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What are the chances?

Forum for those who have lost their babies through miscarriage, neonatal or stillbirth.

Postby starwishes » Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:02 pm

hi ladies,
I've been reading all your stories on this thread, after coming over from the July/August cycle thread where there is also a great bunch of supportive women. I had a BFP 2 weeks ago and just had my 6 week scan, only to discover there was no heartbeat and the sac couldn't be detected. We were just so utterly heartbroken. I don't think I've sobbed like that for a long long time. The rollercoaster of emtions after the elation of being pregnant then the crushing blow of having all your very worst fears confirmed is pretty devastating. I think the thing i feel most foolish about is celebrating with close family and friends after the BFP. I read all these pregnancy books and even started looking at maternity wear! I think next time, I will be much more realistic about it all.
Anyway I find your positivity really reassuring.

Gi- as always you are so positive and encouraging to others. You are really courageous how you handle all your treatments and disappointments - a real inspiration!
Elles, I know how you feel telling your DH to marry someone else! I have to say mine is such a tower of strength for me.
Ert and Jenice - your positivity is really uplifting.

I am sending lots of paryers to you all and asking the angels to watch over you! xx
Me- 35
DH-41
'unexplained infertility'
TTC - 3 1/2 years
5 failed IUI attempts
IVF #1 July '09 - BFP m/c 6 weeks
IVF #2 Dec '09 - BFP m/c 9 weeks
FET Oct '10 - BFN
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Postby gi » Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:24 am

Starwishes my cycle buddy!!

Dont every regret celebrating your BFP with your family and friends, you got pregnant even if it was short lived and that is a celebration in itself. I wouldnt change a thing that has happened to me as i always believe things happen for a reason, i was told last year that i would never have children and now i have proved them wrong, j and i can do it and will do it again. As heartbreaking as the miscarriage was though i think mine is a missed miscarriage? seen baby, yolk and sac but heartbeat weak and died following week, i am so motivated now to keep continuing, i cant replace the baby i have lost but i have a special little angel in heaven who will help me get my baby.
Take your time to grieve the loss of your little baby, you and dh are going thro. an emotional rollercoaster at the moment but believe me it does get easier you wont ever forget but will learn to live with it. If we get pregnant again i will celebrate from the minute i find out and cherish every single moment of it. Take care of yourself and we are always here for you xxxxx

gi xxx
7th IVF finally our precious miracle girl Kayla born 24/11/10, 8th IVF FET Sept 2012 BFP!!!
Its TRIPLETS!!!!
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Postby jenice » Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:13 pm

ERT, I've been on my BCP's currently and will be doing the antagonist protocol instead. I think transfer should occur around early september. I hope everything goes well cause I'm getting tired of it all. Sometimes I just want my life back. I want to enjoy my daughter now cause she'll only be little for so long. She is 4 years old and cute as a button. I can see she is changing into that little preschooler, the babyfat I always loved so much is starting to leave her face :( We are going into the 5th cycle of injectables. We started last August with injectables and intercourse then other life issues kept us busy for awhile. Then in February we started with IUI with injectables ans this April in vitro which was cancelled and now another IVF cycle cancelled in July. I feel like I am running out of steam !!!! Sorry about complaining I just want to finish a cycle. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster of emotion and I'm going down again. Once I'm in the middle if the cycle I'm better, I think I just get used to it. How are you doing? Do you think you will wait awhile ? Do you have frozen embryos? Is that cycle alot easier with the drugs? You don't have to use stims so less labs and DR appts? Wish me luck!!!! Good luck to you and I hope you are feeling a little better.
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Postby jenice » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:05 pm

Starwishes,sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Never feel foolish for getting excited about being pregnant. I understand what you mean though, sometimes it can make it harder on you by telling everyone and then you have the miscarriage and have to tell everyone you had told before :( My 1st pregnancy I didn't know I was pregnant (ectopic) and I found out i was pregnant and had to have surgery the next morning.The 2nd pregnancy I found out and we had to wait a couple of weeks to find out where the sac was. We didn't tell family till we found out it was another ectopic pregnancy. My 3rd pregnany I told my friends and family but didn't tell my work till I was 4 months. The next (hopefully) pregnancy I'm going to tell everyone and go shopping for all the cutest baby stuff!!!! You never know what is going to happen. When I was pregnant with my daughter I fell and had a concussion I went to the hospital and was hooked up to the fetal monitor for 8 hours. All I kept thinking about was the fear of losing my pregnancy @ 5 months. I fell good to I actaully was confused from it my hubby had called from work just after I fell. I couldn't remember his work #. I had asked him if Iwas pregnant I couldn't remember.I told him my head was hurting alot and i didn't remember falling until my head was hurting. Hubby rushed home and brought me to the hospital. He made sure I was okay, everything I remembered after a couple of minutes. So some things are out of your control unfortunately and you have to enjoy what you get when you have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Postby jenice » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:06 pm

Starwishes,sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Never feel foolish for getting excited about being pregnant. I understand what you mean though, sometimes it can make it harder on you by telling everyone and then you have the miscarriage and have to tell everyone you had told before :( My 1st pregnancy I didn't know I was pregnant (ectopic) and I found out i was pregnant and had to have surgery the next morning.The 2nd pregnancy I found out and we had to wait a couple of weeks to find out where the sac was. We didn't tell family till we found out it was another ectopic pregnancy. My 3rd pregnany I told my friends and family but didn't tell my work till I was 4 months. The next (hopefully) pregnancy I'm going to tell everyone and go shopping for all the cutest baby stuff!!!! You never know what is going to happen. When I was pregnant with my daughter I fell and had a concussion I went to the hospital and was hooked up to the fetal monitor for 8 hours. All I kept thinking about was the fear of losing my pregnancy @ 5 months. I fell good to I actaully was confused from it my hubby had called from work just after I fell. I couldn't remember his work #. I had asked him if Iwas pregnant I couldn't remember.I told him my head was hurting alot and i didn't remember falling until my head was hurting. Hubby rushed home and brought me to the hospital. He made sure I was okay, everything I remembered after a couple of minutes. So some things are out of your control unfortunately and you have to enjoy what you get when you have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lots of baby wishes

Postby jenice » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:37 pm

Gi, Hi I was thinking about you. I figured you might have transferred already. I'll say a prayer for you and send lots of baby dust your way!!!
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Postby starwishes » Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:11 pm

Thank you girls for your supportive and kind words!
It's a real help reading your posts. DH and I went away to the countryside for a few days - and it really helped just being out in nature talking through our loss. I have to say I do feel so much more positive now and stronger for the experience.
Gi, my cycle buddy, you are an angel. I know what you mean about feeling motivated to carry on. You must be on your 2ww now? Am sending you up lots of prayers (apparently Angel Gabriel is the angel of conception - guess it makes sense!) and the very best of Irish luck and oodles of sticky baby dust too! xx

Jenice - gosh you went through quite an experience. I wish you all the very best for everything ahead! Lots of PMA to you!

xxx
Me- 35
DH-41
'unexplained infertility'
TTC - 3 1/2 years
5 failed IUI attempts
IVF #1 July '09 - BFP m/c 6 weeks
IVF #2 Dec '09 - BFP m/c 9 weeks
FET Oct '10 - BFN
starwishes
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Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:29 pm
Location: london

Postby gi » Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:53 pm

jenice you have been thro a lot in the last few years and deserve your little daughter hopefully a sibling is not too far away. Thanks for asking but transfer is not till end of this wk and i am sick of the thoughts of it - we only have 2 frozen 3 day embies and i am terrifed the wont survive the thaw! Ah well time will time.

starwishes glad to hear you and dh taking some time out together, as long as both of ye talk to each other you will be fine, j and i are only back from a break away also and he bought me a gold angel necklace to remind me of my little angel - yes there was some tears!! Thanks for the prayers to Angel Gabriel i need all the help i can get!!

Ert - how are you doing, hope you dont mind us using your thread but its great to have someone to talk to who knows exactly what we have been thro.

Have my scan tomorrow so hopefully will get go ahead for transfer also feel extremely nasuaus from the med but sure isnt it preparing me for morning sickenss :lol: will keep ye informed
I am going to pray really hard for all of us that we will get our little miracles shortly xxxx
gi xxx
7th IVF finally our precious miracle girl Kayla born 24/11/10, 8th IVF FET Sept 2012 BFP!!!
Its TRIPLETS!!!!
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Postby starwishes » Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:20 pm

Gi, am thinking of you for your scan tomorrow. Lots of prayers and PMA for the thaw. just visualise the little embies thawing perfectly and making a happy home inside you! Best of luck xx
Me- 35
DH-41
'unexplained infertility'
TTC - 3 1/2 years
5 failed IUI attempts
IVF #1 July '09 - BFP m/c 6 weeks
IVF #2 Dec '09 - BFP m/c 9 weeks
FET Oct '10 - BFN
starwishes
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Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:29 pm
Location: london

pray for u

Postby jenice » Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:01 am

gi, hope all is well. I hope transfer went well Saint Gerard is watching over you :) Good people deserve good things!!! I'm Irish can't you tell???
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wishing on a star

Postby jenice » Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:16 am

ert and starwishes hope everything is well. Miss talkin to you guys :( Not the same talkin to hubby, you know what I MEAN???? bABY DUST TO YA!!!!!
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Postby gi » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:27 pm

Hi ladies,

Jenice didnt realise you were Irish also!!! I did join the irish health site but the editor is soooo slow it could take a whole day for your message to get posted which was a pain if you really needed some support. I am from carlow. How is your meds going?? Your transfer is early sept isnt it? You must be getting excited now!!! I had a few words with St Gerard and a few other saints while i was at it!! I even did an emergency 9 hour novena yesterday where you pray on the hour every hour for 9 hours - it seems to have worked so far :D I know what you mean about it not been the same talking to our dhs or my case partner its nice to hear from others who are feeling exactly like i am.... Bring on the support i say!!!

Well ladies i can finally breathe cause we are PUPO!!!! Thankfully both of our little embies survived the thaw and are back where they belong time will tell but i am so relieved to get the transfer will prob start to panic of results next wk!!! So here i am under docs orders been a couch potatoe for next 5 days with j running around like a headless chicken catering to my every needs :lol:

Will keep ye informed plus will be dying to know how you ladies are doing.

gi xxx
7th IVF finally our precious miracle girl Kayla born 24/11/10, 8th IVF FET Sept 2012 BFP!!!
Its TRIPLETS!!!!
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Postby *Ert* » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:23 am

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I have not been on in awhile. I got busy with teaching starting back up. It was kind of nice, it kept my mind busy on other things.

gi--I am so happy your transfer went well. I hope the next 2 weeks goes by fast for you and that you get a positive test.

jenice-- your cycle is coming up. Just stay positive and relax. I have come to the conclusion as long as we are taking care of ourselves everything else is up the the doctors and God.

starwishes--I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is hard and I know how you feel about getting all excited and then finding out it is over. Don't feel silly about being happy when you found out. We deserve to feel that way even if it is for a short time.

We did get our chromosome test back from the miscarriage. It came back normal. So my doctor said it was a normal pregnancy. He still suggested we each get a chromosome test. I went today to get the blood test for that. I have to go to this other place not my doctors to do it and when I got there they said they did not have the vials needed so they couldn't even do it. I was so annoyed because I made the appointment and left work right at 3:30 to get there on time. The girl who draws the blood pretty much knows me and my situation because I had to go there when I was on heparin. She said "oh did I tell you I am pregnant, I am 12 weeks and didn't even know. It is twins, it it terrible" I wanted to punch her. How could she say that to me. My husband and I would do anything to be in her situation and she thinks it is terrible. Then I found out someone else is pregnant. It is just so hard to hear it when we have been trying for almost 2 years and all these other people can have sex once and get pregnant. So annoying. I came home and just cried and cried. How can it be so easy for some and so terribly hard for others?
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Postby starwishes » Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:45 pm

Hello ladies!
It's good to hear how you are all still keeping.
Gi - I am delighted your little embies came through the thaw and are nestling into their new little home. Definitely keep couch-potato-ing for as long as possible! Sending loads and loads of sticky dust to you!

Ert - That's a relief that everything was normal with the pregnancy - from what I hear that means you have a very good chance of getting pregnant again soon. I totally understand what it's like when someone moans about being pregnant when we would do anything to be in the same position! I have had several friends who have got pregnant after just trying once month - and some of them wouldn't be as fit and healthy as my DH and I - it seems so random who gets pregnant and why!
The only comfort (if you can call it that) which I take from the hardships that we have to go through is that perhaps we learn a lot more about ourselves and how to cope through difficult times in a way that other women don't. It has to be character building if anything!

Thinking of you all and sending lots and lots of PMA and fertile vibes your way! Have a lovely weekend!
xxxxx
p.s. Am Irish too... and a teacher! I can't believe how many teachers are on this site. It would appear that there is something about teachers and infertility...hmmm...
Me- 35
DH-41
'unexplained infertility'
TTC - 3 1/2 years
5 failed IUI attempts
IVF #1 July '09 - BFP m/c 6 weeks
IVF #2 Dec '09 - BFP m/c 9 weeks
FET Oct '10 - BFN
starwishes
Member
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:29 pm
Location: london

Postby gi » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:04 pm

Ert sorry to hear you had to go thro. that conversation with your nurse she has no tact!! I would also be furious esp as she knows your situation some people say very insensitive things i remember j's dad saying "sure do you really need children" i was sooo upset but this is a typical comment coming from someone who has children. I am glad your chromosone test came back clear, we didnt get a test done on our baby as in Ire they dont do that till your 3rd miscarriage but we did get individual chromosones tests done - they arent done in Ireland anymore so we had to get them sent to London - they to came back clear. My best friend has had 4 miscarriages in a row including twins and all tests were clear and thankfully she is now 14 wks pregnant - it gives me hope that we too can do it. Please dont give up hope j and i are trying 7 yrs next month and i know its only a matter of time before it happens though fingers crossed it will be very soon!!!!

Starwishes thanks for your wishes - you are irish too sure i completly forgot that sure werent you just visiting recently!!!

So here i am bored already and its only day 1 :roll: I dont think i have prayed as hard as i am doing now after getting a bfp in April i am willing my little embies to keep fighting.

gi xxx
7th IVF finally our precious miracle girl Kayla born 24/11/10, 8th IVF FET Sept 2012 BFP!!!
Its TRIPLETS!!!!
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