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Lost my baby girl at 20 weeks, please help ...

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Lost my baby girl at 20 weeks, please help ...

Postby angelaezra » Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:01 pm

I just had my 20 week appointment yesterday only to find out that our baby girl is gone. I asked for second opinion from a high risk OB and she confirmed it. I can't believe this is happening! I keep thinking I'm dreaming. I can't believe I am loosing another child. But, with this one I have to deliver her tomorrow. I don't understand how life can be so cruel. I feel like I can't go on ...

When my RE did my blood work up, I tested positive for the Lupus Antigen but I currently do not have it. I have been on daily Heparin shots and baby aspirin since I have been pregnant. But, obviously it did not do any good. I don't know who else to turn to but you ladies. Please help me, what do I do next?

Angela
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1 miscarriage 2002 (nat)
1 ectopic pregnancy 2006 (nat)
1st IVF 10/08-BFP twins/misc-6 1/2 wks & stillbirth 21 wks
2nd FET 6/09-BFN
3rd IVF 2010-April-BFP - DD born 12/7/10

Lost Ashley Nicole Thomas at 21 weeks
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Postby Vlada » Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:41 am

Angela,
I am so sorry that it happened to you, i hope everything will go safe for you tomorrow. I will pray for you.
Vlada.
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Postby Sara30 » Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:04 am

Angela

I am so sorry for what you are going through, I can feel your emotion in your words......

I am sorry you are going to have to go through the delivery tommorrow and I will be thinking about you and keep you in my prayers. No one can tell you what to do right now, just go with your feelings and do what feels right whether its crying, screaming, sitting silently or talking, you will know inside what you need to do......

Life can be cruel and so unfair at times and I don't know why it has to be so............

You know there are people here you can lean on if you feel you need to.

Thinking of you, your DH and your little girl........

Lee xx
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Postby bdantonio » Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:20 pm

I am so sorry for you loss. I have lost 5 pregnacies and all but 1 of them was 2nd trimester. It is not easy or fair. I hope that they can give you a reason why. I was on lovenox and baby asprin with my last one also.
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Postby ogr1 » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:54 am

this will be one of the hardest ones to go threw.
be prepared for your breast milk to come in.
i thought i was going to comepletly lose it when after 3 days of having our son my milk came in and my son wasnt here to drink from me.
i fely like i betrayed my self and my son and my husband.
allow youself to grieve and give yourself time.
and prepare yourself for people not understanding and that some may say things to you that they shouldnt try and remeber that they are just trying to help.
i was lucky and my husband was great and i had my faith and some great friends on here.
or i wouldnt have made it.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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Postby baylorbear33 » Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:56 pm

Angela... I am so sorry for your loss. I can honestly say that I know what you are going through as I lost my twin baby girls at 19 weeks back on 8/30/08. I too had to deliver them in the hospital. It is a tough, tough process but you will get through it. The best advice that I can give is to let yourself deal with this on your terms. Do not let anyone tell you how to feel, what to do, etc. You are a strong person (you would not have gone through IVF if you were not) and you can get through this. Keep the faith, and as hard as it is to hear/believe, God has a plan for you. Please know that I am thinking of you!
Age 39, DH 37
1st IVF 5/08-Lost Twin Girls @ 19 wks
FET 4/09-M/C @ 5 1/2 weeks
FET 6/09-BFP
Owen Robert born 3/3/2010, 10 lbs 4 oz
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Thank you ...

Postby angelaezra » Sat Feb 14, 2009 5:18 pm

I want to thank everyone for your replies. I can't believe this has happened to us. We named her Ashley. I could not believe how much she looked liked my DH. It is so comforting to look at him and know what she would have looked like when she got older.

I am hurting so bad right now. I am at a loss of words right. But, your replies mean so much to me. I really feel like I am supported.

Angela
Image
1 miscarriage 2002 (nat)
1 ectopic pregnancy 2006 (nat)
1st IVF 10/08-BFP twins/misc-6 1/2 wks & stillbirth 21 wks
2nd FET 6/09-BFN
3rd IVF 2010-April-BFP - DD born 12/7/10

Lost Ashley Nicole Thomas at 21 weeks
angelaezra
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Location: Ohio

Postby garfieldtracy » Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:26 pm

Just checking in to see how you are doing. I know how you felt and I also know that there are no words that will help - only time. So I will just say I am deeply sorry and hope you are doing better.
Tracy
Me:44,DH:45
ttc>4 yrs
4 Clomids:all BFN
2 IUI's:both BFN
1 IUI:BFP-chemical
1 IVF:Mar08 BFP-sadly lost week 36
2 IVF:Mar09 BFN
3 IVF:May09 BFP-sadly m/c week 9
4 IVF:Nov09-cancelled, no fertilization
5 IVF:IUI: Jan10 BFN
6 IVF:Mar10 BFN
7 IVF:JUL10 BFN
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Postby angelaezra » Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:01 am

Thank you for asking. I am doing ok ... just taking it one day at a time. I have my good days and my bad days. I went back to work early because it was too hard to sit at my house during the day alone.

I have found a much better team of doctors and we are currently trying to figure out our next plan of action.
Image
1 miscarriage 2002 (nat)
1 ectopic pregnancy 2006 (nat)
1st IVF 10/08-BFP twins/misc-6 1/2 wks & stillbirth 21 wks
2nd FET 6/09-BFN
3rd IVF 2010-April-BFP - DD born 12/7/10

Lost Ashley Nicole Thomas at 21 weeks
angelaezra
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Posts: 1180
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 2:18 am
Location: Ohio

Postby garfieldtracy » Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:33 pm

Do what you and DH want. If you want to try again - OK, if you want to explore other options - OK. If you want move forward fast then go for it. If you want to move forward slowly the do that. There is no right/wrong answer to how you proceed next. It is what you and DH want. What I am saying is the you will never forget Ashley (I think of Scott every day), but with time it does get easier to move forward with life - whatever that involves for you and DH. Hopefully soon your good days will be more then your bad days.
Take care,
Tracy
Me:44,DH:45
ttc>4 yrs
4 Clomids:all BFN
2 IUI's:both BFN
1 IUI:BFP-chemical
1 IVF:Mar08 BFP-sadly lost week 36
2 IVF:Mar09 BFN
3 IVF:May09 BFP-sadly m/c week 9
4 IVF:Nov09-cancelled, no fertilization
5 IVF:IUI: Jan10 BFN
6 IVF:Mar10 BFN
7 IVF:JUL10 BFN
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Postby BabiesGalore » Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:47 pm

Angela,

Really sorry for what u are going thru. I lost my baby to an chromosome abnormality at 17.5 weeks in January and all i can say is that there are good days and then bad days. We will never forget our baby but just trying to take it one day at a time. The pain will lessen but will never go away. Anytime u want to talk..i am here. I go thru the worse part thru' counseling and support groups. My heart goes out to u.

Hugs,
Me-40; DH-42;
IVf 1&2 3/08 5/08 BFN; FET1 10/08 BFP: lst baby boy at 17.5w. IVF3:7/09 BFP!! Beta 947; 4689; 10367; U/S 8/19: h/B!!! Baby girl born on 4/6/10
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Re: Lost my baby girl at 20 weeks, please help ...

Postby Butterfly27 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:14 pm

I'm so sorry about your losses. Your story made me cry. Life can be really unfair! Honey, I'm glad to see that you don't give up! I'm sure you'll get what you want. We should always fight for our dreams and goals no matter what. There are so many girls who really want to help. They propose their help on forums and the do it with pure heart.
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