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Discussion forum for those who had completed their IVF treatments without a successful outcome and are seeking other options such as adoption, surrogacy etc.

Adoption

Postby jill dickens » Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:18 pm

Hello everyone,
I am only now able to write again since my miscarriage at 8 weeks in late November. I have made the very difficult decision to stop IVF treatment and move onto adoption. I hope my assesment will begin next week, I would love to hear from anyone who has been through or are currently going through the process. As with IVF I feel yet again very isolated and could really do with like minded people to chat to about the whole emotional subject.

I hope everyone over here is doing ok, I know how hard Christmas is for us, take care all
love Jill xx
TTC nearly 9 years
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
jill dickens
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Location: UK

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Postby sharoninsomerset » Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:59 pm

Hi Jill,

I seem to be in exactly the same boat as you. After 5 ivf attempts I found out in October that I had raised FSH, so our only other avenue is Adoption. I have just sent off for information packs but haven't got any further. We live in somerset and there is a general meeting we hope to go to on 29th Jan, so let the new adventure begin!!!

I would be interested to know what they tell you about the child ages etc. you can adopt - would you be just looking for one child for siblings? I think we would be interested in siblings if one of them is under 3 and both under 6 - obviously we would love one under 2 but I don't know what the chances of that are?

Anyway, hope your first steps go well
Keep in touch
Sharon x
me 38 DH 47 - TTC - 3.5 years - tubal infertility
4 failed IVF cycles - 1 abandoned
Found to have raised FSH when going for 5th cycle
Now looking at adoption
Let the new adventure start!
Sx
sharoninsomerset
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Postby jill dickens » Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:24 pm

Hi Sharon,
Thank you for writing, I will send you a PM
love Jill x
TTC nearly 9 years
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
jill dickens
Regular
 
Posts: 237
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 9:33 pm
Location: UK

Postby ogr1 » Thu Jan 06, 2005 1:09 pm

i know here it is alot easier and cheaper to adopt foster kids.
we have adopted 3. i know that in the states they have a web page.
they pay for the home study and for the adoption and sometimes you can put in for a subssadey and have medicale paid for until they graduate highschool.

some have majior problems and some dont have any.
and they can range from all ages.
but every child needs a place they can call a home and to be safe and loved. with ours it is hard cause they have been threw so much and have lived between 15 and 30 different places and have some huge problems and they range from 10 to 18. but i cant explain the way i feel the first time they give you a real smile or that first real hug...
or when you have gotten there trust.

if there is anything that i can do let me knowhttp
http://www.adoptuskids.org

http://www.acf.hhs.gov
love becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Postby jill dickens » Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:06 pm

Hi Becky,
Thank you so much for that, wow three children you have your hands full. You sound like it is very rewarding, how long did the whole process take from assessment to placement?
Thanks again for writing
love Jill x
PS Are you in the States?
TTC nearly 9 years
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
jill dickens
Regular
 
Posts: 237
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 9:33 pm
Location: UK

Postby ogr1 » Fri Jan 07, 2005 6:34 pm

yes i am in the states. i live in a small town in montana.
my foster parents started this ranch for kids. my husband and i took it over after they where in there 70s.
the 3 boys that we have adopted where are foster children. to where placed here when they where 11 and one when he was 12.almost thirteen.
then we have 8 foster children.we also have a 22 year old adopted daughter and a 23 year old adopted son who is married and expexticng our first grandchild....

here in the states you have to take a class that is free and they come and do a home study which is free. and they pay for the adoption.
but it can take a little while . it took one year to adopt one and 2 years for the others. but they lived with us the whole time.

it can be hard at times but we get kids that have been threw a lot.
do you guys have some kind of program for kids that have been abused?

did you go to the web pages and look?

good luck and let me know how it goes
becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Postby beckym » Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:37 pm

Hello Jill, Sharon and ogr

Jill- I can totally empathise with you in your situation but if it's any consolation we were at exactly the same stage as you this time last year (I had m/c in Dec 03 and we had just contacted out LA about adoption in Jan 04) and we are now just about to get our papers sent out to China with hopefully a referral of a baby (under 2) due within the next 7-8 months, so there is hope out there. We chose international adoption as we were told by the domestic adoption team of our local authority there were no babies available for adoption in Kent (which has proved not true as a friend of mine down the road adopted a year old child in May, but i do think it can take longer than ICA) but we are happy with our choice as I grew up abroad and have worked in Hong Kong as well so feel a link there.

Good luck to you both in your adoption quest. I have put more info on our China adoption timescales and adoption organisations to contact (both domestic and ICA) on the other thread (passed panel) if you are interested. the adoption community is very close-knit and supportive - we have been invited into so many homes in the last year to chat about adoption and meet their kids- there are also hundreds of groups and /or chat forums to join so the time does pass very quickly. I would advise you to get out there and contact other people who have already adopted, people who are ahead of you in the system etc as it all seems so much more real and exciting then and they can advise you how to avoid certain hurdles etc. The other thing, do push as much as you can to get assigned a social worker sooner rather than later for the homestudy as this is really when the clock starts ticking. anyone who is interested in discussing adoption plans in more detail can email me on Menzieshunt@aol.com. I will set you off with a list of stuff to be getting busy with!!!

ogr, don't think it is possible to adopt a foster child in the UK (or at least it is not an easy thing to do - they tend to discourage it - don't know why-silly, isn't it?)

Becky
beckym
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Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2003 7:50 pm
Location: West Kent


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