 bedtime sleep
22.15 to 23.00 feed & nappy change
23.00 to 06.45 nightime sleep

It looks complicated but it can work and by 16 weeks DD dropped the 22.00hr feed and slept from 7pm to 7am and continues to do so unless teething.

The best advice I got from Gina Ford is to let a baby get themselves to sleep and this entails the controlled crying technique - the most controversial of her methods. Most babies only sleep up to 2 hours in one spell so they need to learn to turn over and go back to sleep without the help of rocking or soothing from the parents.

It may seem unnatural to leave a baby crying but when they are so young and if they are feed, winded and tired they should drop off to sleep relatively quickly. The longest my DD cried was 15 mins and she only did this long twice, I did go into her every 5 minutes to reassure her but did not pick her up and stay longer than 30 seconds.

It was very hard at first and myself and DH questioned ourselves constantly and decided to give it 5 days, on day 4 DD laid down listening to her cot mobile and went to sleep without a sound - magic!!

In discussing with other Mums who used this technique it did work - some took longer than 4 days but nobody took longer than 2 weeks for it to work. Its not for the faint hearted, its just another emotional rollacoaster ride of parenting.

Aunty, please update us on your baby so that we can coo together.

CarolineP
Me 50 DH 57 - TTC 10 years
IVF July 04, Sept 04, Dec 04 all -ive
Mar 05 +ive - Amelia Leah born 30/11/05
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Postby Catharine » Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:01 pm

Caroline-thanks.

Last night I got some rest, phew! I believe DD is a late bloomer w/r/t colic. Although now 10 weeks she is presenting these evenings with unconsolable crying but thankfully not waling. Last evening I remembered I have some relaxation CDs of ocean surf, a babbling brook, thundrstorms and the such. I put the surf CD in and cranked up the volume [not overly loud-but louder than a quiet conversation]. This worked like a charm to calm DD to the point of quietness. What a blessing that was. My hope is that the ocean surf doesn't get old for her. We've been doing a nightly bath [scheduled] followed by a bottle of formula [the extra calories to get her through the night] then a story. Last evening it worked like a charm. I hope the rest of our week goes so swimmingly well. I well keep the Gina Ford in mind [in my back pocket as we progress]. DD did require a early morning feeding but following the rule of just feed don't play nor stimulate she was able to get her sustanance and drift back off to sugar plum land. She slept another 4hr, yippee :) when she awoke she was in good spirits, where we played for a long bit before she drifted off to sleep again. Fingers crossed this continues. It sounds like we might be on our way to the schedule you presented.

Thank you again.
Catharine
Me 46 DH 46
ttc > 5y
1 IVF Feb08 BFP singleton born Nov, '08
1 IVF Nov09 BFN
1 IUI May10,Sept10, Oct10 BFNs

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Postby children » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:33 pm

Hi Catharine and Aunty,

Welcome! I was going to recommend Catharine the book, the happiest child in block reply but now I think nothing beats the Caroline's strict schedule and I am going to steal it also for the coming boy.

I was lucky that our DD was not a fussy baby and since 6~7 weeks she started to give us a regular feeding-sleeping pattern. We rarely had play/wake time though since she sleeps all the time! I am going to add it to our son's schedule this time - I am guessing this way I can make him sleep longer at nights.

Right now, DD does 9 pm to 7:30 am sleeping hours without waking up in the middle of the nights other than few exceptions when sick. But having our second baby on the way, she probably sensed it and started waking once in the middle of the night. The worst is that we cannot ignore her like we did before because she gets out of her bed and stands by the gate asking for Ma Ma or Pa Pa to get her!!! Any insights is welcome here!

Catharine,

I am so glad that you finally got something working with your DD, fingers crossed for keeping this way!

Aunty,

Do update frequently so we can share the joy of parenting!

Caroline,

We removed arm band floating aid from our DD and she swims fine w/o them. But her vest still has floating device and we can remove it progressively.

Still too lazy to do the night time training because DD's diaper is soaking wet in the mornings, still!

Take care, everyone here!

Yasmina
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
children
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Postby CarolineP » Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:05 am

Yasmina

You seem very well organised with the birth of your 2nd baby approaching fast. I look forward to seeing your updates and sharing in your joy.

Catherine

Enjoy every moment, this time will fly past and get plenty of daytime naps when you can.

CarolineP
Me 50 DH 57 - TTC 10 years
IVF July 04, Sept 04, Dec 04 all -ive
Mar 05 +ive - Amelia Leah born 30/11/05
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