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Feeling a little flat today

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Feeling a little flat today

Postby BelB » Tue Feb 01, 2005 10:24 pm

HI gals,
Just really need to debrief to be honest. My precious little girl is now three months old, she is truly gorgeous and I love her dearly. She is pretty much in a feed, activity sleep cycle which works well. My concern though is how to know how often I should take her out. I am a BIG stresser...When we were in hospital the paediatrician said that in her first six weeks to limit trips out to about weekly, he said that kids who were taken out a lot had higher incidences of ADHD and reflux..Now I've never heard of this before, but this advice, combined with a real lack of confidence and a need to sort out the feeding meant that I didn't leave the house much at all..Now that she's older we do take her out a bit, maybe once a day, certainly at least every second day, and nowhere terribly taxing, to appointments, to the shops etc, and I always work it around her sleeps / feeds etc. Am I taking her out too much????? :shock:

I've just got myself into a pickle..How do other mums manage the getting out the house issue?, do you keep your babies at home with their routine, or do you get them out and about..

:?: I know I'm stressing, am really just keen for some reassurance I guess..

Belinda and Annie
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Postby bubblymichelle » Wed Feb 02, 2005 6:17 am

Hi Bel,

Well when Alex was born I didn't really venture out for the first 6wks because I had a c section so it was kind of difficult. When I was able to drive though I made sure he was wrapped up warm and I did venture out. The thing is there is no harm in it because I think the fresh air does them the world of good. I just used to take the little ones bag with his bottle in one of his bottle bags and if I went into town I used to go to Mothercare or Debenhams to feed him. The thing is if you want to get into a routine at home you will never get out the house. When your in hospital they show you all different ways of bringing them up, IE when you bath them when I look back it was crazy, that you used to have to use seperate cotton wool for eyes, ears, hands etc... well I think so anyway. When I got home I used to bath Alex has any other child would be bathed just avoided if I could getting water in his ears (sorry went off subject a little)
Let us know how you get on.
You must be doing a wonderful job though Bel so keep your chin up.
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Postby DebraP » Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:06 pm

Hi Bel....lovely to see you on here although sorry you're stressing.

To be honest I've never heard of the reflux or other negative results of taking the baby out. What about mums who go back to work and the baby goes to daycare or nursery? What about all the mums who belong to baby groups and coffee mornings? There's a local saying here (sorry, I don't want to sound like Dr Phil with his 'we have an expression for that back where ah come fram...." which was bleated at me 100 times a day by MIL as it's considered vital to take your baby out every day for the fresh air. The saying rhymes in Norwegian but is basically 'go out for a walk and you'll never have an unhappy baby'. And that's from a country where winter lasts 6-7m and is freezing bloody cold!! We're told to dress the baby appropriately for the weather (so a zillion times more clothes than lovely Annie will need), pop them in the pram, and out you go.

I think getting out ever day is vital for YOUR health and not just Annie's. Yes she'll need an insect net and full shade but you need to do more than stare at the walls.

Re. when to take them out. I've the opposite view from Michelle (!), I have always followed Gina Ford's routine very strictly so yes this stopped (and still stops at weekends) us going out at nap time (but this is now only 1 x 2hr block) but has paid off in spades for 99% of the time when she drops off at 7pm each night, falls off on her own, in her cot and stays there for 12 hours. I really believe this is because I regulate(d) her daytime naps. On the occasions when we've messed this up, flights/travelling, long car journeys unavoidable apts. etc....it's always bitten us in the a*se later that night. I love having a routine, I can make plans for where and when to be somewhere without any worries of 'what if she's sleeping/tired/feeding/hungry' then. She never was as I knew what time she'd be asleep etc. I've never felt constricted by it as most friends also had babies and so we could make arrangements based on the different routines.

I'm gone on and on, sorry Bel! In summary: I'd say take Annie out as much as you want, certainly daily now and perhaps for something nice (beach?park?swimming?window shopping?visiting other nums/babies?), make it time for you too. Plus, I'm a fan of routines, the degree of restriction for me was offset knowing when I was free - hope that makes sense!

Hugs to Annie.
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Postby Jules R » Wed Feb 02, 2005 8:08 pm

Hi Bel,

Please try not to worry too much. I've never heard that taking babies out could be bad for them and I'd have gone mad if I hadn't been able to get out of the house daily. Even now that my two are nearly 3, we still go out for a daily walk, although obviously they now join me in the walking part! I used to go for a walk at the same time every day (in the afternoon) so that it fitted in with our routine (an essential with twins). If we went out for other trips, it didn't seem to affect the routine too much. As Debra says, I think that fresh air is good for them. And just to reassure you Daniel and Charlotte never had reflux and have no signs of ADHD.

TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
Jules R
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Postby BelB » Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:44 pm

HI Michelle, Debra and Jules,
Thanks so much for your thoughts and encouragement. I agree Michelle, in hospital they are a tad over the top, we did the whole sperate cotton wool thing for about a week when we got home then dumped it as one more thing to be pedantic about. I also think hospital is very good at skilling you up for the week in hospital, but I never had any information about how to manage once I got home (though maybe I did and was in such a daze that I have no recollection!!)
Debra, lovely to hear from you!, how is the lovely Maya going?, I like your fresh air expression (nothing at all like Dr Phil thank goodness!!!), and agree, fresh air is good for me, surely it is for babies as well!
Jules, routine would have been essential with twins!!, I have the utmost respect for people that have multiple pregnancies, coping with a singleton is hard work on its own!!
Thanks gals
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Postby Juliana » Mon Feb 07, 2005 9:53 am

Hi Bel, how nice to see your lovely girl is already 3 months old! I remember you from the time I first joined the boards , how lucky we are to be both enjoying our kids right now! Mine are in their fifth month and getting nicer and more communicative by the day!
I can relate to you being worried about going out! I was so insecrure the first few weeks I did not dare to take Alex and Nadia anywhere, plus Nadia was too small and they suggested i should not take her out till she was bigger. But where I come from they also have saying that healthier babies are the ones who are out every day so after a while I made an effort and they are the better for it, me too for having been out of the house! I found they slept well in the buggy so I often take them out during their lunch nap. and like debra and jules, I just fitted going out in the routine. hope you will manage too, let us know how you get on.
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Postby ogr1 » Tue Feb 08, 2005 6:21 am

i have never herd that going out cause add or adhd...
i think alot of doctors over use adhd.

we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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Postby BelB » Tue Feb 15, 2005 10:45 pm

HI girls,
Just wanted to say hi, and that we're doing much better now!, I've been trying to get out with Annie for a walk at least every afternoon..She seems to enjoy it, plus John and I get to chat about events of the day (we go as soon as he gets home from work)..She loves four wheel driving my girl, if I push her pram on a smooth path or road she grizzles, but when I push her over the grass and other rough areas, she laughs and smiles..We have a four wheel drive car (though we rarely go off road!!), so maybe she's used to it??..I love that she's developing a little personality all of her own..
Off to baby clinic today, must run!
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