Hi Girls
I am hoping to join you if you don't mind
I have had 4 ICSI, with 2 positives (both silent miscarried at 9 weeks after seeing the hearbeat - discovered during the 9 week scan) and 2 negatives.
I am sinking into some kind of depression whenever I am near to having my AF. I should have a 15 month old and be 23 weeks pregnant with the second, but nothing. And I am very sad about this and also keep asking how we could be so unlucky?
I am not sure we are over IVF yet, whether we will try again or try DIUI - which I am a very sad about as I wanted to have DH's baby. I think that as we had the silent m/c twice at more or less the same point in pregnancy, I think there must be something wrong that hasn't been picked up by my clinic. And if we try again and I get the marvelous BFP, it won't mean anything as it will only happen again!
To be honest I cannot go through the loss again, but also can't seem to give up. I am sure these are all emotions you are feeling/have felt. I seem to be floundering and can't seem to plan for anything - what's the point of planning when you can't have the one thing you want?
I think I am getting bitter and twisted and I really don't want to feel this way......
If you are inviting anyone, then I would love to meet up in London when you have it organised.
At the moment I am working in London though I live in Dorset. This is changing in the new year when I start a new local job. Unfortunately I have a 6 month probation on the new job and it's been a very hard decision as this stops us having treatment for a while and will mean a definite clinic change.
Anyway, if you are meeting before Xmas, I would love to come along.
Take care and I hope you understand how I am feeling - I hope I don't come across as some sort of nutter!
Tina