So did anyone see the Dr. Phil episode last week on infertility? They had 3 couples... and although I'm childless something the woman, whom already has 1 child and is fighting with her husband about IVF for a second, said really struck home with me. I can't remember exactly what she said but it was something to the effect of - I feel like our family is incomplete... there's still a child waiting to be born that I already have love for!
Bottom line is, I've been through the wringer for the last 5 years and among other treatments I've had 2 failed IVFs. DH was totally opposed to IVF from the beginning and fought me tooth and nail during the second one. I'm ready to try again but he's against it. I KNOW he doesn't want children as much as me. But he also uses the excuse that the fertility drugs are causing my body harm.
I don't know what to do? I feel the same as the woman on Dr. Phil... like there are little beings waiting to be born that I already know and have love for. Maybe the timing just hasn't been right. I know there are plenty of children waiting for adoption but its not the same as having your own. Who wouldn't want to know what their biological children might look like? Something DH and I created? how smart they'd be? funny? cute?
And I feel like DH makes me feel guilty for wanting to experience pregnancy instead of just accepting (a) adoption, or (b) a childless life. He'd be totally content traveling the world or sleeping late on the weekends without kids waking him up. But I feel like my life is incomplete and bearing a child is such a natural thing to do that I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to keep trying.
Well, I know this post is getting a little lengthy. So thanks for taking the time to read it. Any advice?