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What to tell when people ask about IVF - BFP with Twins

Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.

What to tell when people ask about IVF - BFP with Twins

Postby tc4474 » Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:29 pm

Hi Ladies,

Can I ask for some suggestions? We are getting ready to share our news of our BFP with twins with our friends and family. We anticipate that because I am 35 and there are twins, we will get questions like "did you have help?" or "are they IVF babies"?

We have decided that we want to keep our IVF journey to ourselves - not because there is anything wrong with it (I love what IVF is doing for us) but I really dont want to go down the road of explaining our fertility problems or have people think we have all sorts of $$ to pay for help.

For those of you who have also decided not to tell people about IVF, what did you tell people who asked these types of questions?

FYI - My husbands cousin also has twins so we have that excuse, it's just that our twins are not identical.

Thanks for any input you can give.
ME - 35, DH - 38 Low Morp, Motility

IVF #1 Nov/Dec 2009 - BFP! TWINS!
12/18 Beta #1 = 245, 12/20 #2 = 455

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Postby JG_379 » Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:38 pm

I totally understand what you mean. I haven't had too many people ask me if i've had help or used IVF, I think they typically ask "do twins run in your family?". To this, I just respond "yes they do" and I leave it at that, some people respond "they do now!". You could probably get away with using your husband's cousin as an excuse, but some people might actually know that twins have nothing to do with the man and his family background (it has to run on the woman's side because if they're fraternal, ovulating twice in one month has nothing to do with man and his history, it has to be the woman and her family's history of ovulating twice/conceiving twins--if that helps), so be prepared for that! Not that i'm encouraging you to lie or anything, but I think i'm going to change my answer to "I have a big extended family, so i'm sure there are twins in there, but I also have a history of ovulating two eggs in the same month, so I guess that was probably a factor." Hopefully they won't want to know more than that.
Me-30, DH-30
August 09- IVF #1 BFP!!!
It's Twins!
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Postby DillysGirl » Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:15 pm

I think all the twin mommies can relate to this question! For me, my Grandma's grandma had two sets of twins so I just say that yes we have some way down the line. Although, I sometimes just say that we are just blessed, which is the answer that feels best to me. Technically speaking the older a woman gets the more likely it is for her to ovulate multiple eggs and to have twins naturally with no family history.

Congrats on your twins and however you decide to tell everyone, dont forget to enjoy the moment!!!
Me- 31
DH-38 CAVD

IVF/ICSI #1- August 2009 BFN :(
FET #1 10/09/09 BFP!
Betas: 150, 267, 4380
u/s: 11/10/09 It's Twins!!
Halen Peter and Hendrix Harte born 05/18/10
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Postby beachbaby » Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:55 am

Hi, Very difficult one, i also said they run in the family, as they do my mum has cousins which are twins.
Just remember twins miss a generation if they do run in familes. At my local twin club there are around 10 families and only 3 have had treatment, so thats 7 naturals of those only 1 set (identicals) run in the family exaclty to how it should be: always misses a generation and goes Male/ female alternately. For those of you already with a singleton, it is more common, at twins club we have 4 families who have older children.
Good luck yo you all in your pregnancy, being a twin mum is a blessing.
Me 39, DH 40. TTC 5years
4th times a charm,1-IVF, 3xFET's, 2 chemical
Twin boys born 9/7/08
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