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Message for Alison

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Message for Alison

Postby Grace » Sun May 29, 2005 6:50 pm

Alison
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, hope everything is going just as it should be.
Has been great hearing from everyone over the past few weeks. We all seem busy bees at the moment.
I will write properly when I have more time.
Very, very special wishes to Alison and Julian and love to everyone else too.
Gracexx
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Postby ogr1 » Mon May 30, 2005 12:41 am

hi grace..
how are you holding up?

today was a good day here..
got the garden planted.. except for the corn.. it got to hot.. it was 98 out.

Alison and Julian i to hope that everything is going ok..

hope to talk soon..
becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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Postby Alison » Mon May 30, 2005 4:55 pm

Grace - that is so incredibly kind of you (and of becky) - I have a little tear in my eye! I'm doing ok I think. Half way through the 2ww and going a bit mad with boredom - decided for this our final go that I'd take the whole time off work which may or may not have been a mistake. Have various gently constructive things that I could be doing (sorting all the photoes out from last year's trip is one major project) but so far I've been mainly couch-dwelling and watching DVDs!

Looking forward to hearing your proper news soon and maybe catching up in person over the summer. Much love

Alison xx
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Postby luce » Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:54 pm

Hi girls

I confess I have been sneaking onto the boards following your progress and keeping everything crossed for you Alison. I followed your ET dilemmas etc and am sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

Hope you're keeping occupied on the 2ww, and that you haven't succumbed to knicker checking already!

Just out of interest, did Mr T recommend any other drugs for you, eg, IVIG etc? If so, did you go for it?

Let us know how you get on - am really hoping for a success story.

My only news is that I have finally (after many months of talking about it) started my paramedic course - in week 2 of 14 weeks. Am a little nervous about the maternity bit for obvious reasons! If a meet up is arranged, I am finishing every day at 4pm so can easily make it to an evening thing (after I've changed out of the uniform of course!)

Hang in there Alison!

Love
Luce
xx

PS Girlies, hope you're all OK!
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Postby Amanda A » Fri Jun 03, 2005 9:14 pm

Thinking of you Alison, Love Amanda xxx
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Postby Alison » Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:54 pm

Me again. Well, perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised to be posting that it hasn't worked out for us once again. Got myself very excited over the weekend when AF hadn't shown up (I never normally make it anywhere near test date) and did an HPT on Sunday that showed a faint positive, but blood tests yesterday and today confirmed that it had already given up the ghost. As this is the 3rd time we've been in this situation I feel someone's trying to tell me something!

Luce, in answer to your question they said to me this morning that if the results had gone up significantly they'd have called me in for an IVIG. They also took blood this morning for some sort of NK follow-up tests (although I'd had all that done before) so I'm hoping to possibly find out whether the embies just die or whether I kill them, although I'm not sure that that information will help any, and at this stage really don't want to get sucked into another, "well we could try this..." (although to be fair its some time since anyone's suggested anything different).

Small positives to draw from this are that having had the same thing happen as before my tubes were removed I think I've proved that that hasn't made a difference, and that having had it not work when I have been completely rested reassures me that going back to work in previous cycles isn't what caused it to go wrong. (You know how it is, I didn't really rationally believe that, but you can get obsessed and guilty feeling about daft things).

I'm doing OK. Cross with myself really for allowing me to get my hopes up and start planning who I was going to tell when and how to enjoy my secret in the meantime, but rationally not entirely surprised to be back here. I've got a strong feeling that we're still in a much better place than we were a year or so ago, and a bit closer to "closure" (to use a cliche).

Anyway, I hope you don't mind me going on at some length. I did post a bit back on the general board and have "met" some lovely people, but they don't know me like you do! I would absolutely love to meet up again sometime soon. How about we fix a date for early evening in a few weeks' time? In the meantime, its great to hear Luce's news, and look forward to hearing more from Grace, Lou and Amanda.

Much love, and thanks again for your support - it really means so much to me.

Alison xx
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Postby luce » Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:14 pm

Oh Alison

Words fail me. I have been logging on daily since last Thurs watching your posts silently and hoping and praying that the outcome would be different. I was so excited on your behalf at the weekend, and then so gutted on Monday, but ever hopeful that the result would turn out differently. We all know there are very few words of comfort right now, but we all understand what you are going through and are here if you need us, and we are thinking of you, both.

I am so impressed that you are finding small positives to draw even at this early stage, and it is good that they are things that you may have wondered about in previous cycles, no matter how irrational they may sound.

A meet up would be great - am free most evenings really, and can get to town for around 6.30 probably. Let's see what we can work out as I think it would do us all some good, it's been too long. Grace, Lou and Amanda, are you free? And has anyone heard anything at all from Jen - I really hope she's OK wherever she is, and whatever she's up to.

Much love Alison, stay strong!

Luce
xxxxx
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Postby Grace » Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:15 pm

Alison
I am so sorry. I truly am. Like Luce said the other day, I don't follow the other boards anylonger but have been keeping a close eye on you over the past few days. I really thought it had worked out for you this time and can't quite believe the utter rollercoaster of it all.(well I can believe it really, I know so well what it is like)
Last time around I sat up all night unable to sleep and quietly planning what it was going to be like being pregnant at last...

I am sure you must feel utterly shattered and drained.

Alison, please come on and "talk" to us when ever and for how long you want. I will check in regularly over the next few days.
You have been so supportive to me in the past and I know I speak for all our little group when I say we are here for you. I won't use any of the old cliches because you know them all. I just want you to know that I am thinking of you.

Yes, let's meet up soon. In the meantime look after yourself and be as kind to yourself as possible. I wish we could understand why we have to endure this horrible pain but as you know so well the rawness of the pain does get a bit better, and you are a strong woman.

Talk soon, sending you a really big hug.
Love
Gracexxx
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Postby Amanda A » Fri Jun 10, 2005 5:07 pm

Alison,
I am so so sorry.

What can I say except that it is such a blow yet again for both of you, just not fair.

I hope that us being here helps a little. As Grace says just log on whenever you want and get some of it out of your system. We don't mind how long the posts are we have all been there as you know!

I was so hoping that this would be your lucky break you so deserve it.

Take Care of yourself and yes another meet up would be great. Speak again soon.

Love Amanda xx
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Postby Alison » Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:11 pm

Grace, Luce, Amanda - Thank you so much for your messages. You know, really I feel I'm doing OK, mentally at least. Physically I'm a bit of a wreck! Have got the AF from hell, a slight cold, and bizarrely this morning woke up with strange puffy lumps under my eyes. No doubt its a combination of the stress and the hormones. Time is passing quickly and it is hard to believe it was only a week ago that I was starting to think it might have worked for us.

Having said that, I am curious to find out what the results of the blood tests were, although god knows what I'll do if they say, "aha, you had a massively raised level of this, and if we do this next time then you've a good chance of success" - except possibly ask why they didn't know that before we'd spent who knows what (I'm too terrified to try to do the calculation) on unsuccessful treatments!

Thanks again, and looking forward to seeing you soon. Like Luce, early evening would suit me best, having taken rather a lot of time off work lately! Does someone want to suggest some possible dates?

Alison x
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Postby ogr1 » Sat Jun 11, 2005 3:15 pm

my heart is acheing with you..
i was will you know..
there just doesnt seem to be words to say..

i do want to think you for being such a good friend to me and to so many others...

and i know what you meen about the doctors and there results..
why does it take suh losses to figure things out..



and i so wish that you could all have a get together over here..
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