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Happy 1st Birthday Katelyn.

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Happy 1st Birthday Katelyn.

Postby Dagny » Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:58 pm

Dearest Katelyn

It is a year tomorrow that you came prematurely into your Mummy and Daddys lives. You were not supposed to be here but God had other plans for you. He wanted you to become an angel and be in heaven. We have asked ourselves and Him 'Why?' so many times but we never seem to get an answer.

You were beautiful Katelyn. You were so tiny and so perfect. You had Mummys mouth and chin and Daddy's big feet! You took a few short breaths and you died in Mummys arms.

We cried so much Katelyn. We had wanted you so much and had battled to get pregnant with you for so long. We never knew how much love we could feel for a tiny being growing inside my tummy. At every scan you 'performed' for us, waving, kicking, dancing and sometimes sleeping. But each time you had grown so much and we loved seeing your profile of your face and your fingers and toes. The last scan was where we were told you were sick. Your heart wasn't working properly but you were safe in my tummy. You were born a week later at 9.40 in the morning and you left us at 9.43am.

Not a day goes by that we don't think of you little one. You have changed our lives. We miss you so much. Tomorrow we should be having a party for you with balloons and cake and all your little friends. We try to imagine what you would look like now. Curly hair? Brown hair? Green or brown eyes? We will never know. I have seen so many lovely party dresses that you'd look so pretty in.......

Tomorrow Mummy and Daddy will put some beautiful flowers on your grave just like the ones you had at your funeral with white feathers and pink roses. The rest of the day we will spend together, just the two of us. On Sunday a prayer will be said for you during the service. Everyone is thinking about you sweetheart - Especially Opa, Oma, Nana, Grandad and Lucy, they all miss you too.

Wishing you a very HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY our beautiful little girl. We hope you are playing with all the other babies in heaven and having lots of fun.

All our love forever, missing you more than ever from

Mummy and Daddy xkx

Image
Last edited by Dagny on Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny
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Postby Jules R » Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:14 pm

Oh Katelyn, how beautiful a girl you were and how tragic that one year on you're not here with Mummy and Daddy as you should be.

We'll be thinking of you and Mummy and Daddy tomorrow. They're both hugely proud of you and that will never change.

Love Jules

P.S. Dagny, you've been in my thoughts a lot recently. It's such a difficult time for you and I know that you and David will be strong for each other but I just want to check that family and friends are looking after both of you. Take care.
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Postby Dagny » Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:27 pm

Thanks Jules

She was beautiful wasn't she? We have lots of care and support at the moment but we feel so isolated as well. Grief does strange things to you and you become a different person. I sometimes wonder how I will ever be the real me again - I doubt it will happen. A part of me died with Katelyn last year.

I just wish I knew if all this pain is worth something. I am so scared I'll never be a Mummy. I hope I can be given the chance again one day......

Hope you and the twins are well?

Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny
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Postby DebraP » Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:06 pm

Dagny, thank you so much for posting the photo. It is a very special moment. She was a lovely little baby.

I hope you both find the strength to get through tomorrow.
love
Debra.
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Postby ogr1 » Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:15 pm

dagny i am so glad that you have shared the photo of you and Katelyn..
and you are right a part does die with our children..
but i dont think that we are ever suposed to lose hope.
i try and keep my faith and try and turn it to heavenly father cause the pain is way to deep for me to do alone.

i also try and think of all our little Angles are playing together..

all my love thoughts and prayers are with you..
love becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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Postby bubblymichelle » Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:02 pm

Dagny,

I just want to say my thoughts are with you and your DH. I know you will be strong for each other but I hope tomorrow goes as well as can be expected. I send you a big hug and I just want to say thank you for sharing such a special photo with us, she was a beautiful little girl, and will always have a place in your heart.

Love & Hugs
Michelle.
xx
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Postby ogr1 » Sat Feb 26, 2005 2:27 am

it has help me to do this
i thought maybe you might like to do the same...

http://www.babybunny.net/

love becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Postby SQUEW » Sat Feb 26, 2005 10:44 am

My Dearest friend

As I have already said, Rob and I are thinking of you both on what will be a terribly hard day for you. Its lovely that you have posted the photo, she was so beautiful.

All our love honey,

Sue and Rob xxxxxxx
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Postby Traci » Sat Feb 26, 2005 5:22 pm

Happy Birthday Katelyn
When I have gotten through the tears in my eyes I might be able to type something ................................................................

My dearest friend Dagny I cannot imagine how you feel but I can certainly feel the pain through your words . I feel helpless as in what to say except that I am thinking of you today and will light a candle for your Little girl and I am not a religious person but I will say a prayer for you tonight . Thank you for shareing your photo she is beutifull .




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Postby ogr1 » Sat Feb 26, 2005 5:58 pm

i went here and let a candel for Katelyn..
here is the web addres if you would like to light one to..




http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm
i have also have one going here at home to..
i hope that you can feel the love that we have for you and are arms are wrapped around you

love

becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Postby Dagny » Mon Feb 28, 2005 12:08 pm

Thankyou everyone

It was very hard on Saturday. We went to Katelyn's grave and was there for 9.40am when she was born. David made her a lovely little snowman and we put our flowers there. Others had been up to her grave and left flowers too which was so touching and we received lovely cards and messages from friends and family.

David and I went out for lunch and spent the afternoon together.

Our vicar said a beautiful prayer during the service on Sunday which was so touching. Since Katelyn has died I have really become a huge part of the congregation at our church. We married there and Katelyn is buried in the churchyard and I go every week to the service and the people there are so kind and caring.

I now have to try and face the future.

Becky your candle was lovely - thankyou. Strangely enough your candle was burning on the same page as my mums one that she did for Katelyn. I did one too.

A poem someone gave me.....

If God did not make Angels, then who would want to die?
How could there be a Heaven in that great place in the sky?
If God did not make Angels, then who could sing and play
And evermore watch over us each moment, every day?
He chooses them so carefully and often they are small,
His babies are most innocent, and some aren't born at all.
These cherubs are a special gift sent down for us to love,
If only for a little while until they're called above.
If you conceived an Angel that was not meant to stay,
Then do not grieve and make it sad, just let it go and play,
For Heaven is a special place where we all wish to go,
Our Angels will be waiting there for all of us, you know,
And when we see their faces and their little golden smile,
We'll know our precious Angels only left for a short while.
We'll cuddle them and smother them with kisses filled with love,
That day we meet our Angels in God's nursery up above.


Much love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny
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Location: Redhill, Surrey

Postby DebraP » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:01 pm

Dagny, thank you for that poem. It is beautiful and touching.

I'm glad you're finding support and comfort in the church and its community.

with love
Debra.
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Postby Tina » Tue Mar 01, 2005 12:54 pm

Dagny

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful photo.

I am thinking about you and David at such a terribly sad time.

With love

Tina
1st ICSI 2002 - BFP but m/c 9 weeks
2nd and 3rd ICSI 2003/04 - BFN
4th ICSI 2004 - BFP but m/c 9 weeks
5th ICSI 2005 - BFN
6th and 7th 2005 - IUI with donor sperm - BFN
8th and 9th 2006- IVF with donor sperm and donor eggs - BFN
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Postby nicolamark » Tue Mar 01, 2005 6:06 pm

Dagny,
Your post touched my heart, your little Katelyn was so lovely. She's such an angel. Thanks for letting us all see and share such a wonderful piccy.
TTC 9yrs...lots of IUIs all BFN
1st IVF cancelled OHSS
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise
3rd IVF down regging now, EC expected 1st wk of sept.
Image
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Postby helenlouise » Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:14 pm

Dagny,
words fail me, but Katelyn is truely a beautiful angel who has touched us all.

Thinking of you and wishing you well,
helen
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me 33, DP 35
ICSI cycle Nov 2003, tested positive.
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