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A miracle

Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.

A miracle

Postby Angela37firsttimeivf » Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:17 am

Never in my life thought I would be moving to this board!

I still can't believe I got a BFP yesterday.

So of course now I'm ecstatic on the one hand, on the other am really nervous and scared.

I'm bursting to tell people, but know it makes sense to keep it quiet as long as possible. It's so difficult, especially having a husband who is even more cautious and has just told me on the phone that he doesn't want people knowing until the autumn. I don't think I can wait that long, as I'm really bad at keeping secrets. People close to me will just know I'm happy about something.

I was thinking to wait until we see a heartbeat or something. My first scan is next week.

Any advice?
Me and DH: 42

2006: 2 ectopics
2007-08: 2 IVFs, 4 FETs: all BFNs
approved for adoption
2009: IVF 3 - BFP!
Adam born 26 April 2010
5 frosties left
2012: FET - BFP! miscarriage at 8 weeks
2 remaining frosties didn't survive
Gearing up for foster care
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Postby nancy1 » Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:25 am

First of all, congrats on the pregnancy!!! :-) It is really a time to celebrate after all that you have gone through. To tell or not tell is really a personal choice. I waited until week 14 to break the news to people, especially since I lost one of my twins at week 6. As I said, no right or wrong answers. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy! Congrats again!
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Postby cymplicity27 » Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:17 pm

Congratulations!!! And welcome to this side of the board :D

Well my dh was the opposite of yours. He wanted to tell everyone he knew immediately! I waited until we heard the heartbeats to tell my family plus we wanted to wait to see how many "stuck". How many did you transfer? I told my coworkers around week 9 because my boss knew from the beginning and was about to explode trying to keep the secret. Everyone else (friends) found out after 12 weeks. It actually wasn't as hard to keep a secret as I thought because I was so terrified of something happening. Every time I got ready to tell someone I clammed up!

I think waiting at least until seeing the heartbeat is a good idea.

Congrats again!
Cynthia - 31, blocked tubes, DH - 26, perfect
1st IVF - 3/2009, ER - 3/26, ET - 3/29 BFP!!

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Postby Monkey Girl » Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:59 pm

Angela, congrats again!

This is a tumultuous time, you will be nervous for different reasons now (good ones, of course!). I think the other comments about waiting for a first heartbeat are good. Of course, it is your choice, but I did wait until my 7 week ultrasound and then only told our parents and close siblings, as we knew it was really there and alive and kicking well. We are now waiting until after 13 weeks to tell a few others, and then the rest only when I start to show - again, a personal choice. But I can tell you that seeing that little one kicking and moving again at 12 weeks really did help it all sink in, so I'm happy we got to see that before we tell more people.

I also agree it isn't as hard to keep a secret as you might think after a while... you'll be spending lots of time researching this and that and learning all about your little one's stage of development. Buy a good book about pregnancy and immerse yourself in that - it helped us. :lol:

Good luck making your decision!
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Postby Tara2009 » Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:16 pm

Congratulation on your BFP!!! What a journey!!

If I were you, I would wait until I hear the heart beat to tell ONLY the close family members like parents, in-laws, sisters, brothers and then I would wait until 12 weeks to tell friends and co-workers.

For now, celeberate this happiness with your DH.

Tara.
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Postby riogirl71 » Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:49 pm

I agree, celebrate with DH and tell each other every night! Then wait for 12 weeks, which is what we did!
me 39 + DH 46 low mot - chemo
#3 IVF Lost one twin at 8 wks
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#2 IVF May 2010 Ectopic
#1 IVF
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Postby Angela37firsttimeivf » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:02 am

Hey thanks for the advice everyone, it mirrors what we've been thinking. Tell close people once we've seen a heartbeat, then tell others after 3 months. I'm so nervous. Is is normal to worry about miscarriage? What about exercise, I'm used to doing quite a lot (jogging, weights, aerobics etc). Is it okay to carry on with all of that? Questions, questions..

Cymplicity - we transferred 3.

Congrats on all of your pregnancies!!
Me and DH: 42

2006: 2 ectopics
2007-08: 2 IVFs, 4 FETs: all BFNs
approved for adoption
2009: IVF 3 - BFP!
Adam born 26 April 2010
5 frosties left
2012: FET - BFP! miscarriage at 8 weeks
2 remaining frosties didn't survive
Gearing up for foster care
Angela37firsttimeivf
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Posts: 150
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:51 am
Location: Germany

Postby riogirl71 » Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:43 pm

I think the exercise depends on the type of pregnancy you have and your OB can give you guidelines on that. As far as we were concerned, I did not do any kind of ab work and only did walking, no strenous exercising, but that was just a personal decision. As far as fear of miscarriage, yes! I was terrified of miscarrying, then you get terrified at all the tests to make sure your baby is healthy and does not have any anomalies, the list never ends because then you get scared of SIDS!!! :) But that is what mommies are all about, worrying about their babies!
Congratulations!
me 39 + DH 46 low mot - chemo
#3 IVF Lost one twin at 8 wks
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#2 IVF May 2010 Ectopic
#1 IVF
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Postby tortillachip » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:42 pm

Angela: I totally understand how you feel. We told family and close friends because they knew we were doing IVF...then we will wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone else. It's completely up to you.

Riogirl: I know what you mean about being worried that something will go wrong.. FYI: a fan in the baby's room cuts the risk of SIDS by 50-60 percent...at least I read that somewhere.
ME: 41, hydrosalpinx
HUBBY: 39, Perfect!

IVF 1 & 2 BFN
IVF 3 July 2009 BFP! BETA 1: 207 2: 376 3: 932
IVF 4 & 5 July, Sept 2012 BFN

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