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Lost my daughter at 18 weeks.

Forum for those who have lost their babies through miscarriage, neonatal or stillbirth.

Postby shikha goel » Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:46 pm

[quote="souris"]Hello Girls


hi souris really it was too hard to bear such losses but again it was happened with u what was the cause regular monitoring andstrict bed rest can do some help for us as doctors advises but then what was wrong with u n listen dear options are always there v can adopt babies are all god's gift accept it with pride n love.....life will change miraculously u know in this way we are doing some good for someone who doesn't have any caretaker.......n u willl feel like babies will start to look like uuu gradually. :idea:
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Postby souris » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:19 pm

Shikha,

Unfortunatelay, adoption is not an option for us. I live in France and there are strict rules, and it makes it very difficult and long (years ) to adopt a child.
Also, my husband is 56 years old and for many, this is too old to adopt . We have been trying for 3 years with no luck...

I would love to give a home and a family to a child, but for the French government we are not good enough!

And for my babies, all was well until my cervix started to open... It just happen with multiple pregnancies...

Bye for now girls,
it has been a long hard day but dh is working at home at the moment and I am so happy because he is there for me, it makes things a bit easier..

xxx
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
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Postby souris » Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:27 pm

test
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
souris
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Postby shikha goel » Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:37 am

okkk souris if adoptionot an option in france4 so dont looose faith in god he is great and one day we will b proud mothers very soon till then we should live for ourselves.....and keep ourself happy all time..... :lol:
shikha goel
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Postby baylorbear33 » Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:11 pm

Ladies, I just want to tell you all that it will get better. I, too, went through a very similar experience last year. We lost our twin baby girls due to pre-term labor at 19 weeks. My water broke at the house and we lost both babies later at the hospital because they were just too small. They were healthy and growing and we still have no explanation as to what caused this to happen. I was absolutely miserable for weeks, and to this day, when I read about similar experiences, it just tears me up. It has been almost 16 months since our loss, ans while it is certainly something that I still think about daily, it has gotten easier to manage. I am also proof that you can continue through the IVF with success as I am a little over 28 weeks with a baby boy. This pregnancy has been very smooth thus far, although I am considered high risk and see my OB weekly. Please know that my thoughts are with you and I wish you the very best for the future.
Age 39, DH 37
1st IVF 5/08-Lost Twin Girls @ 19 wks
FET 4/09-M/C @ 5 1/2 weeks
FET 6/09-BFP
Owen Robert born 3/3/2010, 10 lbs 4 oz
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Thanks!!!!

Postby arrojulnic » Fri Dec 25, 2009 10:00 pm

Thanks Baylorbear33 for your message. Its almost 2 months since I lost my daughter and it has been really hard, but it is getting easier. The holiday has been really tough, but hearing that you are gonna have your little boy soon makes me so HAPPY for you, I pray for him every day that he continues to grow and thrive. I feel hopeful since I read your response. Thank you so much, it was like sitting down in a coffee shop and talking to you in person. You made me feel so much better, all you girls here are great, such wonderful support. MERRY CHRISTMAS (if you celebrate) and HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Me 40y/o Partner 43
TTC 3years.
FET 9/08 & 10/08 BFN, IUI 11/08 BFN,
IVF 7/29 BFP Beta 90,218,6421, sono 8/19
M/C @ 18 weeks 11/11/09
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Postby sciteacher77 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:46 pm

Hi Ladies,
I just saw this post and thought I would chime in. I too have an incompetent cervix and lost my daughter at 23 weeks after laying in the hospital for 2 weeks trying to save her. It is devastating... My husband and I did IVF to conceive her and we felt like she was our miracle. It will be 2 years this January since our loss and my heart still aches for her. However, I am here to tell you that having a living child after is possible. My son is almost 10 months old and napping in the other room. After my loss I looked into all kinds of cerclages and decided to go with the most effective type - the TAC - trans-abdominal cerclage. It was my miracle. Dr. Haney in Chicago placed mine, he is one of 2 leading experts in the US. My pregnancy with my son was picture perfect. If you need to talk - PM me. If you are in the states, send me your number and I'll call you if you want. I know it can help to talk to someone who has been there.
Hugs,
Michelle
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Postby Dagny » Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:01 pm

Hello Ladies

I'd like to offer my condolences to all of you who have lost a baby or babies after getting that miracle BFP...

I am another bereaved mother and long standing member of this message board (in fact I got Marcus to set up this Babies loved and lost section) and haven't posted on here in many months/years...

I too, lost a beautiful baby girl at 23+5 weeks and she couldn't be saved as she had a severe heart defect and she sadly died in my arms. I went into labour 3 days after having an amnio... I conceived her after my 3rd IVF and was devastated obviously.

I went on to get a BFP on my 5th tmt only to lose that baby at 9 weeks.

On my 6th tmt I conceived girl - boy twins... My waters broke with twin 1 at 16 weeks and I spent 6 weeks in hospital on bed rest to try and save one or both but at 20 weeks I gave birth to my daughter, still born and perfect. Two more weeks of bed rest and on antibiotics but sadly at 22 weeks my son was born and again I had to hold my baby and watch him die in my arms...

By now I was getting older and more despondent... Was I ever going to be a mummy?

My 7th IVF was another BFP and at 10 weeks I had a cervical stitch put in (I didn't have an incompetent cervix but consultant wanted to put one in regardless) - I gave birth by c-section at 38 weeks to a beautiful baby girl and got to keep her - she'll be 3 in a few weeks but she is testament to keeping the faith, being positive and never giving up no matter what God and life throws at us...

7 years of treatment
7 IVF
Miracle born in 2007
7lb 5oz

Lucky number is number 7 obviously!

I just wanted to share my story to give some of you ladies who are struggling to go on that you must keep on going and don't give up!

Good luck and lots of baby dust and PMI - BE POSITIVE and strong!

Hugs Dagny and my miracle xxx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny
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Postby gi » Wed Jan 13, 2010 8:35 pm

Good God Dagny what a heartbreaking but amazing journey. You are one brave lady and a pure inspiration to all us ladies, your drive and determination is absolutly mindblowing and i am so thrilled that thro. all your heartache and tears shed you finally have your little baby. Here i am also trying 7 yrs and 7th attempt mabe your story is an omen!!!!
Have a great life and thanks for setting up this thread and giving us faith and hope that it can happen.

gi xxxx
7th IVF finally our precious miracle girl Kayla born 24/11/10, 8th IVF FET Sept 2012 BFP!!!
Its TRIPLETS!!!!
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Postby Dagny » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:52 pm

Hi Gi

I truly hope it is an omen and that lucky number 7 is lucky for you too...

I will cross everything for a positive and happy ending.

I do think that sometimes God tests us to see how strong some of us are and once we've proved ourselves He gives us our reward - In our case a baby!

As my daughter is reaching her 3rd birthday I'm getting all the usual questions of whether we're going to try for another one. I know I am totally blessed and am not greedy - Chloe is my miracle and my reward for being strong. I don't need to have anymore... (Don't get me wrong I'd love to have another but I know I'd be pushing my luck). I just wish people would understand that and stop asking me that daft question!

Good luck and loads of baby dust!

Dagny xxx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny
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Postby Alison » Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:00 pm

Dear Dagny - I so very rarely come to these boards now (have moved on in many ways) but seeing your name just wanted to tell you again how moved I was by your story - and that I cannot quite believe it is now nearly 6 years since Katelyn arrived too soon. You were always so strong and generous of spirit, and it is very like you to return to post encouragement to others.

Wishing you and your family every happiness

Alison

(Now mother to three beautiful daughters through adoption)
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Re: Lost my daughter at 18 weeks.

Postby abbadavis » Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:06 am

That is very sad, don't worry you will have a nice baby soon, just keep hope and don't get weak.
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