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Anyone else whose friends ALL have kids?

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Anyone else whose friends ALL have kids?

Postby pattieh » Sat Mar 07, 2009 1:54 am

It just happens to be that all of my husband's friends and my friends have kids, so whenever there is a get together, everyone kids are there and I always feel kinda awkward.

For anyone going through this same situation, how do you deal with it? I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy when I see everyone's kids. And then get paranoid that they're wondering what's wrong with us, why we don't have kids.

I love playing with everyone's kids, and the kids have fun, but deep down inside, I feel sad.
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Postby PAC » Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:04 am

Hi, I think this is a very common feeling. I too went through the same emotions. I didn't tell many people we were having fertility issues, only my closest friends and family. I hated when people would ask "When are you two having kids." It drove me crazy. The day after I found out my friend called to tell me she was pregnant and I dropped the phone and cried. She obviously didn't know, and then my other friend called to tell me she had an oops and was pregnant. It is so hard when we love children so much and want to have one of our own so badly, but it doesn't come easily. I think what you are feeling is normal. We want to be happy for people, but deep down we wish it were us. I also find myself getting very bitter and angry at people who do not appreciate the gift they have been given. I think it is part of the grieving process of infertility: sadness, anger, jealousy, hope, love. It is an emotional roller coaster. Give yourself a break on any emotions you are having. Another one I found was that no one truly understands what I (or people with infertility) went or are going through. After an IVF treatment I have the most beautiful daughter and I appreciate her EVERY SINGLE DAY of her life. I wish you the best of luck with any road you are choosing now.
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Postby Miracle08 » Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:10 pm

Hi there!

I just wanted to let you know you arent alone. ALL of mine and DH friends have children. It is very heartbreaking. And I agree 100% about feeling jealous or angry because you see people taking their children for granted. Our friends know we have infertility. I couldnt take the questions anymore.

I cried when I saw my good friends baby the other day. I couldnt believe how big she is, and her crawling. It just killed me. My friend was like, dont cry. How can I not?? If I am ever blessed with a baby, my baby will grow up alone...our kids were supposed to grow up together and be the best of friends... IF just sucks...it is one of the worst things a couple can go through!!
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Postby hope2beamummy » Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:50 am

We are the same all of our friends have kids,only one of the couples knows of our infertility and it sucks big time. I feel like so angry when Im around them. I havent even bonded with our niece also our god daughter,becuse I feel so resentful towards her parents that they got a baby. I know that sounds awful but that is how I feel. I am getting better now,she is 16mths and that is how long it has taken me to come to terms with her. I obviously love her and all the rest i just found it really hard. Im glad to read that this is seemingly a normal pattern of emotions and i am not a crazy,heartless *****!
Thanks for letting me vent,
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