Hi Alison,

I know exactly what you are feeling. It happens to me every year around about September when the Christmas cards turn up in the shops. Every catalogue for stores promotes the family get togethers and massive family hampers.

for now there are just me and DH. For absolutely years I never bothered with a tree or decorations, but this is the third Christmas I have. It has made things more like home for us but

there is still something missing under the tree and it is not the presents. I even hang the chocolate from the tree. If we had children we would busy ourselves at Christmas driving around looking at all the lit up Reindeer and blow up Santas..... As I do now but on my own

They would all look a bit silly in our front garden as I am 36 and DH is 38.... What makes me

are ungrateful mothers or friends that are mothers who like you say let slip something they feel. They cannot possibly understand us unless they have had similar experiences. One work friend of mine has slowly become more distant as she has two children and well we cannot talk about the same things. I do not want to talk about creches or sleepless nights or clothes,

including shopping at stores for childrens baby items. People just do not understand, I was even told recently I could not understand how tiring it was to look after two children as I have not done it yet.

I had to bite back and mention for six months I looked after six and loved every minute of it. I would like her still as a friend but it is so hard, possibly we are just different types anyway. But you get tired of making excuses for peoples comments. I do believe though do not put yourself in positions you are not happy in, for example friends with babies and their get togethers, it hurts too much. I cannot bear it if DH mother has children photos up in lounge of her friends grandchildren,

that makes me so sad as it should be our own children. This year I have done groceries on line and will get to the stores before schools break up. It would be great to have a get together with the girls in the New Year, count me in for some sanity.
A special delivery to the site is being delivered....... bucket loads of baby dust to all........ Love Jjj x