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Anyone in the process of Adoption, in the uk?

Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

Anyone in the process of Adoption, in the uk?

Postby bobs » Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:05 am

Hi,
After many failed attempts at ICSI, my DH + I took 2yrs 'time out' from the process to assess what we were going to try next. We have both decided that we are not going to try ICSI anymore and have settled on Adoption. It has been a big step to take but we are both completely happy with the decision and are quite excited about the process.
Are any of you in the process of Adoption? We were on the waiting list a year and are now 4 wks into our Home study.
I would love to hear from anyone who is or has been on this route.
Hope to hear from you soon
take care, Bobs x
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)
bobs
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Posts: 57
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Location: east yorkshire

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Postby Sara30 » Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:24 pm

Hi Bobs

We are from the UK and after 4 failed attempts using my own and Donor eggs we are now thinking about adoption.

We are all ready foster carers and have been for many years so I am not sure how the process will be for us as we have all ready had a home study done for fostering although we will have to have some more indepth talks about motivation for adoption and our IVF journey etc etc. I am having a couple of months out of fostering and have spoke to our social worker and said I would like to talk to her later in the year in more depth about adoption.

So how are you finding the home study??

Lee xx
Sara30
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Postby bobs » Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:39 am

Hi Lee
I have to admit I thought I would be real nervous about the home study + the 1st day our social worker came to meet us, I was beside myself. Yet as soon as she walked in I felt that we had known her years.
My DH + I have really enjoyed all of the home study + the training days that we have had to attend. We have met some lovely people, adopters + foster carers alike.
Our home study is very nearly at the end. Our s/w is putting our case study together now + we are about to make our family book.
We go to panel on the 18th June, which is daunting! lol. We didn't think we would be going to panel until at the very least oct, so when we heard it was June we were in shock, to say the least :shock: .
How long have you been fostering + how many children have you been placed with so far. I find this all real exciting + would love to hear of your experiences with the children. I'm sure you will fly through the adoption process, your already half way there with you being foster carers. You will have an idea already what it entails :)
Hope to hear from you soon
Take care
Bobs xx
P.s. Feel free to PM me if you want to ask anything.
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)
bobs
Member
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Postby Sara30 » Mon Apr 13, 2009 3:08 pm

Hi Bobs

Wow you went through the home study fast thats brilliant!!! June is not far round the corner!! So once you have been to panel and approved will they match you with a child, children or do you look at profiles?? Thats the only bit about it that doesn't seem nice when you have to look at childrens profiles and decide from there whether you want to be their parent, but I guess there is no other way. It certainly helps when you have a social worker you connect with, I have had mine for years and she is like a friend now as well, definately would not want to lose her!!

I have fostered for 16 years, long before we started to try for birth chidren, I am fortunate in that we have been very open about our IVF journey with our fostering and adoption team so they are aware where we are emotionally with all of the process etc. I am not sure if we will still have to wait for a year from finishing our last IVF try before they will put us through the adoption process tho, so we will wait and see. I don't feel I need a year I came to terms with the fact we would not have biological children last year so I did my grieving then, so we will see what they say.

We have had around 20 or so children come through our house over the last 16 years, we do all types of fostering, respite for disabled children, emergency care, short and long term, we have moved children onto adoption ourselves and moved children on back home and to other foster placements. We are having a break at the moment, our last child went back home a couple of weeks ago so not doing anymore fostering until June time now,

I am glad I have done fostering now we are looking to adopt it certainly will make us much more prepared for what lays ahead!!!

So do you want to adopt one child or a sibling group?? It must be really exciting you are nearly there!!!

I am happy to use the pm if you want to talk more privately,

I was up in Durham this weekend visiting family, we are up in the North East quite a lot, we had beautiful weather up there this time!!!

Take care
Speak Soon
Lee xxx
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Postby bobs » Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:29 pm

Hi Lee
Yes, it does feel like we've done our home study really quickly. We thought it would be at least 8 months from startin it to going to panel!
As far as I'm aware, if we pass the panel, we will receive profiles on children that our social worker may feel are what we are looking for. I agree it doesn't sound very nice + when it was 1st mentioned at the beginning of our home study, I was horrified. But, like you say, I dont suppose there is any other way.

Hopefully you won't have to wait a year from your last IVF seen as you have been fostering. Its a waste of time when you are already physically and emotionally ready for this journey. The experience you have been through already during fostering, must tell them already that you know where your head is at.

We have decided to have 1 or 2 children, would love more but our house isn't big enough, although who knows what the future holds..We could always move into a shoe!!! :lol: . Siblings would be nice but we are keeping an open mind until we receive the profiles.

At the moment we are in the process of making our family book that gets passed onto the child once we are matched. It's a nightmare were to start and what to include as it all depends on the age of the child, lol. I guess you will have seen many of these over time and they will be like second nature to you, hehe

Take care
Bobs xx
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)
bobs
Member
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Postby Sara30 » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:41 pm

Hi Bobs

How is the family book going? Yes have seen a few and we have one also for when have planned moves of children coming to live with us.

So do you have a date for panel?

Thought I would let you know we have applied to adopt and we have our information evening on the 10th July. I have made some enquiries and it looks like we will just have to update our home study not do the whole thing which is good news. So we wait and see I am getting excited now and impatient!! Patience was never one of my strong points when it comes to something I want!!

Lokking forward to hearing you have been approved.

Lee xx
Sara30
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Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 3:59 pm
Location: UK

Postby bobs » Tue May 05, 2009 8:41 am

Hi Lee
Sorry I've taken so long to reply. We have just been sorting our gettin a new bathroom fitted + between decorating and working I havent had much time to come on here.

We have bought a few things for our family book, such as stickers etc to make it look colourful + child like. We've taken some photos too of people in our family who will mostly be in contact with our child/ren when they arrive. We just need to sit and do it now lol.

We go to panel on the 18th June, both of us are quite nervous altho our s/w states we will be fine and that rarely does a couple get to panel and fail, but i wont relax until we officially hear the verdict! lol

When I think back to January when our home study started it feels yrs ago, but it has well + truly flown by, so July for yours will be here before you know it!! It's all real exciting tho, we've both enjoyed every part of our home study.

Look forward to hearing from you
Love Bobs xx
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)
bobs
Member
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire


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