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Fab to see you

Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

Fab to see you

Postby Alison » Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:18 pm

Just a quickie to say how lovely it was to see you all again today. Wishing everyone all the very best over the coming months - and most importantly make sure you let us know what's happening. Lou, we'll expect that email from South Africa!

Much love

Alison xx
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Postby Grace » Fri Mar 26, 2004 1:15 pm

Hi girls
Just echoing Alison's words really. Lovely to see you, and really enjoyed our get together. My sister is arriving from Irealnd later for the weekend. Am busily preparing and can't wait to see her.
Look forward to keeping in touch and seeing you all again soon.
Love
Gracexx
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Postby Amanda A » Fri Mar 26, 2004 5:34 pm

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to say that it was really really nice to meet you all yesterday! Browns was a good choice, very nice food!!

Hope you all enjoy the weekend. Grace, have a nice time with your sister. Ruby sends her love to Oscar!!

Talk again soon, take care, love Amanda xx
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Postby beckym » Sat Apr 24, 2004 11:45 am

Can't believe I missed it again!!!! will try and log in more often!

beckym xxx
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Postby louli » Mon May 10, 2004 9:47 am

Hi girls,
well we did not quite disappear off the fae of the earth - we just moved house, lost our broadband connection, went to South Africa for 2 weeks, had egg donation, came home ,got broadband back and noe I'm back to tell you that sadly it did not work for us!
Great clinic in South Africa - lovely people and all semed to go ok. I did not even have to have a GA for the ET which was a relief. We really thought it would work .When we got back to Devon had a blood test at the doctor's locally. Had to wait 3 days for the results - nightmare, and then the receptionist said to DH - result is fine - it's negative. He had to tell her that actually that was not fine!! Obviously more used to people being pleased not to be pregnant.
Have not got a job at the moment and feel v. guilty about that. Not sure where we go from here. We have still got 3 frozen embryos in South Africa but survival rate after thawing is 50% so could fly all the way there and end up with none to put back and also sl. lower chance of pregnancy with frozen embryos.
We may try Spain. How are you all doing? Alison, have you finished work for the summer yet? When do you go off on your travels?
Grace, how are you doing? Any more attempts in the pipeline?
Luce, hope you are enjoying life.
Jen, what are your plans?
Amanda, yes, the gestone injections did hurt but managed to do 3 weeks worth in one buttock so was quite pleased about that !!!
Hope you get this as I think I should have started a new topic.
All the very best to you all,
Lou
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Postby Grace » Wed May 12, 2004 2:45 pm

Lou
Just wanted to say how I sorry I was to hear your news. I have been thinking of you and really was hoping that things would go your way.
I know you must be feeling pretty horrible at the moment. It is just so hard to get so very close and yet nothing. I really do understand that feeling.
Don't feel bad about having time off at the moment, you need it I am sure. It takes time to get over this.
I wish I had some words of advice or consolation but all I can say is I am thinking of you both.
Are you still on the waiting list in London? I think you said that would come up during the summer?

I am doing okay. Not really facing up to anything. Will try again( I think) but can't face it just yet. It is nice just to have some time which is normal and can't really face the idea of yet another failure and all the sadness that entails. We are off to Greece next week and am really, really looking forward to it. Hopefully we will try to meet up when I get back. Don't know how you are fixed but it would be fantastic to see you.

Keep in touch Lou and just take it easy and be gentle with yourselves.
I am really sorry.
Love
Gracexxxx
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Postby jen » Sat May 15, 2004 1:31 pm

Hi Lou

I'm really sorry that it hasn't worked out for you both - you're sounding strong though I know it's hard.

You make sure you enjoy the summer in your new home and don't be feeling guilty for not working - life's too short and I bet there's lots to keep you busy.

I'll be thinking of you whatever you decide to do.

We're hopefully going to start again in June - I've been taking humira (a steroid for NK cells), 2 injections, the second one is due tomorrow and then more blood cells to see if the NK cells have lowered, if they have then I'll be able to start treatment. AF is due around 10th June so it's just a matter of waiting for the go-ahead.

Really busy at work - just come home in the evenings and veg out in front of the telly. Will definitely make a plan to go part-time depending on the result of this treatment.

Grace - hope you have a lovely time in Greece next week, holidays are really good for us all. We were due to see friends in the US in June but that will be put on hold now.

Hope everyone else is in good form - we'll need a summer get-together soon.

Take care
Love Jen xx
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Postby Alison » Sun May 16, 2004 10:37 am

Hi Lou - good to hear from you again. I'm so sorry though that it hasn't worked for you this time. I'd been really hoping that as you hadn't posted for a while it was because you'd got a positive and were waiting to get over the first couple of scans etc. to tell us. As the others have said, don't feel bad about not working at the moment. Try and enjoy your new home and hopefully some summer weather. Although I know that's easier said than done - sometimes work provides a good distraction.

Jen - good to hear from you too, and that your next round of treatment is now within sight. How are you feeling about it?

As for me, well we'll be setting off for our travels round Europe after work on 2 July, so not long now (34 days at work to be precise!) The plan is to go for 7 weeks or so to France, Italy and Greece. We've got some bits of accommodation booked, and other bits we'll make up as we go along. We've also decided to fly back for 48 hours in the middle as one of my closest friends (someone I've known since nursery school!) is getting married, and I really don't want to miss it, and I think it will be pretty cool to turn up with a tan and then be disappearing back to Italy the next day!

In the meantime I'm working mad hours at work trying to get as much as possible done before I go, but that's fine as I enjoy it.

All this doesn't leave much time to think seriously about whether or not to go for tmt again. As Luce said on another thread, you can go along for a certain amount of time diverting yourself with other things, but it doesn't really go away. I've got a follow up appointment at the ARGC at the end of the month, but I can't imagine we'll make a decision til we're back after our summer travels. Certainly at the moment I'm not prepared to give up the freedom I've got to make plans without having to worry about AFs and tmt cycles - which I'm sure sounds incredible selfish, but you'll know what I mean.

Talking of selfish, I've written far more about me than to anyone else -sorry about that! Take care and hopefully meet up again soon?

Alison xx
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Postby Amanda A » Tue May 18, 2004 3:18 pm

Hi Everyone,
I really must get around to changing my name properly on here!!

Lou,
I am so sorry to hear your news, it took a lot of courage to make the decision to go to South Africa and try the egg donation route and it seems so unfair that it didn't work out.

Forgive me if I keep this breif but I just wanted to say that although I haven't posted for a while , you have all been on my mind a lot.

I have tried to stay away for a bit because we are in the middle of another cycle (I test on Monday) and it has been hard! We started off with 16 eggs but over half were immature and by the time PGD had been done we were down to 1 embryo to go back on day 5. My head has been all over the place and my nerves are in shreds so the last thing I want to do is start to compare with other people going through cycles on here, but you know whats it's like once you log on, so I'm going to log off!!

Love & talk to you all soon, Amanda XX
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Postby Alison » Sat May 22, 2004 4:13 pm

Hi Amanda, lovely to hear from you again. God its tough enough waiting til day 5 without having the PGD too - keeping everything crossed that this remaining embie is the perfect one and will do it for you. Do let us know your news on Monday.

Love

Alison xx
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Postby Alison » Thu May 27, 2004 9:56 pm

First of all, just wanted to let Amanda know I'm thinking of you and hoping that maybe you don't want to tempt fate by posting good news just yet, and not that its been another disappointment.

As for me, went back to the clinic today for the first time in 6 months (pretty much exactly). V wierd to go back. Saw the big man himself, who was as lovely as ever, but basically said, we don't know why it hasn't worked, we've tried everything and can't suggest anything new. I don't know where that leaves me in terms of making a decision - he encouraged us to try with our frosties but warned us as there were only two we may well have nothing to put back, and I guess we will do this as I'm not really going to throw them away. Didn't enjoy going back there though and am really in no hurry at all to go again even with frosties.

That's all for now - take care, love

Alison xx
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Postby Amanda A » Fri May 28, 2004 8:34 am

Hi Alison & anyone else checking in at the moment!

I don't have good news I am afraid, we tested neg on Monday. Can anyone tell me why 2 abnormal embryos can implant & 1 that we know is normal doesn't?!!

We go back on June 15th to see what they say. Already I think we will go again because we did say that we would do 2 this year. Am I mad??!!!

This has been a real week of it for us, following Monday's news, Darren's Dad then got taken into hosptial on Wednesday with heart problems, so he had to rush down to Kent. He will need either a bypass or a new valve we are not sure at the moment but I am worried about Darren, I hate to see him under so much stress and his Dad has a business that Darren will now need to try and sell off for him as he won't be able to work anymore.

On a more positive note, I was asked to be a godmother yesterday, which I am thrilled about!!! Of course my friends were worried about asking me because of our problems but I am so glad that they did!

Alison, I am glad that you got to see Mr T, it's so much better to see him isn't it. I suppose that the frosties won't go anywhere so it is just working out when you feel ready to go again. It's so hard isn't it, building yourself up ready to take it all again.

On Monday we went straight off to get some holiday brochures and I think we might have a week away around 21st June (maybe Las Vegas or New York) but it depends on what is happening with Darren's dad.

I would love to met up again at some point, maybe we can work through people's hols, treatment cycles and work ties and get something in our diaries soon?

Love to you all, Amanda X

P.S. I have just eaten 3 big chunks of toblerone for breakfast!! I seem to be hitting the self destruct button with food and alcohol at the moment!
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Postby Alison » Fri May 28, 2004 10:41 am

This is going to have to be quick cos I'm at work but Amanda just wanted to let you know that I'm really sorry about your news, and about Darren's Dad.

Meeting up again soon would be great. Let's try to do something soon, perhaps before Jen gets too involved in tmt? What's the week of 7 June looking like for people? I couldn't do the Thursday but could do the other evenings - sadly my summer plans mean there'll be no more afternoons off for me! What suits others?

Alison xx

PS - Amanda I'm appalled at your behaviour! I may have hit the bottle (and even the fags!) over the last few months, but I've never sunk so low as to have chocolate for breakfast!!
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Postby luce » Fri Jun 04, 2004 6:48 am

Hi girls

As ever, it's been too long since I posted, and even looked at the boards, but you have all been in my thoughts. Let me catch up....

Louli - really sorry it didn't work out in SA. It was a really positive and brave thing you did to go there, and it's so horrible that it didn't turn out the way we all hoped. By now you have hopefully settled into the house a bit more, and you're no longer feeling guilty about not working...the good weather should be enjoyed if you can get out in it!! Take a little bit of time off for yourselves, and then make a decision about what the next steps are

Amanda - am also gutted it didn't work for you either, but I do admire the positive attitude re: planning your next one. Go for it girl!! I cannot believe the hand that is dealt sometimes. Good luck with the follow up and with the plans for the next treatment. Oh, and don't feel guilty about any indulgences, you deserve them

Jen - where are you? I'm guessing you've started or are about to start the next treatment. If so, hope it's going well, and that you're thinking lots of positive thoughts. Fingers crossed

Alison - well done for going to your followup. Am glad the big guy was honest with you. I think it's the right thing to forget it all for a while and just enjoy those weeks off, then work out what you're going to do when you get back.

That leaves Grace - are you back from your hols? If so, how was it? Are you still busy enjoying the freedom of not thinking about treatment, or has the little IVF angel on your shoulder been whispering in your ear the past few weeks?

And finally me...am a lot more stable than the last time I posted on the site, thank goodness, and have been enjoying the weather, time with Pete, working part-time etc etc. Really don't have anything momentous to report, although that's a positive thing I think because it means things are OK.

So what do we want to do about meeting up? It would be good to try before Alison goes away, so if people are free this week, then how about Wednesday 9th in the evening? I can get away from work and be in Central London by 6pm? Any takers? Or is this too short notice?

Luce
xxx
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Postby Amanda A » Sun Jun 06, 2004 8:01 pm

Hi Girls,
Just a quickie to say that I can't do this Wed, Ruby is being spayed tomorrow, which involves an overnight stay at the vets and I will need to keep an eye on her for a few days.

If you do all met up, have a good time!

Luce, am glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better than last time you posted.

I had a bad day on Friday, not really sure why but just felt so depressed and couldn't stop crying. I think that maybe it's a bit of a delayed reaction to the neg result.

One minute I can be fairly positive & tell myself that people have worse things to cope with in this life than not being able to have a baby and the next it just feels like the absolute end of the world & I feel that I just won't be able to cope! Anyone else have extremes like this?

Well, Top Gear has just finished, so it is safe for me to go downstairs again!! Anyone else watching Hell's Kitchen?

Take Care everyone, Love Amanda xxx
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