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Newbie from Nebraska

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Newbie from Nebraska

Postby Baylee308 » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:23 am

Hello, I am so thankful I found this website. My husband and I have done 2 IUI's with no success, and finally IVF in which we were able to conceive 1 baby. All levels were good and saw the baby's heartbeat at our 6 week ultrasound. Two weeks later at our 8 week ultrasound, the baby had no heartbeat. We were devastated! Our Dr. had no idea what went wrong and I was scheduled for a D&C the next morning. We were so confused and heartbroken. I've never felt that much saddness. I didn't quite no how to feel-one day I'm pregnant, and the next day I was to have my baby removed. Our Dr. said a D&C would be best instead of waiting for me to miscarry naturally. Even though the baby had passed, he was still inside me, he was still our baby. I couldn't believe this was happening!
I couldn't hide my emotions while they were prepping me for surgery the next day. I new that when I went to the hospital I was pregnant, and when I left I wouldn't be. The surgery went well and I was back home that afternoon. I took the whole next week off from work, and it's a good thing I did. There was no way, physically, mentallly or emotionally I could be around anyone. It took me a full week to greive, cry and figure out why this happened. That's when I found this website. We are from a small town and really didn't have anyone to talk to. Our fertility Dr. is 4hrs away and I couldn't call them every time I needed some comfort. I have friends that have miscarried, and I know a loss is a loss. But when you have went through all the fertility treatments, meds, trips, money etc. it's a little different. It was so comforting knowing that so many people on this website have went through this and so much more. Many questions that I have had have been answered here. And even better, I have hope from reading other people's story that we still may have a chance. Everytime I start feeling down, I come here. I find comfort. I know that it will take time, but time takes time. We have a 7 year old son that we conceived naturally the first time we tried. This has been harder on him than I ever expected. We didn't keep any secrets from him, how could we with all the injections and Dr visits I've had. He doesn't understand why one minute he's going to have a sibling, and the next he doesn't. I 2 frozen eggs left, and I believe within the next few months we will try IVF again. If it doesn't take, I 'm not sure what we will do. I know you're not suppose to think that far in advance. But when you're 36 who knows who many more viable eggs I can produce. I only produced 4 the first time. I am a Christian woman and pray often, but I don't think I have ever prayed so much as I have in the last two weeks. I need strength and guidence as to what I'm suppose to do. I don't know how much heartache our family can take. Maybe we are only suppose to have one child, I don't know. If anyone has any advice for us, or if your heartache is similar to ours, please let me know.
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