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Second baby worries, anyone?

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Second baby worries, anyone?

Postby sharishu » Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:22 am

DH and I are gearing up for our 2nd IVF, and couldn't be more excited. However, the thought of taking care of another baby scares me a little. I want to expand our family, but think to myself 'can I actually muster the energy for another one'. Any parents of 2 out there ever feel that way?


Shari xo
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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Postby tigersuz22 » Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:01 pm

Hi Shari,
We just had our first baby through IVF in June - she was 2 months premature and I had a really difficult pregnancy. We've talked at length about when and if to have another baby and I'm right there with you - not only am I worried about having the energy but I'm also worried about complications with the pregnancy and losing a baby. Truthfully, the only reason we would have another is so that our daughter wouldn't be an only child. I don't know that I can muster up the strength to go through it all again! Plus, we're so grateful to have one and be able to devote all of our time and energy to her that it's hard to think about having to split that time. And I definitely don't being so sleep deprived as I was the first few months. :)

Best of luck to you!! My fingers are crossed!

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Postby k » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:01 pm

Hi Shari

Inbetween typing this post, trying to get my nearly 4 year old to stay in bed and hoping my 13 month old doesnt keep waking again tonight I thought I might qualify a little to reply!

Having two IS hard work, one was a lot easier to handle between two of us! However, although you do get the sibling rivallry, there is nothing better than seeing your two gorgeous children giggling at each other. Seeing my daughter proudly introduce her brother to everyone and I have to say for me and my husband, feeling complete as a family.

The age gap we have feels right (2 years 8 months) not planned, as Nathan was completely unexpected! Seeing other parents with a shorter age gap I can see its a lot harder (Although there will be advantages for a shorter age gap, Im sure). If you also have a lot of support from your husbands, it helps as well. We were lucky in that both children were relatively easy babies (Maybe why Im now struggling with my son waking a lot at the moment!)

It does get easier as they get older, my 4 year old generally sleeps well and can entertain herself happily now. She has her moments with the major tantrums every now and again but makes up for it with her delightful little ways most of the time!

Good luck with your 2nd IVF, I hope it all goes well

Me 36 DH 33 Male factor due to chemotherapy. IVF\ICSI May 05 +ve.
Jenna Grace born 19.1.06 then natural BFP!
Nathan Alexander born 2.10.08
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Postby sharishu » Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:50 am

Thanks for your responses!

Suzanne- Congrats on your baby girl! I can totally understand your hestitation regarding a second baby. Good luck with your decision. Oh and by the way, I didn't even start THINKING about another one until about 2 months ago when he turned one. The memory of all the pain I endured was still too fresh until then.

Kim- Sounds like a happy, complete family you have there. All the things you mentioned about the beauty of siblings is what is driving me to forge ahead. And thank G-d, I do have my husband's support; he's great with our son.

Enjoy your angels!
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

Posts: 538
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Israel, moved 6 years ago (+-) from NYC

Postby shaf » Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:48 pm

Hi girls,

I am also in the same situation, infact my DS is 4 and I am mentally prepared for the 2nd. I too used to think how I am gonna have the energy to bring up another one. But then I think if you have one you can take care too.
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Postby jennywit » Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:50 am

Sharishu-don't want to scare you but if you think you want more than one-I say start...the sooner the better-My 1st was conceived with clomid alone and I selfishly thought it would happen just that easy with the second...no such luck-much heartbreak and many thousands of dollars later I realized that I shouldn't have tried to wait so long for the perfect time because it didn't happen when I wanted it too...I also have to tell you that although it is overwhelming-there is no better feeling than watching my 4 yr old try to entertain my 7 month old-My son is in love with his little brother and we are so grateful for him too!!!!
DS#1-Stephen-born 8/05- (natural)then TTC 2 1/2 yrs- IVF#1w/ICSI-07/08-BFP! DS#2-Matthew- born 04/03/09!
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Second baby worries anyone

Postby Preeddy09 » Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:51 pm

my sis and i really dont see each other that much, and i dont have much exposure to kids if any. i get nervous around babies anyway, but that doesnt mean i dont care. i just want to show her support and be a good aunt.
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