Message for Hayley

by **karenkirwan** » Mon Oct 28, 2002 12:43 pm

Hayley, Sorry for not replying sooner,have had a lot or work on. I was treated at the Royal Maternity Hospital and my allocated doctor was Dr Traub. As they discovered some time later that my dh had a problem with his sperm Dr Traub told me that the only treatment available was ICSI. I haven't had any luck and got an infection the last time which put me off completely. All my treatments were privately funded on the waiting list & then I applied for free treatment from the NHS which I received and was told I had 3 free go's. I've had one of the three which was my last time but to be honest after the last fiasco in bad temper I took my name off both lists. I spoke with my doctor recently and he has made enquiries for me to have private treatment in London. A young couple who decided to have treatment in London who had 5 failed attempts in the Royal have had twins from the London Fertility Centre this year. Of course, everyone's circumstances are different but again i have to save up like yourself for the treatment and hope to have a go in the New Year! I don't like the idea of having to fly backwards & forwards but I will probably have to wait another 18-24months to get back on the list and by that time I'll be 35 & don't want to go through that agonising wait again. Any way, how are you coping & thanks for replying to my posting. Love KarenXX

by **hayley** » Mon Oct 28, 2002 2:14 pm

hi karen thanks for your mesage. i was also treated with the same dr and although i found him plesant enough i cannt help feeling the same as you - regarding alternative clinics! i know im at very early stages of the ivf journey but i have found the royal to be very vague in alot of ways for example after my first attempt with 30 eggs and none of which fertilised i wanted to ask dr traub so many questions - why? if my dh sperm has a normal count and i am ovulating why is it not workin - the answer i got was that either my eggs are toooooo hard or dh sperm is not sharp enough!! i know they dont know all the answers but i just feel that they have rushed me into isci without doing more tests ie antibodies ( r me and dh allergic to each other?) have you been offered any of these tests? i know im rambling on but some times i just feel that you lot are the only people in the world that understand. some days, like you i feel is this worth it - do i really want children- look at the life we can have without them (not!) then you have sister-in-laws who are mother nature themselves saying comments like- if you stopped drinkin wine for six months and tried the normal way it would happen! wot does she think ive been doing for the past 6 years! thanks again for your message take care talk soon hayley

by **karenkirwan** » Tue Oct 29, 2002 4:31 pm

Hi Hayley, While I believe Dr Traub is one of the best his people skills I found lacking. I had every test under the sun & had I.U.I's before Craigavon lad discovered something wrong with the dh sperm. He hadn't been tested 'cos he has a 10 yr old daughter from a previous relationship, so they didn't think to test him while they put me under the knife. All my tests came back clear but my hubbie had to go for further tests and it was confirmed that he had low count & motility & high quantity of antibodies. We were told IVF would never work & that ICSI was the only option. I even had a donor sperm back up paid for but was not used and Dr Traub seemed adamant to continue with the ICSI until I was successful. All I seemed to get was no answers to my questions and fobbed off with 'every treatment is different' and that it takes on average 4-5 cycles to achieve a successful pregnancy! I personally don't understand it and have tried reading up on it but have found nothing that I don't already know except that if you are loaded and go to a top clinic anything can happen. And you thought you were rambling!!! I do feel for you, I think its the frustration of not knowing and not been told that's worse. If you are interested in going across the water you can write to either of these recommended clinics for a brochure - they also offer egg sharing in return for free treatment programmes - at University College London Hospital Private patient wing Rosenheil Building 25 Grafton Way LONDON WC1E 6DB WEBSITE: www.conception-acu.com or London Gynaecology & Fertility Centre LTD Cozens House 112A Harley Street London WIG 7JH WEBSITE: www.Ifc.org.uk Who know's if you are producing a lot of eggs maybe you should look into the egg sharing programme & get a free treatment. By the way my mum has just told me that an embryologist originally from Belfast working in England has come home to Belfast and is setting up her own private practice and its worth enquiring about that. Maybe this person will be more sympathetic & explain things. Any way have to go & do some work. Keep in touch and let me know how u r getting on. Luv Karen x

by **fiona_lk** » Tue Oct 29, 2002 4:50 pm

Hi Karen and Hayley, Sorry to barge in on your NI discussion, but have you considered M/cr as an alternative (MFS or Care) to London - the prices might be cheaper for treatment, accomodation and flights (and closer to the airport). Just a thought. As an aside, I was a frequent visiter to Belfast myself for a number of years until I changed jobs a couple of years ago. My client was Northern Ireland Electricity - and I have never met a nicer bunch of people before or since. They homed in on the fact I had a sweet tooth and had wonderful 'elevensies' ready at every meeting I went to - including treacle scones which I have never seen in England before or since - would love the recipe. Nice to have something to say other than IVF. Good Luck to both of you. Love Fiona xxx

by **hayley** » Wed Oct 30, 2002 10:24 am

hi karen & fiona thank you both for your advise on alternative clinics! i just feel that because the royal is the only hospital in northeren ireland to do the ivf treatment that you are just a number eg dr traub looks at me every time as though he is meeting me for the first time - very frustrating!!! i would be very interested karen in finding out about the dr who is considering setting up a private practice as we are having to go private in the royal anyway as i have my name down for nhs treatment but have been told that the earlist they could take me would be aug 04!!! fiona glad to hear you thing we're a friendly bunch- northern ireland tends to get such a hard time and it really is a great wee place (part from their nhs treatments!) i have a great recipe for treacle scones- let me know if you want me to email it to you. good luck to both of you hayley