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Looking for Premature Menopausal Women just like me!

Postby SamanthaH » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:49 am

Hi All,

I am new member who found this site after having another bad week on the fertility front!

I am 33 and was told I was going through the menopause 18 months ago after my periods had stopped for 6 months! I was in hell, hot flushes weight gain, migraines, skin, hair and nails were a mess, and I was a mess! I am a beauty Therapist and had to give up work because the hot flushes and migraines were making it impossible to give treatments!
I have struggled with every aspect of my diagnosis, not feeling like a woman, feeling different from all my friends and even their daughters, I have a 16 year old step daughter who through no fault of her own makes me feel worthless!
As for the baby thing, I know my only chance of having a baby is through Egg donation but it still kills me to think that child will never look like me or my family, I hope this is sounding normal to people just like me and I am not just sounding completely mad :x

Would love to here from anyone else in the same situation to me, this site has been a great help and comfort to me already and I have been in touch with some great people and hope to speak to more! :) :) :) :)

Love Sam x
SamanthaH
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Location: Swindon

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Postby AliasR » Fri Jun 03, 2005 12:07 pm

Dear Sam

Welcome to this amazingly crazy yet supportive bunch of women who know only too well what you've brilliantly described!

Not having the same problem but yes, there are some women on the same boat. I'm sure they'll get back to you asap!

Anyway it's great you decided to join in, i feel my life has never been the same since - here i feel normal...

If you have any questions you can post them in the general forum and you'll be sure to have dozens of replies. There are also chat threads just for fun or to lighten up our busy and sometimes "less happy days" so just drop in and have a go!

Hope to see you soon!

Rita
TTC 2y Me 31 Dh 34 NO SPERM - DI
AliasR
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Postby LittleP » Fri Jun 03, 2005 1:13 pm

Hi Sam

Welcome :D

You poor thing - what a terrible time you've been having from the sounds of things.

You will find loads of support and help here as Rita has said - there are so many girls with excellent advice and information.

If you come over to the General Forum you will get to meet loads of the others.

I'm afraid I don't know anything about Donor eggs, but there are several girls who have recently gone through it, or are just about to embark on the journey.

Look forward to speaking to you again and good luck.

Little P
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Postby Kat » Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:05 pm

Hi again Sam, glad you made it over here!
As to the not looking like you bit, I too have struggled with this and it still pops back into my mind regularly. Before I knew I needed donor eggs it would never have occurred to me or anyone I know that I might have a child without my genes, it's not something you even think or talk about is it? My Mum is always comparing someone to someone else, especially my nieces as they grow up, and this is something I find really difficult (confession - I have never told my parents about our ivf or about the donor eggs yet :shock: ) Looks-wise, me & DH are quite different, I am round where he is long & thin, I have a small nose, he has a big nose etc, so a child could come out with any of these features and not look the slightest bit like me or my family. Maybe I have just managed to convince myself or maybe I do really believe it but I think a child would become like me & DH even if it did not have my genes because of the way we would bring it up. (Becky (ogr1) says her foster children have picked up the same mannerisms as her DH from living with them) So what if it has straight hair and I have wavy hair? I have no idea what a mix of my and DH genes would look like anyway. And the clinic take your picture to get a good match for looks etc.
Like I said, maybe I have just done a really good job of convincing myself or maybe I really do believe this. I know any child we had would be loved and that's what matters.
Sorry that was a bit long! Any time you want to talk, you know where we are!
Lots of love
Kat xx
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
Kat
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Postby Sand » Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:04 am

Hi Sam .. I just want to say hi and Welcome to the Boards. There are many girls here using donor eggs, and I'm sure most of them have had the same questions and fears as you're experiencing. I hope you find this board as supportive as I have.

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Sand
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Postby Katie12563 » Sat Jul 16, 2005 5:31 pm

Hi Sam...I just came across your post to say I believe you are safe...in whatever you decide to tell your family unless their less than postive reaction will be hurtful to you...if so then don't tell them until you "could care less what they think.!!!

Right now you need to take care of you and DH's feelings and stay strong through the conception and pregnancy. After that decide how you feel and take it from there. You may love the baby so much that you don't want to explain anything to anyone or you may love the baby so much you want to shout it from the roof tops how this miracle life can to pass.

Love and Hugs to you both. Good LucK!
Me: 44...NEWLYWED
After 5 attempts (Iui & IVF)
My Little One Is Here...SOOOOoooo Happy

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